Deuces Are Wild
by aswiftlytiltingreality
Summary: River wants to be normal. Jayne likes to be free. Will Jayne be able to hold on to his bird without becoming completely tame and will his bird ever realize being normal is overrated? postBDM,Wash still alive.
1. Strawberry Wine

**I own nothing.**

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Since the Miranda incident, River had become saner. She had also stopped talking. Not completely, but markedly so. Simon and Kaylee were the first to notice the radical change, as was Wash surprisingly. Since being being injured during the Reaver attack at Mr. Universe's compound, River had taken over his piloting duties until he was fully recovered and then began to keep him company on the bridge thereafter. At first, Wash believed she was just in a foul mood, as most of the crew was because of the events that had so recently occurred, but as time wore on Wash realized she was just not talking, something highly peculiar. Then the entire crew became aware of River's uncharacteristic self-induced silence. Still, she seemed content to spend the majority of her time sitting in companionable silence with Wash, watching him enact outrageous monologues with his dinosaurs and ramble on about random past occurrences that held no real weight with the goings on of the Serenity crew. Slowly, River began to respond, offering an amused smile, and then a laugh, and after a time, she joined Wash in his dinosaur role playing. When not dino role playing with Wash, River occupied herself with searching the cortex-for what Wash wasn't sure of. Then one day he heard something. It was an unfamiliar song.

"What exactly are you listening to, River?" Wash winced at what he assumed to be a very angry young man screaming about how he wished to kill his wife. River did not look up. "Music from Earth-That-Was. While you were recuperating I began to compile media artifacts from Earth-That-Was."

She frowned. "She does not like this man...this Eminem. He's so angry."

"People listened to that? Willingly?" he asked incredulously. "Why?"

River shrugged. "She is not sure. She has been listening to several different genres of music, songs by different musicians and they are all different, though many are just as vulgar if not more so."

"Lovely," Wash came to look over her shoulder, "what else is there?"

"She is partial to some country, rock and what is called indie music. Though, she does like several songs from each genre."

"Country," Wash mused, "play some of that."

River obliged him and a slow, sad song piped in through the cortex. Both sat quietly, nodding along to the music until Wash spoke suddenly. "Well, that's depressing. I won't be drinking strawberry wine anytime soon."

He looked over to River to see if she had laughed only to find her staring ahead in quiet contemplation, her brow furrowed as if in deep thought as she listened intently to the song. "I wish were normal."

"What? River, you are normal," Wash said, sitting up. River shook her head. "No, no I will never experience anything that any of these songs talk about. I will always be alone like Jayne. Except unlike Jayne, I do not wish to be. Jayne has people who understand him and Jayne has the ability to find someone who may fully understand who he is, but I do not. I will always be crazy little River, the girl who will never grow up. No one understands me."

Before Wash could respond, River suddenly stood, head bowed, and left the bridge quickly, passing Jayne, who's mouth was full of food, on the way.

"River," Wash called after her, but she refused to turn around. Jayne looked at Wash and then back at River and then to Wash again. "She cryin'?" he asked between chews. Wash opened his mouth to say something and then shut it. Jayne nodded in amusement. "Nice," he said before disappearing toward his bunk presumeably.

Then Zoe and Mal were heading towards the bridge and Wash knew for certain that River had indeed begun to cry. He threw up his hand defensively. "I swear, I didn't do anything! We were just sitting here and then all of the sudden..." he backed up all the way into his chair and sat down.

"Well, then why is she crying?" Mal asked. Then he heard the music and looked around in confusion. "An' what the hell are you listenin' to?"

"Earth-That-Was country music and that's not what made her cry-"

"Then it had to a' been you, Wash, an' since when do you go about makin' little girls cry an' run off?"

"What's wrong with makin' girls cry?"

The three of them turned to find Jayne standing in the doorway with half a loaf of bread hanging out of his mouth. When they continued to stare at him he frowned. "What? It's not like she's some delicate little flower. Are you forgettin' she done took outta room full o' Reavers or was I the only one completely lucid at the time since ya'll was busy playin' invalid?"

"I wasn't there and-did you just say _lucid_?" Wash asked, staring at Jayne in surprise much like Zoe and Mal were.

"An' since when do you know what invalid means?" Mal added. Jayne's glare deepened. "Gee, nice to know y'all think so highly of my vocabulary. I did manage ta get some schoolin' in 'fore I left home, ya know. An' ain't we supposed to be talkin' 'bout how the little man here made ya'll's dear, sweet little crazy, stab-happy Moonbrain cry?"

"That is Jayne's job, husband," Zoe said, turning back to Wash, who again held up his hands. "Look all I know is, one minute we're listening to this old timey music and I tell her I don't plan on drinking any strawberry wine any time soon..." When their expressions became confused, Wash huffed. "It had to do with the song-something about strawberry wine and being seventeen. Really depressing. Anyway, so I'm thinking she'll laugh you know, because she's been laughing a little lately-"

"You got 'er ta laugh?" Mal's eyebrows raised in surprise. Angry that he had been cut off again, Wash snapped, "Yes, would you let me finish?! So, she doesn't. She just sits there all gloomy like and then launches into this whole speech about how she'll never be normal-"

"Ya got that right," Jayne snorted biting off another chunk of bread. Wash shot him a glare, annoyed at being cut off once more, but continued, "and no one understands her and no one wants to and no one ever will. Then she just ran out."

"So, ya did make her cry?" Jayne asked and when Wash shrugged, unsure of whether or not he had, Jayne began to chuckle. "As I said before. Nice."

"Jayne, you're not helping," Mal hissed. He turned back towards Wash. "So this is all 'bout her not being normal?"

Wash opened and closed his mouth for a second before finally stuttering out, "I-I guess, I mean I understand River about as well as anyone on this boat. Maybe it was the song..."

"Did the song make you all weepy an' sissified?" Jayne asked. Wash glared at him indignantly. "No."

"Then it wasn't the song, genius. Feng le girl prolly got all moody like she does is all. Girls do do that, Wash," Jayne said mockingly, "you should know this-you're married ta one."

"Since when do you know about girls?" Wash snapped. "when was the last time you were with a girl you didn't pay to spend time with you?"

"Hey," Jayen shot back through his mouthful, pointing the loaf of bread at him, "I been with plenty o' girls an' the ones you're talkin' 'bout ain't girls, they're women. Even them workin' gals is nutty ev'ry now an' then. Bet a time or two one of em' has gone all crazy on a man or two after a haul. That's why you don't kiss em' on the mouth an' you don't sit around havin' tea time with em' an' talkin' about their_ feelings_."

"Wow, Jayne, I wish you had been here when I was courting Zoe. I'm sure your great expertise on the fairer sex would have cut the courtin' time in half at the least," Wash said sarcastically. Jayne opened his mouth to retaliate, but Mal cut him off. "Alright, knock it off you two."

Mal shot a glare at Zoe, who had begun to laugh half way through Jayne's speech. Though Zoe tried her best, she couldn't wipe the grin from her face.

The sound of running caused the four of them to turn suddenly. River was racing toward the bridge, a book in hand and a determined look on her face. She pushed past Jayne, Zoe, and Mal and stopped short in front of Wash, breathing heavily. Wash pushed back in his chair, expecting River to attack when she held the book out to him. "I believe I have found a literary work that you will enjoy."

Wash continued to stare at her apprehensively as he took the book from her hands. "What's it about?"

"Jayne and his bird!" she exclaimed. Wash blinked up at her. "Jayne and his bird?"

She nodded. "If you enjoy it, I will look for an old film of it from Earth-That-Was later on the cortex. It is a very beautiful yet sad story. If only Jayne hadn't forgotten about his bird."

"Hey, Lil' Albatross," Mal said, causing her to turn to him. "D'you cry cause of what Wash said about...the uh, wine?"

She shook her head. "She made herself sad. Thought of things that should not bother her, things that cannot be changed. The bats all woke up and startled her. Brushed away the cobb webs and dust."

"Okay..." Mal said slowly, trying to proccess what River had just said. River frowned at him and sighed heavily.

"Huh," Wash muttered as he thumbed through the novel River had handed him. "This really _is_ about Jayne!"

"Lemme see it," Jayne said, reaching towards the book. Wash jerked it away from his grasp possessively, "I'd tell you to wait you're turn, but it's River's book and if she says you can read it, then you can. However, I don't believe you're old enough."

They all stared at him, dumbstruck, until someone suddenly burst into laughter, full, warm, genuine laughter. All eyes turned to River, who was again crying, this time from amusement. River's laughter shocked Jayne for merely a moment as he tried to process how different it was. It was so..._womanly_. He huffed and felt his anger rise as he identified the path his thoughts had begun to turn down and glared heatedly at Wash. "If River's old 'nough ta read that piece o' go se, then I sure as hell am," he snapped, making another grab for the book. Wash rolled his eyes. "I'll let you read it when you find your bird. Go play with your guns and stuff your face some more."

River began to laugh even harder. "Oh my. Oh, dear."

Wash cracked a grin at her. "You know, you're not such a moonbrain after all, kid."

* * *

Later that night, after dinner, Wash and River sat up on the bridge, Wash rambling on as usual it seemed. However, if any of the other crew members other than Zoe had stopped to listen they would have realized that Wash was not rambling. He was reading aloud from the book River had given him. He was even going so far as to use different voices for each character that spoke, eliciting tiny giggles from River as she listened. Zoe had to smile. It was as if she was watching an older brother read a bedtime story to his little sister. 

"Wash?" River asked suddenly. "Am I a bird?"

Wash paused in his reading to considered. "You know, I think you are. I think you would make someone a lovely bird."

"Do you think Jayne will find his bird?"

Wash raised his eyebrow. Though Zoe did not understand the underlying message, she understood this conversation was very private and very important by the way both parties were considering their answers and questions intently.

"What makes you think he has a bird?"

"Well, you have a bird, Mal has a bird, and Simon has a bird. It just seems that everyone has a bird, so logically Jayne should have a bird."

Wash seemed to consider this carefully. "That is true, though I don't see what the hell kind of bird Jayne would have..."

River snorted at this. "I agree."

Wash chuckled. "Maybe it's still in it's egg? Maybe his bird hasn't hatched yet."

River froze at this, her eyes widening. Wash stared at her questioningly for a few moments before it seemed to dawn on him. "Huh."

"Huh," River repeated, in disbelief, "your response is 'huh'? But-but-"

"You know, I have been known to be wrong about things, River. Often. The wife points it out to me everyday. Often. It happens _all the time_."

River nodded slowly, "Yes everyone makes mistakes and we have been reduced to mere theories. There are no real facts to go on in the matter."

Wash nodded then added tentatively, "But just so we're clear, this whole bird thing-"

"No," River answered immediately and Wash laughed out loud. "Okay, Kid. I'll finish this chapter and then it's off to bed."

Zoe smiled. Wash would make a wonderful father some day, hopefully some day in the near future. She tip-toed to their bunk, Wash's voice echoing faintly behind her.

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**please review so i know whether or not this is total suckage.**


	2. Charming

**I own nothing**

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River sat on the couch in the mess staring intently at the sketchbook in her hands as she furiously sketched. They were the same pictures over and over. The rest of the crew during the Miranda incident, their different expressions and different things that had happened. Besides spending time surfing the cortex and listening to Wash read the book she had given him, it was all she had done over the past few months.

It was still early and not everyone was up yet, but River, sensing they would soon wake had taken it upon herself to make coffee and while in the midst of her drawing had begun to make breakfast. She moved over to the counter near the sink, next to the stove, sketching as she watched the protein breakfast cook. Careful not to burn herself, she quickly dabbed her finger into and brought it to her mouth for a quick taste. She cringed, though it tasted as it usually did. A light bulb went off in her head when she remembered that they had some of Book's spices in the back of one of the cabinets. She quickly leaned up on the counter trying desperately to reach the top shell, frowning as she did so. "Always think the girl will break and mess things...like an infant. Girl is more an adult than they are," she huffed, growly in frustration, "Girl knows how to cook. Girl is a better cook than all of them."

River leaned farther over the edge of the counter and rose higher on her toes, when she felt eyes on her. She froze and turned her head slowly. Her gaze locked with Jayne's. He lounged against the door frame, smirking at her. "What'sa matter Moonbrain? Too short?"

River frowned at him and turned back to the task at hand. She was so close, her fingertips were merely a millimeter away from the spices.

"It is not nice of Jayne to torment the girl when she has done him a service by making coffee and breakfast."

Jayne raised on eyebrow. "Didn't know you could do that. Bein' you're crazy an' all."

"The girl is not crazy, she is just not always sure of where things are and she has to find them." She growled angrily when she made a grab for the spices and they tumbled farther back into the cabinet. "_Go se_!"

She stepped back her body heaving as she huffed. "Terrible tasting protein as usual it is," she sighed, looking back at the skillet, with the bland powdered substance in it. She grimaced.

"Calm down, Crazy, I'll get it," he said as he strode over and easily reached the small bottles she had been reaching for. He handed them over to her, not even bothering to make eye contact. She smiled her thanks up to him, though she knew he wasn't paying attention and began to pour different amounts of spices into the protein breakfast, testing it as she did so.

"Gorram!"

River turned to Jayne, who was staring down at the cup of coffee he had poured himself with an intense look of surprise. River turned fully to look at him as he looked up at her to find a mask of worry on her face. "What? Is it too strong? What's wrong with it? Did I make it wrong?"

Jayne raised an eyebrow at her worried expression. "No, it's ruttin' amazing! Best pot a coffee this boat's had in a while I reckon'..."

She seemed relieved. "Good, I-" She stiffened. "I said 'I'..."

Jayne frowned. "You been sayin' that a lot lately I noticed."

River's eyebrows rose in surprise. Since when did Jayne ever pay attention to her when he wasn't tormenting her? He seemed to have noticed his slip up and hurried to cover it by saying quickly, "Well, you was sayin' it a lot when ya gave Wash that book the other day, so I just figured you was still doin' it when you wasn't around is all."

River nodded, accepting his explanation for the truth. "Yes, that is a sound deduction for one to make, Jayne Cobb."

Jayne shifted uncomfortably for a while before deciding he would set the table. River followed him as he headed towards the table with a confused expression. "Thank you for helping."

"I'm only doin' it so's you'll make more a that coffee, Moonbrain. Don't think it's cause I like ya, cause I sure as ruttin' hell don't."

River shrugged. "She knows this and she will make more of the coffee, if Jayne will refrain from calling her names so often."

Jayne paused for a moment as if considering and sighed. "It is some damn fine coffee. Alright, Moo-River, I'll stop callin' ya names so much."

River smiled up at him. "Good coffee puts Jayne in a good mood."

"I ain't in a good mood. I'm normal as always, quit bein' s'darn annoyin'."

River rolled her eyes at him as she went back to the breakfast cooking. "You are so grouchy all the time. You really should try finding your bird soon."

"How am I 'sposed ta stop callin' you things like 'crazy' when you talk 'bout birds when there ain't no birds on this boat?!"

"Why are you yelling at me?" She asked, confused. He was being so weird. She was tempted to read him, but it was wrong, something she had promised herself she would no longer do. Jayne's face began to turn red and he yelled, "If I was yellin' you'd know, Moony!"

"No names, Jayne Cobb," she sing songed as she pulled a pan of biscuits out of the oven, "you would not like it if the girl called you names and you certainly wouldn't like it if she stopped making you coffee. So behave."

Jayne glared at her and collapsed in his usual chair. Instead of snapping at her, he asked awkwardly, "Ya need help, girl?"

"No, she is capable of bringing the food to the table just fine." She came to stand next to him after having brought the biscuits to the table and began to serve him breakfast before she could stop herself. Jayne made a face. "What're you doin'?"

"You liked her coffee, she is saying thank you. It is nice to have someone appreciate her efforts and praise her instead of scold her for doing something the believe she is not responsible enough to do on her own," she replied, surprising herself. Jayne frowned. "I din't like yer coffee, I love yer coffee. As far as I'm concerned, yer the only one allowed to make it now. 'Sides you ain't some li'l kid, you're a grown woman-girl...thing. Yer old enough ta do damn well anythin' you please."

River felt herself begin to smile. "If I had known you would be so nice to me because of how I make coffee, I would have started making coffee sooner."

Jayne smirked. "You used 'I' again."

She smiled. "I did," she said as she sat down next to him and looked at the untouched food on his plate. "You going to try my food or let it get cold?"

Jayne rolled his eyes as he forked a sizable bite of it and shoveled it into his mouth, River watching him intently all the while. Jayne's eyes widened and he stared back down at his plate. "Gorram, that is some good stuff. It's as good as my ma's home cookin'!"

River beamed at him, "Really?"

"You are goin' ta make some hun dan a very happy man one day," he moaned appreciatively through bites of his nearly gone meal. River giggled as he continued to groan after each bite. "Hell, I'd marry ya if'n I was the marryin' type...no offense."

She laughed her womanly laugh, and Jayne felt a shiver go up his spine. Odd.

He was in the middle of a particularly loud moan, when Mal, Zoe, and Wash came in. Wash was the first to speak. "Why are you moaning at River like that-"

He sniffed. "Ai ya, what smells so good?!"

"River cooked," Jayne said with a mouthful of food, beaming as he said so, "it's amazin'! You have ta try her coffee, too. I think River should be the ship's cook."

Mal blinked at Jayne several times. "Since when do you smile an' compliment my Lil' Albatross this early in the morning? I mean ever? You never do those things. Are you drunk?"

"He is not drunk," River answered for him, as she continued to watch Jayne eat, trying hard not to laugh, "he merely appreciates the food she has cooked. He believes she would make a good wife for someone some day."

Jayne nodded and to everyone's surprise, including River's began to pile food onto her plate. "Cook should get ta eat, too. 'Fore everyone takes it all."

"Thank you," River stuttered out. Noticing, the biscuits were too far away to reach, she snitched Jayne's biscuit of his plate. He paused and stared at her for a moment before grabbing another one for himself. River slowly began to eat as Mal, Zoe, and Wash lined up at the coffee maker, each pouring themselves a cup. They each took a sip cautiously and Jayne rolled his eyes at them. "She ain't poisoned it er nothin'."

Wash was the first to speak. "Even if she had poisoned it, I would drink it for the rest of my life! This is so good."

Jayne nodded. "I think River should be cook an' coffee maker from now on."

Zoe raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you call her by her name?"

Again, River answered for him. "She made him promise to stop calling her so many names. If he does as she asks, she will make him coffee when ever he asks."

"Way to a man's heart is through his stomach," Mal said in response. River frowned at him. "I am not trying to get to Jayne's heart."

Jayne snorted. "I ain't got a heart."

"Yes, I believe there is another stomach in it's place."

Jayne stared at her hard for a long moment before laughing. River frowned at him. She had not expected that reaction from him. This day was becoming odder and odder by the minute.

"Well, River, I for one am glad you're talking so much now," Wash said, smiling at her. "I finished the book and I believe you should look that movie up now."

"She will later," she said, nibbling on the last of her biscuit. She looked to be deep in thought. "First she must talk to Inara. She has questions."

"What kind?" Wash asked. River sighed. "They're personal."

"River, what did I say about havin' secrets on my ship?" Mal asked as he began to eat. He looked down at his food. "This is good."

"Told you," Jayne said, annoyed at their having ignored him.

"They're not secrets about girl's craziness. They're questions that need answers. Questions that are not any of Captain Daddy's business."

"Ev'rythin' on this boat is my business," Mal said. He raised an eyebrow and stared her down suspiciously. Mal had taken it upon himself to act as River's surrogate father, and as much as he would deny it, he enjoyed the role immensely. River began to pout slightly. "Not Captain Daddy's business," she insisted, "girl is not doing anything bad. She is merely confused and inquisitive about certain things."

"It's the bird thing isn't it?" Wash asked, knowingly. River nodded. "Yes, among other things. I have other questions."

Wash's expression became thoughtful. He cocked his head to the side as he stared at her. "Would it help if I told you that if I weren't married I would take you in a manly fashion?"

Jayne and Mal practically choked on their food, both staring at Wash as if he had grown another head. "What is ruttin' wrong with you?" Jayne yelled, "you don't say that to a woman 'less she asks you if she's pretty er somethin'!"

"Because I'm pretty?" River asked Wash hopefully. He nodded and smiled at her reassuringly. "Because you're very pretty and extremely normal."

River practically squealed at him. "Thank you, Ge Ge Wash!"

Wash beamed at River's sudden term of endearment and Zoe smiled at the way he puffed out his chest with pride. River ran around the table and hugged Wash. "She shall buy you a present to show her gratitude properly."

Mal frowned. "I want a present! I think you're pretty!"

River rolled her eyes at him. "You are such a boob."

Jayne snorted and finished off his meal, "Got that right."

"Hey," Mal yelled at her, "I ain't a boob, just a little...slow is all."

River ignored him. "We are close to Persephone, yes?"

Wash nodded, "About an hour."

She perked up suddenly. "Inara is awake. I shall bring her breakfast and we shall talk."

Before anyone could say anything, she had dashed off with a plate full of food towards Inara's shuttle. Wash glanced over at Zoe, smiling broadly. "She called me 'Ge Ge.' I'm someone's Ge Ge."

"And you're a very good Ge Ge, Husband," Zoe said, trying hard not to laugh. Jayne shook his head and made a face. "You are such a fruit."

"Hey, no need to call names," Wash protested and Jayne shrugged. "Gotta find someone else to pick on since I can't pick on Moonbrain so much."

Wash sighed. "Or you could go find you're bird," he said cryptically.

Jayne rolled his eyes as he headed off toward the bay for his morning work out. "Everyone's crazy. Why do I gotta be stuck with a boat full o' annoying crazies?"

Jayne reached the catwalk and stopped short when he heard hushed voices. It was Inara and River standing in the doorway to Inara's shuttle. As if sensing his presence they quickly disappeared inside. He had to admit, he was mighty curious to know what them two were talking about. His curiousity and growing interest in the crazy girl made him mad and he couldn't help growling as he stomped down into the bay.

River fidgeted nervously as she tried to figure out how to say what she needed to say clearly. Inara offered her a cup of tea and she took it gratefully.

"What is it, mei-mei?" Inara asked gently, "I have noticed the way you have been acting lately. You are confused about something."

"I feel different from how I felt before Miranda," River confided, fiddling with the hem of her dress, "different in a good, but strange way."

Inara patted the spot on the couch next to her. "Sit down Mei-Mei."

River nodded and sat down, sipping her tea. "I feel self-conscious about myself."

"Why?"

River shrugged. "Because I am not like you or Kaylee. I am not as womanly."

Inara raised her eyebrow. "Is that all this is about, River?"

River looked down at her lap. "Yes, I feel stupid for saying so."

"Actually, Mei-Mei, I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time."

River's head shot up in surprise. "Really?"

Inara nodded. "You don't have to say anymore."

"So you are willing to help me become more...womanly?"

"Of course," Inara said, standing. She pulled River up with her. "In fact, I have something for you."

She brought River to a large trunk and unlatched it. "I saw this not too long ago and thought of you," she said, pulling out a long white dress."

Inara smiled at the look of surprise and excitement on River's face. "I've noticed how much you've grown River. Inside and out."

River blushed. "You seem to be the only one."

Inara smiled and nodded, laughing, "Yes, everyone is a bit slow."

River held the dress against her body. Inara asked softly. "If you'd like, once we land, I will take you shopping."

River smiled brightly at her, hope shining through. "Really?"

Inara nodded. "Yes, I would be happy to."

River clapped excitedly. "Really? Thank you! I'm tired of Simon picking out my clothes for me."

Inara laughed. "He is rather terrible at it. He doesn't have very good taste and he tends to buy things that make you look..."

"Like a little girl?" Inara nodded in agreement. River smiled a small smile. "You understand that she is a woman and no longer a little girl. It makes her happy."

Inara merely smiled. "If you'd like, I''l fix your hair and teach you how to put on makeup."

River nodded timidly then scrunched up her face. "As long as you don't make me look like one of Jayne's painted ladies."

Inara burst into laughter. "Of course not. You will look more stunning than you already do."

* * *

They had just finished docking and Jayne had to admit, he was excited. It had been quite a while since he had had some trim and some good whiskey. He adjusted the cap his Ma had made him and stretched. He heard a sudden squeal and fought the urge to roll his eyes. Kaylee was just too damn cheery all the time.

"River, ya look so pretty!" she squealed. Jayne turned around to see what all the fuss was and stopped dead in his tracks. River was blushing as Jayne, Kaylee, Simon, Zoe, and Wash gawked at her. This had to be Inara's work and if he said so, she had done a darn good job.

"You look beautiful!"

"Look at you, you pretty thing. You pretty, normal thing," Wash said proudly. River smiled up at him, beaming. Jayne continued to stare. Her hair wasn't a crazy mess as it usually was. Instead, it was brushed out and straight, curling softly at the ends and for once, her dress fit her. It was a dress Jayne had never seen her wear. Jayne let his eyes run the length of her body. She wasn't so scrawny as he remembered. She seemed to have filled out in places...places Jayne shouldn't be noticing. When their eyes met he realized she was looking up at him expectantly. They all were and it suddenly occurred to him that he was the only one who hadn't said anything. He gestured to his face and then pointed at her. "Ya got that girl stuff on."

She nodded and he nodded back. "Ya look alright, Moony."

Zoe raised an eyebrow at him and Wash smiled as if he were in on some secret the rest of the crew wasn't aware of. Kaylee and Inara wore the same expression as Wash.

"The egg has hatched," Wash declared, eliciting a preturbed look from River.

"Okay," Mal said, as he crossed the bay toward the group. He noticed River's altered appearance immediately. "Huh, you look mighty fancy."

"Ain't it shiny, Cap'n?" Kaylee asked, beaming over at her friend, "she's so pretty."

Mal's eyes shifted to Jayne and he frowned. "You ain't seriously thinkin' on wearin' that hat off a my boat are you?"

"What the hell's wrong with my hat?" Jayne asked, clearly more than a little insulted. River patted his arm. "Do not worry, Jayne, I think you look charming."

Jayne smirked, puffing his chest out at the compliment, trying to ignore the fact that River's having touched his arm had made him felt weird. "See, my hat ain't ugly, Mal."

"Since when do you listen to her opinion an' not mine?" Mal asked, acting hurt. Jayne rolled his eyes. "Why should you care? You jealous?"

"No," Mal sputtered indignantly. "I just, you don't like her an' it's all kinds of creepifyin' that you two are gettin' along so well."

"As I said before, she makes good coffee. Gorram, Mal, you're readin' too far inta things."

"It is Captain Daddy's job," River sing-songed. She hugged Mal and he tried to frown, failing miserably. "So paranoid."

Inara laughed. "Come along, Mei-Mei, time for shopping."

River nodded excitedly and Kaylee squealed once more. "Shiny. Wait for me."

Mal rolled his eyes as the three women bounded off towards the different shops. Wash shook his head. "So glad my wife isn't that girly."

Jayne snorted. "Inara and Kaylee may be girl, but River ain't. I mean, she kills Reaver's an' beats people up. How girly is'at?"

"Yes, this is true, but she's still girly, er womany. Whatever you wanta call it," Mal said as they headed toward the bar they were meeting Badger at. There was a distinct hop in Jayne's step. "What are you s'darn happy about?"

"Do you really have to ask, Sir?" Zoe said as they entered the bar. Mal rolled his eyes. "Ah, yes, trim an' alcohol. Well, that'll haveta wait until after our meeting with Badger."

They found Badger in one of the larger booths at the back of the bar. Though he seemed to be alone, the four knew better than to believe such. Badger's men were definitely there. As they all settled into the booth, Badger looked at Jayne and snickered, "Nice hat."

Jayne let the barb slide, instead saying, "Some people happen ta think I look rather charming in it."

Badger raised an eyebrow, but didn't respond, instead turning back to Mal. "I got some property needs moving to some townfolk over on Kerry. You feelin' up to it?"

Mal noticed Jayne tense, but decided to wait until after the meeting to address it. "A'course."

"Good, got some people out there that are willing to pay big for what I'm shipping, and I'm willing to pay a little more than usual to get rid of it."

"I bet it's black market beagles," Wash whispered to Zoe, who couldn't help snickering slightly. Badger stared at the pilot, wondering if there wasn't something wrong with him. Mal sent Wash a warning look, causing Zoe and Wash to straighten up and wipe the grins off their faces. He turned back to Badger and was about to ask him how much he was willing to pay when he notcied that Badger was staring off towards a nearby table. "Ain't that your lit'le friend over there. She done changed since I last seen her. Pretty lit'le thing, she is."

"Who-" Mal broke off when he noticed Kaylee, Inara, and more importantly River sitting at the table, giggling. River took a shot of what was obviously hard liquor and wrinkled her nose, sticking out her tongue. Inara and Kaylee giggled harder.

"What the Gorram hell?"

Zoe sighed. "I'll take care of it, Sir." She sauntered over and Mal, feeling the situation would be resolved shortly, turned back to Badger, who was still eying River intently. Before Mal could say anything, Wash asked in a rather rough voice, "What do you think you're looking at?"

"I forgot you all are touchy when it comes to your women," Badger said, and changed back to the subject of the cargo. They had been talking for nearly an hour when Wash said suddenly, "Uh, Mal, they haven't left."

Mal looked over at him in confusion and Wash pointed over at the table. All four women, were completely drunk and they were attracting lots of attention from the men surrounding them. "This is so not good."

"Since when does River drink?" Jayne asked, fascinated. Wash and Mal stared at him. Wash spoke first. "Who cares, she shouldn't be. None of them should be drunk in here."

"So, River, you started checking out men yet?" Zoe asked. River giggled. "Of course, but have not found one to my liking." She felt so loose, so relaxed. The alcohol clouded her mind and stifled the opressively loud emotions of everyone. It was oddly soothing. "I should get drunk more often," she slurred, holding up her empty shot glass to stare at the bottom of it, closing one eye, as she swayed back and forth. Zoe nearly spit out her drink and let her head fall on the table as she laughed. "Simon is so going to ruttin' kill us!" Kaylee wailed in laughter as she watched River fill her shot glass till it was overflowing, sticking her tongue out in concetration.

That made them all laugh harder. "He's such a priss," River snorted. Kaylee snorted with laughter as well. "He really is!"

Even Inara was laughing hysterically, slamming her hand down on the table. River grabbed a bottle of whiskey off of the serving tray one of the waitresses was carrying and began to chug straight from the bottle. Kaylee gaped at her. "You sure you ain't drank anythin' before?"

River slammed the bottle down and nodded. "First time."

"Ya'll seein' this?" Jayne asked incredulously as he watched River chug from the bottle of whiskey. "Ta ma de," Wash gasped, "she drinks like you."

"Yeah she does," Jayne said, annoyed at how the thought turned him on slightly. Jayne tensed as a young, yet rough looking man approached the table, leaning close to River. River glanced over at the man in amusement while Zoe, Inara, and Kaylee tried to stifle their laughs. He was obviously hitting on River and not doing a very good job as River herself burst into mocking laughter. The young man bristled for only a second, but continued, trailing a finger down the bare skin of her arm. Jayne slammed his hat down on the table and before he could think, he was on his feet, storming towards the table. Zoe and Kaylee were the first to see him coming. Zoe raised an eyebrow and Kaylee's eyes widened. "Sir, I'd stop that if I were you."

"Why?" the young man asked, leering down at River. "She don't mind much."

River began laughing harder. "You're not very bright."

"Oh honey, I'm bright."

"But not bright enough to know you're not getting anywhere with me," she replied, drinking from the bottle of whiskey. He suddenly frowned and grabbed her arm roughly. River stopped, mid drink and turned slowly to meet his gaze, her eyebrow raised. The young man opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when something yanked him up by the throat. "You better not be tryin' ta do what I'm thinkin' you're tryin' ta do, you piece a go se."

River looked up in surprise. Jayne was holding the man up at eye level and the man's feet were dangling in the air. The man looked at Jayne, panic in his eyes as he tried to think of something to say. Jayne's glare deepened. "Well?"

"I was just seein' if she wanted to have some fun-"

"Fun," Jayne repeated, his voice sounding angrier and angrier by the second, "She done told you she din't wanna have any Gorram fun with yer dirty pi gu. Which is why I'm more'n a little concerned with you're touchin' her still."

"I-I-"

Kaylee and Inara looked around nervously. People were staring and the bar had fallen into nearly complete silence. Even Zoe seemed somewhat nervous, but she was quite certain no one would attack because Jayne, she had to admit, was angrier than she'd ever seen him and she also had to admit, it scared her. River however, was watching Jayne intently, her head cocked to one side, no longer seemingly as drunk as before, though all four women had sobered up some once the scene had begun to play out.

"You don't touch her again, Dong ma?" Jayne snapped, "she's off limits."

He tossed the guys aside easily and stepped closer to River, turning to glare at every single man that he had seen looking at her in a more than friendly matter. "What in ruttin' hell are all you hundans lookin' at?! You got a problem?"

Every single person in the bar averted their gaze quickly. Jayne glared down at River. "What do you gotta say for yourself, you ruttin' idiot?"

River smiled, trying to focus on him once more and held out the bottle to him. "Sit."

Inara and Zoe watched in amusement as Jayne did as River told him to, huffing slightly.

"You ought not be here, Moonbrain. You an' Kaylee shouldn't be in a place like this. 'Nara neither. Nothing but a bunch a dirty folk in here," he muttered as he drank from the bottle. River frowned at him, her bottom lip poking out in a pout. "We can take care of ourselves."

"Yeah," Kaylee agreed, forgetting what had just happened in her drunken state.

Inara and Zoe watched Jayne closely, exchanging a quick glance. Jayne rolled his eyes, "Look, you bunch a' drunks, I ain't got no problem with you all gettin' wasted, but I ain't gonna bail you out ev'rytime some lecherous ol' hump comes over an' starts gettin' all up on you."

River smirked defiantly at him. "Who said we expect you to? Who says we want you to?"

Before Jayne could reply, River turned to Kaylee suddenly, swaying back and forth once more as she talked. "Kay..." she hiccupped and Jayne raised an eyebrow. "Kaylee," River said, trying to be serious. Inara and Zoe began to laugh again. Jayne stared at the group. How much had they had to drink? "Kaylee," River said again, as if trying to get her attention, although, Kaylee was indeed paying attention. It was clear that River and Kaylee were the most drunk. Zoe and Inara were close to tears, they were laughing so hard.

River took a deep breath. "Kaylee," she said slowly, then in a quick rush. "is it normal to want to have sex when one is drunk?"

Jayne couldn't help it. That was the last thing he expected River to say. He was aware that his jaw had dropped open in shock, but he couldn't seem to close his mouth. Inara and Zoe were now crying. Kaylee sighed in relief. "An' here I thought I was the only one."

"I'm so glad Inara bought me a toy today," River said, grabbing the bottle from Jayne angrily. "It's not nice to take things from people." She had completely forgotten she had given it to him. "Toy?" Jayne managed to get out. River nodded. She was babbling. "Yes, like the kind Kaylee has. I would go home right now to use it, but my legs are funny for some reason."

"River," Inara hissed, "probably not the best idea to talk about sex in front of Jayne."

River made a face. "Why'sat? We're all adults here."

"Toy?" Jaybe repeated, unable to get past that little tidbit. He didn't know whether he was turned on by the idea of her masturbating or mortified at being turned on. He decided both. River looked at him as if he were an idiot. "Yes, that is what she said. A toy."

She frowned up at him. "Did you buy me a present?"

"Huh?" he asked. He looked around at the rest of them, but they seemed just as confused as him. "What do you want a present for?"

"Because they're nice. I like presents." River bumped into him as another fit of drunken swaying overcame her.

"What the hell is goin' on here?"

The five of them turned to find an extremely annoyed Mal and confused Wash standing next to their table. River fell into Jayne's shoulder and smiled up at them. "Hi!"

"Hi," Mal said slowly. He turned to Inara and Zoe. "You two bein' the most responsible of the group, why is River here, drunk?"

"I'm not drunk," River protested, then promptly turned to Kaylee and whispered too loudly, "I am so drunk!"

Inara and Zoe had been trying hard to look serious, and up until that point had been doing a somewhat decent job. But once River had spoken their faces crumbled and they began laughing. Mal frowned. "Why's this so funny? I don't see what's so funny!" He turned to Wash. "Do you see what's so funny?" Wash shook his head. "Not really, Mal."

Jayne stared down at River, who was trying hard to stop swaying, her hands gripping the table tightly. "I think it's kinda funny. Ain't every day you see the Moonbrain drunk."

"I'm sleepy, but I still want sex," River said and Mal and Wash's faces slowly contorted into looks of horror and disgust as what she had said began to register in their minds. "River, no. Sex is bad. We don't talk about sex," Wash yelped. Mal glared down at her sternly. "You best stop thinkin' that way. Ain't nobody here wantin' to hear you talk about sex-"

"Captain Daddy and Ge Ge Wash are being prude," River groaned, turning to Jayne. "Where is my present?"

Before Jayne could ask what the hell she was talking about, River began to grope at him rather clumsily. He jumped away quickly, and River began to topple over. Jayne grabbed her, steadying her. "Are you ever drunk!"

River swayed into him. "Yes, she is very inebriated."

Jayne rolled his eyes as he lifted her up into his arms, wrapping one arm around her waist as he wrapped the other one under her legs and lifted her with ease. Leave it to River to use big words while drunk. "Let's get you home, Woman."

River lazily, wrapped her own arms around his neck and let her head loll against his shoulder. "You are very strong."

"I'm glad you noticed," Jayne snapped sarcastically, unnerved at the feel of her tiny form curled into his chest. Wash grabbed a hold of Zoe, helping her walk as Mal grabbed onto both Inara and Kaylee.

"Simon is going to be so mad at me," River giggled into Jayne's neck. "I wonder if he'll pass out."

Jayne chuckled. "That'd be fun ta see."

"Mmm," River sighed into his neck, nuzzling him unconsciously. The action made him stiffen slightly. "Quit it, Moonbrain."

River didn't answer. She had already passed out. Jayne groaned. Boy was he gonna have a time of it explaining this to the Doc.

* * *

go se: shit

mei-mei: little sister

dong ma: understand

hun dan: bastard

ge ge: big brother

reviews por favor!


	3. Attraction

**I own nothing**

* * *

River was sketching as usual and everyone was sitting in the lounge together, save for Wash, who was up on the bridge playing with the new dinosaur she had bought him. Wash had asked if she would like to join him, but she had politely declined. She needed to spend time with everyone. Their worrying over her had become frustrating. Mal and Simon were still furious with her for getting drunk and Jayne was avoiding her for some unknown reason. That's why when everyone had settled into the lounge for some silent quality time together, River had jumped on the opportunity to join them.

Zoe and Mal were soon entertaining Kaylee, Simon and Inara with war stories leaving River and Jayne on opposite ends of the couch in companionable silence. River had decided not long after Miranda that she rather liked Jayne. He was completely honest with her while everyone else had always felt the need to coddle her. No, Jayne had expected more of her. He had expected her to become normal, to act normal. He hadn't yelled at Simon to drug her, just make her go away. His thoughts never really pushed on her either. It was nice.

River was sketching furiously and oddly enough, it was a picture of Jayne. He had been the first one she had seen once the blast doors had opened after she had killed all the Reavers. It was one of the most distinct moments she could remember and she wanted to get it right because there had been something in it that River hadn't been able to put her finger on. Kaylee's particularly loud laugh caused River to jump slightly and River glared at the result: a large thick line that wasn't supposed to be there had appeared. River looked around herself for her eraser and frowned when she couldn't find it. She was certain she hadn't left it in her room. Then she saw it, sitting on the table next to Jayne. River groaned inwardly. River knew if she asked Jayne to pass it to her, he would ignore her. He had been ignoring her lately whenever he was unable to avoid her or tired of avoiding her. River quickly crawled over and when Jayne looked up at her with a confused and somewhat wary expression, she was careful not to meet his gaze crawling right into his lap as she leaned over the table to grab the eraser. Jayne sighed in annoyance and lifted his arms so he could better see the magazine he had been reading, quite clearly resigned to the fact that River had crawled uninvited into his lap. The moment he had chosen to raise his arms was the exact moment River had begun to lean over, and, as a result his right arm grazed her breasts slightly. River inhaled sharply and they both froze. Then River felt it. Felt something strong pushing into her mind and before she could think clearly enough to stop it, it was there, clouding her vision with its intensity.

An image of her and Jayne together, his mouth sealed to her right breast while she moaned in pleasure. She could almost feel him touching her there in the very way he was imagining. River's eyes widened and she quickly snatched up the eraser and moved away from him and back to her corner of the couch. Neither one of them looked at one another and River tried desperately to focus on her drawing, pushing the image out of her mind roughly. It was making her feel things. Things River did not want to be feeling. Jayne's own annoyance at his thoughts pushed in on her and River felt some reassurance. Good, she told herself, he should feel bad for thinking of me that way.

She was consumed in her drawing once more, all outside noise forgotten and she shifted slightly, causing her dress to ride up on her calves and slide over her knees as she stretched out further on the couch. The intense feeling hit her once more, stronger than before and more erotic images bombarded her at once. Images of her legs tangled with Jayne's in bed, images of her writhing both above and below him. River could feel her body growing warm and a spike of familiar pain coursed through her body, throbbing. She swallowed thickly, trying with all her might to push the images from her mind until she suddenly realized the reason it wasn't working was that Jayne was no longer the only one fantasizing about the two of them together in bed. The throbbing had reached her stomach and to her utter mortification was settling in between her legs, growing in intensity as it moved. River bit her lip and shifted again in her discomfort. River could no longer tell the difference between the images created by Jayne and the images created by herself. River felt her toes curl and her eyelids grow heavy. She was now completely aroused. How anyone couldn't tell was beyond her. It was worse than any prior arousal she had experienced.

Jayne chanced a glance at River and groaned. She knew. He could tell by the expression on her face. He stared at her from the corner of his eye. River was concentrating on her sketchbook harder than usual, even for her. Her toes were curled in and her knuckles were completely white from gripping the book too hard. The way she was biting her lip was sure to make it bleed. Jayne couldn't help but be surprised. She knew what he had been thinking and it had aroused her. He was sure of it. She jumped up suddenly her eyes closed. Everyone stopped and stared at her for a moment. "I'll be in my room," she muttered, hurrying off. Jayne raised an eyebrow. He knew exactly what she was going to be doing in her room and it only turned him on more. Jayne stood and began stalking off as well. "I'll be in my bunk."

Mal stared after them, confused by their irritation. "Okay..." He turned to Kaylee and Simon. "Was it my story? All I was talkin' 'bout was cows."

Kaylee patted his knee sympathetically. "S'okay, Cap'n."

* * *

They were halfway to Kerry when Mal finally got around to asking Jayne just what had made him tense at the mention of the planet. Jayne tried to shrug it off. "My family's there is all."

"Oh, well, this oughta give you the chance to get to spend some time with em' an' whatnot," Mal said slowly and Jayne tensed further. Jayne crossed his arms over his chest and glared. "I ain't exactly in the mood to be talkin' on my family, Mal."

"No," Mal quipped, "family talks reserved for the heart to hearts we have so very often."

Jayne's glare deepened and Mal continued, feeling the need to further aggravate his already agitated mercenary. "I conjure this little visit to Kerry would be a mighty fine opportunity for your kinfolk to get acquainted with my crew and I'm sure River would love to meet the woman who knitted you that 'charming hat' you're so fond of."

Jayne emitted a low growl just as Zoe wandered up on her way towards the bridge. "Sir, you flirtin' with Jayne again?"

Mal smiled at his first mate. "I can't help it, he's just so charming an' articulate."

"Oh God! Oh, dear, merciful God!"

All three jumped and turned swiftly towards the bridge, their boots thudding on the metal loudly as they made their with haste after hearing Wash's outcry. Zoe's heart was pounding fiercely in her chest. Her fear turned to shock when she found Wash and River on the floor, dinosaurs in hand. River was frowning in disappointment at Wash. "That's all you have to say?"

Wash looked up at her, indignantly. "What do you mean is that all I have to say?! You're Raptor freaking shot me in the gut!"

River sighed in exasperation. "You're not very good at enacting death scenes."

"I think my portrayal of a dying soldier was riveting," Wash exclaimed, becoming more and more offended by the moment. River rolled her eyes, "As someone who has been shot before, ones reaction is not to exclaim in a theatrical tone 'Oh, God.'"

"Well, we are playing with dinos, kiddo, I'd say this calls more for theatrics than authenticity."

"What the Gorram hell is goin' on here," Mal yelled, clearly upset. Wash and River finally looked up from their respective seats on the floor in surprise. Wash opened and closed his mouth for a few moments, attempting to come up with a plausible explanation. Mal put both hands on his hips in what he supposed to be an intimidating pose and glared down at the two in a more than fatherly manner. "Ain't you supposed to be flyin' my ship?"

River made a face. "It's on autopilot," she said matter-of-factly before picking up the stegosaurus. "I wish we could make them hold swords and guns."

Wash picked up his Raptor and held it up closely. "We could make some and tape it to their feet paw things."

Zoe could no longer fight the grin that had snuck its way up onto her mouth and began to laugh silently. Mal turned to her. "Zoe, back me up here."

She shrugged and continued laughing. Mal turned to Jayne and he smirked. "Oh, so I'm supposed to do somethin' 'bout the two kids misbehavin'? Yer the Captain, ain't keepin' crew in line one of the things in your job description?"

"One would think so," Wash said, from his place on the floor as he and River moved the dinosaurs around silently. Zoe collapsed ino the pilot's chair, her laughter slowly subsiding.

"Captain Daddy is not as well versed in the art of intimidation as you are, Jayne Cobb," River murmured as she listened to Wash continue his death scene with vigor.

"Oh, I shall never see my sweet mother's face again. The inhumane tragedy of it all and it is indeed inhuman for I am a dinosaur and not a human!" Wash wailed, causing Zoe to burst into another fit of laughter.

Jayne snorted. "Got to agree with you there, Moonbrain."

"However, because of this he is more attractive to the fairer sex," she continued. The group fell silent and Wash dropped his Raptor with a loud clunk. "Wha..."

Jayne's smirk disappeared and was replaced with an intense glare. "Hey, I'm all kinds of attractive. I been with plenty o' women!"

"This is true also, but how many of them had sexual intercourse with you without promise of payment?" River asked. When he didn't answer immediately she smirked mirroring his smirk. "Her suspicions are confirmed. Jayne Cobb, you do not know the first thing about women."

"I know enough," he sputtered. Mal raised an eyebrow and Jayne felt himself burn with rage. "Well, I do!"

River shrugged and stood helping to gather up the dinosaurs. "She will believe it when she sees it. Women who recieve payment to spend time with you do not count. Just because they act as though they enjoy your company does not mean they do."

"Come down to my bunk later an' I'll show you it ain't a act!"

River snorted. "Jayne, the day you treat me with the utmost respect will be the day I have sex with you."

"Hey, hey," Mal yelled, "there will be no sexin' 'tween the two of you, dong ma?!"

River smiled at her Captain and patted his arm. "You have no need to worry. The day I speak of is not likely to occur."

"Bird in the egg," Wash whispered and River glared at him.

"Yeah, don't worry, Mal. I ain't ever gonna sex up Crazy here. She ain't exactly my type an' she ain't exactly knowin' in the art of pleasing a man!"

"One would think all you'd need is for her to be conscious and willing," River retorted, her proverbial hackles raised. Jayne smelled blood and went in for the kill. "You know, I was just thinkin' the same thing-'cept 'bout you a'course. He'd prolly have to be a nutjob as well, to be wantin' to bed down with someone as whacked outta their gourd as you-"

"Jayne-" Zoe said in a warning tone, but Jayne continued. "-would have to be real crazy. The kind who enjoys havin' a woman who slashes at 'em with knives. Course in your case he would have to be unconscious- you'da prolly been th' one to a knocked 'im out. I wouldn't worry none, Captain Daddy. Ain't nobody ever gonna wanna sex up someone was loopy as her."

"You have moths in your mouth," River whispered in a barely audible voice, her head lowered so as to keep anyone from seeing the tears threatening to spill forth. Her voice cracked slightly. "Moths never turn into butterflies."

Her head shot up suddenly and her eyes were filled with hurt as she stared up at Jayne angrily. "Wash, she is going to go play with Kaylee now. She hasn't played with Kaylee in a long time."

She pushed past himself and Mal and Jayne felt something tighten in his gut. Something that felt nearly identical to guilt. It was unsettling. "That's cuz she's been gettin' somethin' you ain't ever gonna get: sex!" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

By the time River reached Kaylee in the engine room, she was sobbing. When she realized no one else had the ability to make her cry the way Jayne had, she sobbed harder.

"Jayne is nothin' but a big ol' jerk, River!" Kaylee said, hugging her friend close to her, "ain't nobody whoever met him thought otherwise."

River had finally allowed herself to cry freely once she had reached Kaylee in the engine room. "Jayne was not wrong, though. She may never be with someone in that way."

"Honey, there are plenty o' guys who would sex you," Kaylee said reassuringly, "none have just cuz we're out in the black most times an' would you really wanna sex one a the guys we work jobs for?"

River pondered this for a moment. "No, she would rather continue to rely on her toy for all time than have relations with such unsavory persons."

"That's why I ran on batteries long as I did," Kaylee said, grinning her infectious grin, "ain't too many men in our line a work that's worth the effort. Well, that an' my only option was pretty much Jayne an' well...he don't really know how to make a lady feel like a lady."

"He is a boob like Simon and Captain," River agreed. Kaylee nodded and fell back into her hammock, snacking on her protein snaps. "You know, they ain't really had much experience with women like us. Least of all like you bein' as you're so smart an' sophisticated. You're kind of like Jayne in that you're both intimidatin'. 'Cept in different ways. Bet that's why he was so afraid of ya at first. Just didn't know what to make of a girl who intimidated him. That's why he picks on ya so much. Ain't nobody in the whole wide 'verse that intimidates Jayne Cobb, that's for sure. Scares him sure, but I mean, if he's scared a somethin' he just shoots it or avoids it. Like with the Reavers."

"You know an awful lot about him," River said quietly. Kaylee shrugged. "Me an' Jayne used to get on pretty well 'till you an' Simon showed up. Talked about all kinds of things. Or didn't talk, but mostly what I know of him I gathered from what he didn't say. Jayne's just one o' them men that's all kinds of mystifyin'. That's why womenfolk's so attracted to him."

River snorted. "She highly doubts that."

Kaylee sat up. "I mean it. Next time we're dirtside, watch what happens. Women tend ta get all doe-eyed 'round him. He don't take no notice most of the time though. Not sure why. Might have somethin' ta do with him not kissin' em' on the mouth maybe."

"Maybe he doesn't know how to kiss."

River's statement caused Kaylee to burst into a fit of laughter. "Oh, River, I'm sure a man like Jayne's kissed a woman or two afore."

River lay flat on her back, letting the cool metal lick the exposed flesh of her legs and shoulders. "This may well be true."

She was quiet for a long moment before she asked softly, "Kaylee, what's kissing like?"

"Oh, it's different with each person. Some people's are just downright terrible at it an' others...well, it's like magic."

River's eyes glazed over in thought. "How so?"

"Gee, I don't know if I can describe it...it's just one o' them things. Like explodin' into a million sparks that burn every inch of you an' your inside start to achin' but in this good way that hurts so much you want it to stop but you know if it does you'll feel empty an' then after a while you wonder how you went without ever bein' kissed like that. There ain't nothin' in the 'verse like a good kissin'."

"A star bursting," River whispered. Kaylee peaked over the edge of her hammock at her, "Huh?"

River shook herself out of her daze. "Is sex just as good?"

Kaylee scrunched up her face. "Sexin' is great an' all. In fact, its nearly the best darn thing in the 'verse, side from my girl here," she said, patting Serenity's hull, "but even it's no match for a kiss. Well one o' them kinda kisses. I'm sure that's what heaven's like-the feelin' you get when you get a kiss like that."

"I hope I get kissed like that some day."

"Girl like you surely will," Kaylee giggled, nudging River's leg with her foot, "hell if I was sly, I'd kiss ya."

"I'd like ta see that."

The two of them stiffened and turned to see Jayne lounging in the doorway. River's lips were drawn into a thin line of disgust. "What do you want?"

"Coffee pot's empty."

River sat up slowly and blinked in disbelief. "After what you said to me earlier, you expect me to make you more coffee?"

Jayne didn't answer and River threw Kaylee a pleading look. Kaylee glared at him. "You are a mean, stupid, ol' man, Jayne."

"I ain't old!"

"Well you sure are plenty mean an' stupid," Kaylee snapped, "fix your own Gorram coffee an' get your dirty pi gu outta my engine room."

Jayne began to pout slightly. "It ain't my fault she got her feelin's hurt. She ruttin' started it, you know, an' I was merely standin' up for myself."

"But you din't have ta say what ya said, Jayne. Ain't her fault that you're just as bumbling when it comes to women as Simon is-"

"Hey," Jayne warned, pointing at Kaylee, "I ain't nothin' like the Doc."

"Boob," River muttered, turning back to stare at the ceiling. Jayne huffed. "I ain't a boob. Why you bein' so Gorram difficult? I ain't been that mean to you!"

"You made her cry!" Kaylee yelled. River gaped at the mechanic. "Kaylee!"

Kaylee clamped a hand over her mouth. "It slipped, River."

"You cried?" Jayne asked, scrunching up his face. River turned away. "She overreacted and let her emotions get the best of her and-"

"See, this is why I don't spend more time with women than need be. They cry an' make a fuss outta nothin' an' I'm supposed to follow 'em aroun' after I made em' cry an' give 'em candy an' kisses. No, Jayne Cobb, don't coddle nobody," he said and though he was glaring at her there was something different about it, "someone hurts your feelin's you get over it right quick."

River tilted her head to the side as she stared up at him. "Why do you really refuse to kiss women on the mouth?"

Jayne bristled and practically bellowed, "That ain't none a your Gorram business, you moonbrained-"

"You're afraid."

Jayne stopped midsentence to stare down at her in shock. She nodded. "Afraid of what could happen, of what the kissing could really mean. Too much responsibility, too much expectation, being let down."

River stood up and stepped towards him. "Nothin' in the 'verse scares you more than a kiss."

He opened his mouth to protest that statement and she shook her head. "She doesn't blame you. It is easier to be alone. However, you do not know yourself. You do not know what you want, so your fear is greater. You should look for your bird. It will help you decide whether or not to grow up."

She smiled up at him brightly, all hurt forgotten and wafted past him. "Thank you for the talk, Kaylee. Kissing may occur soon."

Kaylee squealed. "With who?"

"It is unclear as to who, but it will happen soon."

"Huh?" Jayne asked Kaylee, trying to proccess all that had been said, and then he felt a spark of anger, anger that should not have been there. "An' who are you plannin' on ruttin' kissin'?"


	4. Star Burst

**I own nothing**

* * *

Kerry was nothing like any of them had pictured except for Jayne. Nothing had changed. Everywhere he went people stopped to talk to him, ask him how he had been, if he'd seen his ma yet. When they walked into the bar, a chorus of greetings met his ears and for the first time all day, Jayne felt at ease.

"Jayne Cobb," the bartender hollered, gesturing for him to come over. He smiled broadly, "Ain't seen you in over...what? Ten years? Awful long time. What brings you back?"

Jayne shrugged, turning to watch as Zoe, Mal, and River walked towards their client. "Business and it's probably about time for me to drop in on my ma so's she knows I ain't dead yet."

"Who's the girl? Awful pretty," Bartender raised an eyebrow, "she'yain't with you is she?"

"No, why?" Jayne asked, taking the glass of whiskey offered to him.

"Derickson's boy's eyin' her. Din't want im' gettin' his head knocked in fer it," Bartender smiled and handed over a full bottle of whiskey. "On the house, kid."

"Thanks," Jayne grunted, as he stared down the man who had been eying River. The bartender frowned. "Thought you said she ain't yours, Cobb" he called after Jayne rather loudly, causing everyone to turn to stare at Jayne. Jayne continued to glare at the man. "She ain't, but it don't mean I want em' lookin' at her!"

Jayne sat down heavily next to River, who was staring up at him with a rather confused expression. "So grumpy today."

Jayne just grunted in response and slid the glass of whiskey toward her. She continued to stare at him as she sipped from the glass. River resumed reading, barely aware of Jayne, who was periodically glancing at her from the corner of his eye. Several men in the bar were thinking of her and Zoe in a sexual manner. Their client, Mr. Paulson, was busy thinking of how he never thought he would live to see the day that Jayne Cobb would return to Kerry and with a _woman_. River was aware that she had paled some by the way Zoe and the Captain were eying her. "You okay, girl?" Jayne asked, nudging her with his elbow.

"Give me another shot," she managed to choke out and Jayne readily obliged, refilling her glass each time she downed it.

"River is everything okay?" Zoe asked. River nodded, the whiskey filling her with a fuzzy warmth. "Everything is fine."

"I think she's drunk," Jayne snorted. River shook her head. "No, merely relaxed."

"If it ain't my favorite customer," someone purred, and River turned to see a tall, buxom, blond staring down at Jayne as if she were cat ready to pounce. River didn't miss the flicker of lust in her eyes. Maybe there had been some truth to what Kaylee had said. In a matter of second there was an entire gaggle of working girls surrounding the table. Zoe raised an eyebrow and asked caustically, "Gee, Mal, you think Jayne came here often?"

"You kiddin' me," Paulson exclaimed, "that man practically lived here an' I'm more'n a bit sure half the time he didn't even get charged-"

"Ladies, I'm a little busy at the moment. Maybe later," Jayne muttered, seemingly uncomfortable with all the attention-something highly uncommon.

"You are acting oddly today," River whispered, leaning in to him.

"I'm actin' perfectly normal," Jayne whispered back heatedly, to which River replied, sarcastically, "yes, you often defend my honor and turn down trim. How could I have thought otherwise? You are a contradictory man, Jayne Cobb."

"How's that? An' I wasn't defendin' yer honor. Jus' I know these people an' they ain't the kind you wanna go aroun' kissin'."

River's eyes widened in surprise. Jayne was jealous. Something in her chest tightened and spasmed suddenly and without thinking, River grabbed hold of something under the table, bracing herself against the unfamiliar feeling, inadvertently grabbing onto Jayne's hand. They both froze, stiffening. Neither one turned to look at the other but instead continued to stare straight ahead, unable to move from shock. River was unsure of what to do. For some unknown reason she was unable to make herself let go of Jayne's hand. She decided she needed a drink and grabbed the bottle from in front of him and took several large gulps, causing her eyes to burn. As she pulled the bottle away from her lips, Jayne tore it from her hands and mirrored her actions, downing nearly the entire bottle himself. River swayed into him slightly, her head falling against his shoulder. Now she was close to drunk. It still didn't explain why her hand felt like it was enveloped in searing, cold fire. River, pulled herself up slowly. Her head was swimming from sensory overload and an odd, calming warmth was filling her. It was unlike the time she had been drunk at the bar on Beaumonde. She had felt dizzy and warm, but a lot less clear. River leaned back into the cushion of the booth and began to slowly move her hand away from Jayne's. The cold fire had begun to inch its way up her arm and as her hand finally began to separate from Jayne's, something unexpected happened. Jayne grabbed a hold of her hand, gripping it tightly in his. He had felt it, she was sure. Whatever it was, he had felt that cold fire as well, only he had been able to admit he liked the feel of it, however confusing it was.

"The bird in the egg," River whispered to herself, in surprise. "Wash was right."

Mr. Paulson continued and River was finally brought back to the conversation and out of her curious ponderings of the complex relationship that was developing between herself and Jayne.

"Ever since that whole Miranda thing it's been harder and harder to get medicine on rim planets an' moons that ain't been showin' what parliament considers loyalty," he said sadly. Mal nodded. "That's Alliance for you."

"You may be smugglers, but you're a sight better'n what most is-honest folk really," Mr. Paulson continued, "Reckon lot a folks on different moons an' whatnot'll be needin' yer services."

"Take it we'll be pullin' off some Big Damn Hero type go se?" Jayne muttered absently into his glass as he tried to pull himself together. He was still holding River's hand, to his chagrin.

"We will," River said with certainty, "Captain Daddy is noble though he hides it well."

"Maybe we should pull more jobs like the one back on Ariel, Sir," Zoe suggested and when Mal gave her a look, she added quickly, "minus the whole Jayne turnin' in River an' Simon bit."

"We would make more profit," River encouraged. "And Jayne is no longer as unpredictable."

"I can defend myself, thanks," he snapped, finally able to relinquish his hold on her hand. River frowned up at him. "You are cloudy again."

"An' yer still crazy, who gives a good Gorram?!" He rolled his eyes and addressed Mal, "Look, I ain't gonna get stupid again. 'Sides, if I did, I'd only turn in the pansy-ass Doc, but his feng le sister would pitch a fit an' slice me up again, so chances a that'r slim."

River nodded. "'Tis true."

Zoe watched the two with narrowed eyes once more. Though River had begun talking more, she had stopped reading the crew members. Her siding with Jayne meant she trusted him. This struck Zoe as odd. Neither she nor Mal trusted Jayne and whenever Zoe brought up the fact that Jayne and River had been acting more amicably around one another to Wash he channeled River in his mumblings about birds.

"Why you lookin' at us funny?" Jayne snapped at the first mate and she fought the grin sneaking its way up onto her lips. Jayne had been more than a little defensive as of late. Zoe shrugged in response. Something told her things on Serenity were about to get a sight more interesting.

Jayne's mother was just as River had pictured her: outspoken, warm and welcoming. Her blue eyes shone brightly as she fussed over her eldest son. "My boy done finally come home!"

"Hey, Ma," Jayne greeted as he hugged her to him. River watched the exchange from her place behind Zoe and Wash. Meeting Jayne's family made her nervous for some unknown reason. Meeting people in general was a nuisance for on initial contact it was hard to keep their emotions and thoughts out as there was no way to gauge the force with which they projected them. However, for once, River was concerned with what they thought of her and this frightened her.

"Kinda brought some folks with me."

"Oh, tain't nothin' ta worry on. I been wantin' to meet them goin' on a while now. You know that," she said, smacking his arm roughly. She turned towards everyone. "Well, who'm I lookin' at, son?"

River drew back further, subconsciously burrowing her face into Wash's back. Wash reached a hand around and patted her back as did Zoe.

"...this here's Kaylee, our mechanic, an' that there's Wash an' his wife Zoe. He's the pilot an' she's Mal's firstmate an'...where'd the Moonbrain go?"

Wash moved to step aside and River followed. Wash looked pointedly at Jayne and gestured behind himself and Zoe and then shrugged. Jayne frowned and pushed Wash aside, grabbing River. "Quit bein' loopy an' come meet my Ma."

River breathed in heavily and once Jayne turned towards his Ma, she ducked behind him. "Ma-"

Jayne growled and turned quickly picking her up in his arms, "would you settle down?!"

"She is very nervous and everyone is being loud," she whispered as she hid her face in the crook of his neck. Jayne rolled his eyes. "I'm the only one talkin'."

"They are loud. Nail driving into wood, Jayne. Hammer hitting harder and harder!"

Jayne considered it for a second before saying in a loud, gruff voice, "Everyone stop thinkin'!"

They all stared at him as if he had gone mad. River looked up and around for a moment. "They stopped," she said in wonder. For the first time in a long while, all River felt was a faint hum of confusion, something she could deal with easily.

"Jayne, I think you can put 'er down now," Mal said curtly, staring his mercenary down suspiciously. River slipped out of his arms slowly and made to move around behind him again, when he caught her firmly by the shoulder. "River this is my Ma."

River looked up slowly. Jayne's Ma stared down at her, smiling broadly with a knowning smile only a mother has.

"Ma," Jayne said in a voice filled with inexplicable pride, "this is River."

"Hello," River said in a small voice. His mother hooted with delighted. "I done heard more 'bout you than any other person here!"

"Ma!" Jayne howled in embarrassment and anger, but she ignored him and began to fuss over River in as much the same way she had fussed over Jayne a few minutes earlier. "You are just the prettiest little thing I done seen in a long time. You're so itty bitty. Hard ta' believe you can keep Ja-"

"Ma," Jayne interrupted, becoming more and more agitated. He did not want River knowing he had complained to his Ma about her being insane, though he couldn't for the life of him understand why his Ma was actin' as if it were a compliment. You didn't bad mouth people to your family if you liked them and he had not liked River at the time. Hell, he still just barely liked her. He turned to River. "I ain't said nothin' 'bout you other'n yer crazier'n hell."

"Jayne Cobb," his mother hissed hitting him hard in the stomach, "you behave while you're in my home an' that means no more teasin' an' pickin' on her."

She turned back to a stunned River and wrapped her arms around her. "Now let's hurry on in so's you can meet everybody."

"Ma'am-"

"No, no, you just call me Ma-"

"But you told everyone to call you Mrs. Cobb-"

"Well, you call me Ma. I'll have it no other way," she insisted and River smiled. "I like you, you're warm and happy and full of love."

"Oh, ain't you just the sweetest thing ever!"

Jayne groaned though it came out as more of a growl as he trudged by the rest of the group, ignoring their questioning glances. "Ta ma de!"

"Bird in the egg!" Wash exclaimed, laughing as he clapped Jayne on the back.

River stopped short on the porch and looked around fearfully. "Too loud. Too much," she cried, clutching onto Mrs. Cobb's arm.

"Jayne, River's havin' a spell."

Jayne growled again. "Knew this wasn't gonna be easy," he muttered as her swung River up into his arms and kicked open the door to the house, causing everyone gathered in the front room to stop what they were doing. "Now shut up, an' quit thinkin' on what yer thinkin' on or I'll skin the lot of ya. Don't need Moony here slicin' me up cause yer makin her head hurt."

Everyone in front of and behind Jayne stood in complete silence until River slowly looked around, her eyes wide. She leaned back against Jayne. "You have a large family."

"Sure do," he said as he set her down gently. River continued to hold on to Jayne arm, burrowing into his side slightly. "They're waiting for you to introduce her," she whispered up at him. "Her who?" Mrs. Cobb asked.

"When she gets nervous or people's thoughts are pushin' in on her too much she uses 'she' an' 'her' instead o' 'I'."

"How did you know?" River asked incredulously and Jayne rolled his eyes. "We been livin' on the same Gorram boat for almost two years. I noticed some things. That bein' one of em'."

She raised an eyebrow. "What were the other things?"

Jayne ignored her and instead addressed the group of people before him. "Everyone, this is River. River, this is my brother Sam, brother David, sister Amy, sister Susie, cousin Becky, cousin Nick, cousin Jenny, cousin Bobby, uncle Jim and my aunt Mary...where's Matty?"

"He left about six months ago after he got better. Sends his credits home every month like you do," his sister, Amy said. Jayne frowned, but introduced the rest of the crew. River noticed several kittens playing on the floor and sat down in the middle of them, picking up a bright orange one. "I have never held a kitten before," she marveled, pressing her nose to it's small pink one.

"You gotta be kiddin' me," Kaylee exclaimed and Simon, who was beside her shook his head. "Our parents wouldn't allow us near animals. They considered them filthy creatures."

River nodded and said in a mocking voice, "proper young men and women refrain from fraternizing with lower creatures, including those who are rim-born."

River snorted. "Father was an ignorant pigheaded jackass and mother was nothing more than a simpering fool."

Simon sighed at River's harsh words. "River wanted a cat and they wouldn't let her have one. She tormented them incessantly after that."

Jaybe laughed. "Sounds like they deserved it to me."

"Me too," Kaylee said indignantly, "Don't see what's so wrong with bein' from a rim planet."

"I like rim-borns better, Kaylee," River said reassuringly, "they don't try to stick needles in my eyes or cut into my brain."

Jayne's family gasped collectively, but River didn't seem to have heard them. River held up one of the kittens to Kaylee, smiling excitedly. "And they have cats!"

Everyone was silent until Jayne burst into a fit of laughter. Mal gawked at him. "Why'sat funny?"

Jayne shrugged, grinning. "Just is, Mal, just is."

"And no core bred man would look half as charming in that hat as you do," River giggled up at Jayne, causing his eyes to widen slightly. Mal slowly slid his gaze back to River. "Please tell me you ain't flirtin' with my merc, Lil Albatross."

"Tellin' the truth ain't hardly flirtin', Mal," Jayne said, smirking at him, "I do look charming in my hat."

"Um, Mei-mei," Wash called to River, sensing Mal's irritation, "did you find that movie on the cortex?"

River looked up from the kitten she was busy cooing over and shook her head. "The ones I have found are not as accurate as I would like them to be. I promise to keep searching."

"What movie is it?" Kaylee asked. River smirked up at Kaylee, glancing at Jayne with a twinkle in her eye. "It's about Jayne."

"Someone made a movie 'bout my boy an' I ain't heard about it?"

Jayne rolled his eyes. "No, Ma, River found some book from Earth-That-Was an' she thinks it's about me. Her an' Wash think it's a hoot to make fun o' me for it."

Wash held up his hands. "I never said it was a hoot, I thought it. There is a distinct difference."

"Well, what is it?" Kaylee asked curiously. River shook her head. "Wash and I can't tell you. Jayne needs to figure out what to do about his bird."

"A bird," Jayne said, frowning at her, "what's all this bird talk? An' why you gotta talk in riddles, woman? Ain't fair, ya know. I ain't no good at riddles."

"Well, if you knew what to do about your bird, you would understand, silly." She set the kitten down and it mewed at her, pawing at the hem of her dress. "Does he have a name," she asked, looking up at Jayne's family. David raised an eyebrow at her as she stretched out on the floor on her stomach, kicking her legs up in the air. "Um, uh...no."

River looked up at Mrs. Cobb beseachingly. "May I please name him?"

Before she could answer Mal cut in. "No, no, no cats! No cats on my boat!"

The kitten had crawled up onto River's back and had been in the process of crawling on top of her head when Mal yelled at her. Both the kitten and River had turned to look up at him. The kitten hissed and Mal's eyes widened. "No."

Mrs. Cobb whacked Mal on the back of the head and Inara began to snort with laughter. "You don't yell at her!"

She smiled down at River. "You can have him if you want an' if Mal won't let you take him with you, we'll keep him here."

"My very own cat," River smiled up at her brother excitedly. "Simon, I finally have a cat."

"It ain't comin' on my boat!" River didn't even bother to look up at him. "Captain Daddy, you are such a boob."

Kaylee and Inara snorted as Mal opened and closed his mouth several times while Jayne introduced everyone. They all settled down in the den to talk. Mrs. Cobb settled into her favorite chair and promptly began to knit. Kaylee and Wash settled down on the floor with River to play with the kittens and Inara, Zoe, and Mal settled down with Jayne's Aunt and Uncle and began to discuss their distaste for the alliance, drawing both Simon and Jayne into the conversation soon after.

"Slightly!" River exclaimed, poking the kitten, as he batted at a ball of yarn next to Mrs. Cobb's chair. "I shall call you Slightly."

"Slightly?" Kaylee wrinkled her nose. Wash smiled. "I think it's a fitting name, mei-mei, very fitting."

"So, River, you and your brother are from the core?" Susie asked. Her eyes, like the rest of the Cobb clan, were as blue as Jayne's. River nodded. "It was a very stuffy place to grow up."

"There must have been something nice about it," Susie said hopefully. River nodded. "Yes, we went to ballets and operas often. That was my favorite part."

"What about the boys?" Susie asked, drawing Jayne's attention to the group. River propped her chin up on her hand and kicked her feet back and forth slowly. "I guess they were okay, but they were immature and snobbish."

"I bet. Us rim boys is a lot more fun," David said, grinning down at her rakishly. River's face turned red in embarrassment and discomfort. Jayne looked over to David and noticed his eyes following the curves of River's calves and he suddenly understood why River had become so uncomfortable. Without thinking, Jayne whacked him in the back of the head hard. "You quit that an' stop thinkin' on her like that!" He snarled.

"Ow," David whined indignantly, "that really hurt!"

"I'll do more'n hurt you if you do it again, dong ma," Jayne snapped, crossing his arms, angry not only at David, but at himself for his reaction. Since when did he care about whether or not someone was thinkin' dirty on her. Hell, he did it plenty of times. Maybe it was about the time he started holdin' hands with her under tables like a Gorram schoolboy or about the time he realized she was woman instead of a girl. Still no girl-woman-thing was supposed to be muckin' up his brain with their whatever it was done mucked up his brain. When he looked up, River was staring at him with a clouded expression. Jayne realized suddenly she had sensed his discomfort and tried to shrug at her, though it came out as more of a jerking motion. She stood suddenly and disappeared into the kitchen. A large bottle of whiskey came sailing through the air towards him from the kitchen and Jayne caught it without even looking. He downed half the bottle before saying to the silent occupants of the living room, "Think it's 'bout time we all got good an' drunk."

Amy, Sam, and David hooted, the latter slapping his knee while yelling, "bought time, Jayne!"

River emerged from the kitchen carting two apples and several bottles of whiskey. "There is fresh coffee in the kitchen for anyone who prefers it."

"You would be one of those people," Mal said sternly, "you've had enough alcohol-"

"Captain Daddy, you are being a boob," River sighed, "go pester Inara."

Wash stepped forward, clapping his hand together. "River, bao-bei, I'm going to have to agree with Mal."

"River, drinking in your condition is not wise," Simon began and Jayne cut him off. "An' what condition's that 'xactly?"

Simon opened his mouth to answer, but Jayne didn't let him finish as they all walked outside. "Last time River was drunk she acted like every other drunk. Don't see how a little drinkin' would hurt her."

"You two have been gettin' awfully friendly," Mal said as the three of them followed the other men out to the middle of a field. The others had begun to pile up up wood in preparation for the bonfire. Jayne lit a cigar and puffed as he listened to Mal's not so subtle warning. "If'n your thinkin' on doin' anythin' shouldn't be done with my Li'l Albatross, so help me, Jayne-"

"She ain't a li'l kid, Mal, an' I ain't plannin' on doin' nothin' to her," he said as he grabbed a log and threw it onto the pile easily. Mal frowned. "Well, just so's you know-"

"Yeah, I got it," Jayne grunted as he lit the bonfire, "airlock."

Jayne turned as River, Kaylee and his sisters walked up, all giggling. River tossed him an apple and he caught it, nodding his thanks. Susie whispered to Amy and Kaylee and they looked at him, giggling. Jayne eyed Susie suspiciously, "Don't be puttin thoughts inta people's heads, Susie. 'Specially ones that ain't true."

"Who says they ain't?" She asked teasingly and the three giggled as they passed him. Simon who had been following the four girls with Inara and Zoe sighed and shook his head. "Well, it's good to know there's someone else who truly knows the joys of having a little sister."

"Yeah, an' I got two," Jayne agreed. The four of them settled down on a log and began passing around a bottle of whiskey, grousing about their troubles with women as Sam and Jayne's uncle Jim took up a fiddle and a guitar and began to play. Within an hour, the four of them were good and drunk and their complaints had turned into rants as they all watched the women dance around and laugh. Mrs. Cobb had somehow gotten the word out about their little celebration before coming out to the bonfire and people from town had slowly poured in.

"You Cobbs sure know how to throw a party," Wash slurred as he tried to focus on Zoe, who River had somehow managed to convince to dance with her. "My wife is dancing. And giddily, mind you. I didn't know she could be giddy."

"I didn't either, Wash, an' I knowed 'er longer than you so don't feel bad," Mal said reassuringly, slapping Wash on the back a bit too roughly in his drunken state, "'sides, she's a woman an' they tend to do things like that. They act giddy an' when you don't think they can't act giddy they actually can; they just hide it. They are very good at hidin' things from you."

"An' they expect you to know things without them saying them, an' they're always right," Wash grumped, "an' they get you to do things you don't wanna do..."

"Ah, yes, the crying and pouting," Simon nodded, wincing as he took another sip from the nearly empty third bottle of whiskey, "Kaylee does that all the time. As does, my dear, sweet little brat of a sister."

"Your sister is the worst of em'," Mal muttered, glaring up at her across the fire, "worse'n Inara. An' if she thinks I'm lettin' 'er take that ruttin' cat on my boat, she's wrong."

Jayne howled with laughter. "Mal, you know she's takin' it. You can't say no to her any more'n the Doc can."

"Can too," Mal said resentfully, "an' I will, just you watch!"

"You four look like you're having fun." They all looked up with somewhat dazed expressions as Inara stared down at them in amusement. "You four are the only drunks here not dancing."

"An' we're keepin' it that way," Mal said with a smirk. "An' I don't dance unless I'm drunk enough," Jayne added, "an' I ain't drunk enough."

"I can't feel my legs." Wash turned to Simon. "Can you feel my legs?"

Simon leaned over Mal's lap, causing Mal to tumble off of the log and onto his back. "Yes, I can feel them."

Jayne pointed at Mal's prone form and cackled gleefully. Simon and Wash followed his gaze and burst into laughter as well. Mal laughed up at them. "I fell down."

"Yes," Inara said, trying hard not to laugh, "you did indeed fall down."

"Sir, why are you laying on the ground," Zoe asked as she broke away from the group of dancing people.

"I fell," came his response from the other side of the log. Wash looked up at his wife, his expression a mixture of worry and amusement. "I can't feel my legs."

"I can," Simon said, raising his hand and then poking Wash's knee to demonstrate, causing the four men to break out into laughter once more.

River came up to stand next to Inara and frowned. "I brought you another bottle, but I'm not so sure you need it."

"River!" Someone yelled over the laughter and singing and she turned to look for who had called her. She shoved the bottle towards her brother. "I promised Nathaniel a dance."

Mal scrambled over the log clumsily. "Nathaniel? Who's Nathaniel? Who said you could dance with him?"

"I did," River groaned, rolling her eyes, "you are all such boobs."

"No, no dancing with boys," Wash said in his best authoritative voice, "boys are bad."

River rolled her eyes once more and disappeared through the flurry of twirling couples. Mal glared up at Inara and Zoe. "Who's Nathaniel?"

"A very nice young man," Inara assured him. Zoe slid her gaze towards Jayne, who was busy searching the crowd of faces for River from his seat on the log. "An' he's taken quite a shine to River. Apparently, he thinks she is very pretty and wants to court her."

Jayne's head snapped back to her. "How'd'you know that?"

Zoe tried hard not to smile. "According to River he thinks too loudly."

"Court her," Wash practically cried, "court her?" He grabbed Mal's shoulder. "No, Mal, she can't. We're not ready for her to be courting people!"

"We aren't," Zoe asked, trying to be as serious as possible. Simon put his head in his hands. "Oh God, I think I'm going to be sick. My mei-mei and boys."

"Don't worry, Doc," Jayne said gruffly, patting his shoulder, "River ain't gonna go for some scrawny little-"

"Who said he was scrawny and little?" Inara asked and all four men's heads shot up to look at her. Inara jerked her head in River's direction and all their eyes shifted. River was laughing and dancing with a very tall, muscular boy who looked to be a little older than herself. Simon groaned. "He's a Neanderthal!"

"She's laughing!" Wash yelled in abject horror. Mal's mouth was hanging open. "This is not happenin'. Why is this happenin'?"

"What do we do, Mal," Wash asked, sounding helpless, "he's really really big and I don't do well against big men. I bruise easily. Not to mention, you might get shot..."

"Oh, good Lord, I'll handle it," Jayne growled, "shouldn't be dancin' with none o' these hun dans anyways."

Jayne stood slowly and was more than prepared to approach the situation as calmly as possible, though he was indeed seething inside for someone odd reason, when Nathaniel pulled River a little closer than he liked and something in him snapped. His slow, lengthy strides morphed into heavy, swift ones as he stormed towards the pair.

"You," he snarled, pointing at the boy, "are done dancin' with her."

"Who are you?" Nathaniel asked, clearly more than a little preturbed that he and River had been interrupted. River sighed up at him. "He is Jayne Cobb."

"Oh," Nathaniel said, slowly backing away. Jayne nodded. "Yeah, 'oh'," he snapped grabbing River's hand and tugging her into him possessively. "This here is mine, not yours."

River blinked up at him. "Yours."

Jayne didn't look at her, and tightened his grip on her arm as he continued to stare down the boy. "Mine."

"I think I'm drunk because I believe I heard you say something about my being yours and you don't like me-" She was cut off as Jayne began to pull her through the crowd roughly and away from the bonfire, grabbing the nearest bottle of whiskey, "Jayne, what-where-she doesn't understand!"

"Oh, cut that out, I ain't mad, no need ta go all crazy on me," he snapped at her as he practically dragged her towards the house. He stopped abruptly near the side of the house, causing her to stumble forward and she threw her hand out to catch herself, landing against the side of the house with a slight thud and turned to look at him, slightly frightened. His eyes were filled with confusion and anger.

"I lied, I'm ruttin' madder'n hell," he bellowed slamming his hand against the wall right next to her ear, causing her to yelp in surprise. "You been runnin' around all womanly fer the past three months makin' me think on ya more'n I should, makin' me wanna touch ya an' then ya got me holdin' yer Gorram hand an' fawnin' over ya like every other feng le person on the Gorram ship. What's that about huh? You tryin' ta drive me crazier'n you are?"

"I-she-"

"Just stop it, just whatever yer doin' ta me stop it!" He pound his hand against the wall again and River jumped.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Why?" Jayne asked, his voice suddenly soft and quiet, his left hand coming up to trail down her neck slowly, "why are you makin' me wanna do things I shouldn't be wantin' ta do?"

River felt her breathing quicken and her heart begin to race. Something was happening, something was changing. River let out a stifled moan as Jayne ran his thumb across her lower lip and he growled, swearing as he lunged forward and let his lips come crashing down on hers. River's eyes closed instantly and fisted her hands into Jayne's shirt, jerking him up against her body tightly and he groaned into her mouth, letting his full weight push into her. The searing cold fire burst through her with an intensity River never knew existed and she let out a small, strangled cry, startling Jayne and he began to pull away until River's hand came up to curl around his neck. Jayne pushed back up against her, pulling her leg up and around his waist, letting his rough, calloused hand run the length of her smooth upper thigh. River felt dizzy, and her mind was swirling in a dark pool of electricity and fire. River was vaguely aware of her hand moving up under Jayne's shirt and her nails raking down his back roughly as she bit down on his lower lip hard. Jayne growled deep in his throat, biting her back just as rough and she moaned in pleasure, pushing back against him as he pulled her up further and she wound her fingers in his hair, trying to pull him closer though she knew it was impossible for him to be any closer than he already was.

They pulled away slowly, both dazed and Jayne let his head fall onto her shoulder, burying his face in her neck as he heaved heavily. Somehow Jayne's shirt had been pulled off and disappeared into the shadows of the surrounding night. She felt him inhale and exhale deeply and he whispered into her neck, "You smell like pears. My favorite smell." There was something in the way he said it that made River's insides ache. "You kissed me. On the mouth," she whispered, wrapping her arms around him tightly. She felt him grin into her neck. "Told ya I ain't afraid of kissin' a woman on the mouth."

"It was like a star bursting."

Jayne pulled away slowly to look her in the eye. "So you thought it was good?"

"I will only say yes if you promise you will kiss me whenever you want or whenever I want you to."

Jayne gave her a lopsided grin that made her heart break and fuse back together simultaneously, repeating the process after completion. "I s'pose I can do that."

"Then I am willing to admit it was better than good."

He straightened, pulling her up with him, and she wrapped her legs around his waist more tightly. "I think we should go inside an' continue this whole kissin' on the mouth thing somewhere more appropriate."

"I am not opposed to the idea."

"Good, cause if'n you was, I wasn't gonna listen t'you anyways," he murmured as he pressed his lips to hers and stumbled through the front door and down the hall towards his old bedroom, kicking the door shut.

* * *

go se: shit 

ta ma de: fuck me

hun dan: bastard

bao-bei: sweetheart

mei-mei: little sister

Reviews are love!


	5. Concept of Ownership

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Jayne hadn't been there when she had woken up and for a moment it felt as though something had clawed through her chest to her heart and ripped it to shreds. Then her eyes focused on the shiny green pear sitting on the pillow next to her. She was surrounded by the strong scent of gun-oil, sweat, cigars, and whiskey and buried her face farther into her pillow, inhaling deeply.

"River, honey are you in there?" Inara called.

"No," she yelled back, burying herself farther into the bed, as door burst open and Inara, Kaylee, Zoe, and Jayne's sisters came barreling in loudly. Kaylee and his sisters were giggling.

River groaned. "There is nothing to tell!"

"We can see that," Zoe quipped, picking up the pear and inspecting it closely. "I didn't get no pears on my pillow when I woke up and I'm married."

River swiped it out of her hands. "Mine, thank you."

Inara pulled something out of her robe and River's eyes widened. "I found this outside."

She grabbed Jayne's tee shirt and shoved it under the pillow. 'It is not like that. We did not-"

"Yeah right, River," Kaylee snorted, "we all saw the way Jayne dragged ya off last night."

"But we did not have sex," River insisted. "we made the stars burst."

"Huh," they all asked and River smiled. "Never kiss 'em on the mouth," she quoted sounding too much like Jayne.

"Jayne Cobb kissed you on the mouth?" Zoe asked skeptically. River nodded and sat up on her knees, "Several times."

"Oh, boy," Zoe sat down on the edge of the bed and said, "that don't sound like our Jayne."

"And Jayne don't just give people things, well besides apples," Kaylee put in and River agreed reluctantly. "Yes, and that time it was because he was bad and he was making up for it."

"Where is Jayne?" Amy asked and River shrugged. "Maybe he is in town getting trim."

"After kissin' ya on the mouth," Kaylee cried indignantly, "Jayne maybe be thick, but he ain't that thick."

River stood, yawning, and frowned at the group. "Tigers do not change their stripes. Why would Jayne change his?"

Kaylee followed close on her heels as they headed down the hall. "Cause he ruttin' kissed ya on the _mouth._"

River merely rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the hope Kaylee's argument ignited inside her. Was it possible. Could a man like Jayne change? Did she really want anything with Jayne? Kissing was one thing, sex and a relationship was another thing entirely. Being ready for a clandestine make out session was not the same as being ready for him to...the images projected of Jayne not long before their arrival on Kerry flashed in her memory and she bit her lip.

"What room you come from?" Mal asked suspiciously.

River rolled her eyes and went straight to the coffeemaker. "Jayne's room. He slept on the floor to make sure I didn't try to sneak out and meet any boys."

"You sneak out to meet boys!"

They all jumped and turned toward the door to find Jayne glaring at her. She smiled. "Nope, I like men."

Seemingly mollified, Jayne sat down and crossed his arms, glaring down at the table. River bit her lip as she watched him pout. "I'm making coffee."

He grunted and stood coming to stand next to her as he waited for her to pour him a cup. River suddenly threw her head back and screamed. "Jayne, spider!"

Jayne rolled his eyes and was about to tease her for being afraid of something that much smaller than her when she launched herself at him, wrapping both her arms and legs around him. "Kill it, kill it, kill it!"

"That?!" Jayne exclaimed staring down at it. "It's small enough to fit in the middle of a teaspoon an' still have room to wiggle."

"Please kill it," she whispered and Jayne stomped on it, while reaching around her to fill a cup with fresh coffee. "Can kill a room full of Reavers, but ya need me ta kill a spider," he muttered as he set her down awkwardly and then settled in his chair, more than a little surprised when River crawled into his lap. "What are you doing?"

"I want to sit here." He raised an eyebrow, but didn't respond. She gave him an odd smile and Jayne had a strange feeling that she was toying with him.

"River, please get off of Jayne," Simon, said, trying not to plead. River frowned at him. "I don't want to."

"River," Mal barked and River sighed, pouting slightly as she slid off of his lap and into the seat next to him, scooting it closer to his. River was in fact, trying to gauge Jayne's response to her body in close proximity to his. So far, all she could feel was confusion and annoyance, though it was less intense than was normal. River stared up at him in quiet contemplation and Jayne eyed her back warily. It occured to her that he trusted her not to tell Mal or Simon about the kiss, but she was still confused as to why he wasn't ignoring her as she believed he would. Maybe he was trying to keep things from getting uncomfortable.

After everyone was seated, served breakfast and somehow, as usual, the basket of biscuits passed her before she could grab one and when it finally passed back, it was empty. River stared at it for a minute and set it back down, picking up her fork to finish her eggs when Jayne plunked a biscuit down on her plate, careful to avoid her gaze. River continued to pick at her food until she noticed Jayne had the last piece of bacon on his plate and snitched it in a less than subtle manner. Jayne growled as he shoved his bicuit in his mouth, grabbing the half eaten biscuit off her plate. River growled back and grabbed his fork, prompting him to grab hers. River couldn't understand for a moment why he was so angry until she saw the small twinkle in his eye and realized he was teasing her. She grabbed his knife and Jayne made to grab her plate.

"What'n the Gorram hell is wrong with the two a you?"

They both froze, Jayne trying to grab back his knife as he reached for her plate, River's arm sneaking over to grab his cup of coffee, and turned to look at Mal. Both blinked several times, finally aware that they had an audience as everyone at the table was staring at them in confusion.

"She started it," Jayne huffed, slapping her hand away from his mug of coffee hard enough to make it sting. River's mouth fell open in abject horror. "That hurt."

Jayne frowned guiltily. "You tried to take my coffee."

She hit him in the arm hard and he grunted, glaring at her, "Girl, you're settin' yourself up for all kinds'a trouble."

She snorted and rolled her eyes. "When am I not in trouble."

"Yeah, but you never been punished for it," Kaylee said smirking, "an' I'm thinkin' Jayne is just the person-"

River's warning glare cut her off. Jayne was about to put Kaylee in her place when he noticed River perk up. "Somebody's angry. They want out of their cage."

"Must be Uncle Jim an' all them boys tryin' to break that horse still. Tol' 'em they ain't gonna be able to do it," Jayne snorted in laughter. River smiled up at him. "You comprehend River-speak."

"Well, it's easy when ya listen, Moonbrain-Ow! Ma!"

Jayne was close to tears as he watched his brother David get thrown from the large, white stallion for the third time in the past two hours. "Some horses is jus' Wild, boys. I say you just let it go."

"You kiddin' me?!" Jim exclaimed, "you know how much a horse like that'll go for?"

"There should not be a price on life."

They all stopped bickering and turned to see River standing near the gate, munching on the pear he had given her, an apple in hand. She bent over, staring in between the wooden boards of the gate. The horse eyed her in much the same way, completely still for the first time in several hours. "He will die before he gives in."

"Horses ain't capable o' that kinda though, Lil Witch," Mal said, laughing slightly. River simply took another bite of her pear and stared at him. "You do not understand. There are some things not meant to be tamed, just accepted."

No sooner had she finished speaking than she wrenched the gate open, stepping aside as the horse stampeded by, as if it had known what she had been planning to do.

"River!" Mal yelled, but she wasn't paying attention, she was busy watching the horse, who had stopped short outside the gate. It turned slowly staring at her and she held out the apple. "Yours if you want it, Horse," she said, biting into her pear once more. The horse slowly approached her, knicking the apple from her hand quickly and trotted off to stand under a nearby tree. "See? He will not leave.""

The horse continued to watch River closely. Jayne rolled his eyes. "Don't mean you had the right to let him out."

"When were they given the right to hold him in captivity?" She stepped closer to him. "Would you like it if I decided without your consent that you belonged to me and that I could do with you as I pleased?"

Jayne didn't bother to reply. She knew the answer and she doggedly ignored the fact that it stung slightly. She said instead as she began to walk over to where the horse was standing, "Bring me a present. I like presents."

"Wouldya look at that," David whispered incredulously as he watched the horse slowly approach River, who had begun to climb the tree. Mal groaned. "She's gonna want to bring that horse with us, too."

"That girl is all kinds o' crazy, Mal, all kinds." He couldn't help smiling as he said it.

Jayne didn't enjoy shopping trips with Mal, Kaylee, and Simon. Shopping with the three of them usually meant going into any shop that looked like it sold frilly dresses. One shop Kaylee had persuaded them to enter had not only frilly dresses, but several hard to find objects-a pair of which Jayne was sure River would be interested in. It annoyed him that the first thought that had come to his mind upon seeing them was about how River would want them and he should get them for her. He continued to thinking on it as he made his way to the counter while Mal and Simon were busy watching Kaylee try on dresses, Simon having promised he would buy her one.

"What'd ya get, Jayne," she asked, once outside the store. He shrugged. "Somethin' for my Ma."

It wasn't a lie; he had bought something for his mother as well. Both gifts made him feel as if he was goin' soft. Kaylee stared up at him expectantly and he glowered down at her. "What?"

"That's an awful lot of packages," Kaylee said, staring at him pointedly. Jayne exhaled roughly and glared harder. "I 'spect you'll find out what I got soon enough, so I ain't tellin' ya now."

"Well, I can wait," Kaylee said smiling up at him the way she smiled while reading one of her romance novels. Something told him she knew about that kiss. Well, he thought in resignation. Weren't like you could keep a secret on Serenity and it anyone was to know what happened, it would be Kaylee.

When they got back from town, Mrs. Cobb was sitting in her rocking chair on the porch knitting while Kaylee, Susie, and Amy talked animatedly. "Where's River at?" he asked, ignoring the pointed looks Mal and Simon gave him. His mother nodded off towards the field and Jayne saw River stretched out under the tree, the white stallion grazing not far from her. "Said we was too loud," Amy said to him, frowning, "don't know what that means."

"Means she can hear what you're thinkin' an' it's buggin' her," Jayne muttered as he pushed open the door with his foot. "How come she don't think you're loud?" Amy called after him.

"Cause I remember ta think quiet-like," he yelled, stuffing the packages in the trunk at the foot of his bed. "I'd'a thought you'd think loudest of all," she teased and he swatted at her, causing her to screech with laughter and run out of the room. "Don't tell nobody where I hid these, dong ma?" he yelled after her.

Jayne wandered back out onto the porch and stretched, groaning as he did so. He heard some more giggling and looked down. In the little span of time he had been inside, some of Amy and Susie's friends had decided to come over.

"Great," he grumped at Mal, "more giggling."

"Aww, now Jayne, I conjure any one o' them underage girls would make an excellent wife for the likes a you."

"Hey, you're the one that got married an' didn't even know it. Worked out real well," Jayne sat down on the steps next to Mal and stretched once more eliciting more giggles. "That's why I ain't plannin' on gettin' married. Prolly get myself shot dead in a couple a years anyways."

"True," Mal agreed, sipping some coffee from his mug, "she sure does make a fine cup o' coffee."

"Indeed." Jayne sighed, "I almost want to stay. Two more days don't seem like enough."

Mal was taken aback by Jayne's admission. "You can if you want."

Jayne shook his head. "Wouldn't have nobody to shoot."

Mal chuckled. "You do enjoy shooting people."

"Yeah, and with me gone, you'd get shot more."

Mal frowned, hurt. "Why's everyone always say that?"

"Because it's true, Sir," Zoe said, coming to stand behind the duo. Mal looked up at her, slightly offended. "You been shot, Zoe."

"Not as many times as you, Sir, an' each time I was shot, I was wearing armor."

"Jayne doesn't wear armor," Mal pointed out.

"Yeah, but I'm also smarter'n you. I know people who got guns is gonna shoot at me an' I make sure to shoot 'em 'fore they shoot me."

"You been shot," Mal pointed out and Jayne shrugged. "Don't bother me none."

"But then you have scars," Kaylee called out, pulling away from the group of still giggling girls. "Big ugly scars."

"Nothin' wrong with a few scars," Jayne said, pulling out his flask, and smiling broadly, "just means you got some interestin' stories ta tell an' the ladies love 'em."

"Really, that so?" Mal asked, thinking it over. Jayne nodded. "Never met a woman who didn't like 'em."

Kaylee scrunched up her face in distaste. "I ain't too keen on 'em."

"Well, good thing you got the Doc. I'm sure he ain't got a single scar on 'im," Jayne said, just as a shadow fell over him.

"Whoa, horsey," Mal said, rather warily and Jayne turned to find River looming over him, kitten in hand as the horse stood staring down Mal. She bent forward, leveling her eyes with his. "Did you bring me a present?"

"Now why would I do that?" Jayne asked. River gave him one of her looks. "Because I asked."

"Doesn't mean I have ta get you one, Girlie," he argued and she smiled down at him. "She is only teasing you."

"Well, she best stop it 'fore I take a switch to her," Jayne said in a mocking tone, trying his best to give her his meanest glare. She scowled back down at him. "Always so grumpy."

"You jus' now noticin', Li'l Albatross?" Mal joked, "Cause Jayne ain't ever 'xactly been a picture a happiness."

River shook her head, causing her hair to wave around her in a way that made Jayne's breath catch in his throat. It was disconcerting. River settled down on Mal's knee. "Jayne is only grumpy when he is being sneaky with his thoughts. Jayne is very good at sneaking."

"You got somethin' needs sharin'?"

"If I did I woulda shared it by now, Mal. An' we ain't on the boat so I don't gotta share it anyhow," Jayne snapped, becoming grouchier by the minute. He was not comfortable with the way River was sitting in Mal's lap. He was not comfortable with the way she lay her head down on Mal's shoulder even though he knew it meant nothing. Their relationship was that of a father and daughter, Jayne knew, but it still bothered him to see Mal touching her. Jayne growled down at his flask. What bothered him most, was that it bothered him at all.

"Hey, River," Amy called, her eyes sliding over the girl mischeivously, "what did you think of Nathaniel?"

River frowned at her. "What does it matter what I think?"

"It does," Wash, Simon, and Mal said simultaneously.

She sighed. "Tried to catch the wrong bird. The bird is for someone else."

"What's with all the bird talk all the time?" Mal complained. "Jayne's right. You need to quit talkin' in riddles."

"I am not, you will understand one day," she replied and Mal's frown deepened. "Well, what do you think of him in 'Captain Dummy Talk'?"

She drew in a breath and addressed Amy instead. "He was very polite, but he thinks too loud and does not understand the concept of ownership."

"Huh?" Kaylee asked. "Ownership a what?"

Slightly jumped from River's arms to jayne's knee, nearly tumbling onto the step and Jayne caught him, helping him up to sit on his knee. River watched the two in fascination. "Of me."

"He thought he owned ya?" Susie asked incredulously and River shook her head, watching intently as Jayne wiggled his finger in front of the little orange kitten, who batted at it. "No, did not understand that I already belong to someone."

"Oh, River, Simon don't own ya just cause he's yer brother," Kaylee laughed. Mal ruffled River's hair. "Li'l Albatross, you're your own person an' you don't belong to no one."

"She agrees, but she would belong to someone if they decided they wanted her for their own," she said sadly, realizing with sudden intensity that though she wasn't quite sure what she felt for Jayne, she was willing to explore it. She had been thinking about it all day, whether it was work the trouble and had finally decided that it was.

"Nathaniel wants ya," Kaylee said slowly and River frowned at her friend. "I do not want him. I do not belong to him."

"Who do you belong to?" Jayne asked, meeting her gaze intently, causing her to yelp and tumbled out of Mal's lap, to the hard ground below. Jayne burst into laughter and River punched him hard in the arm. "Her misfortune is not funny."

"Yes, it is," he argued between laughs. The kitten leapt off of Jayne's knee and onto River's stomach, peering up at her as if to see if she were alright. Wash rolled his eyes at her. "You're awfully clumsy today," he said as he helped her up. She smiled up at him gratefully. "There are rumblings in her causing confusion and so it makes it hard to navigate."

"Thought maybe Jayne's ugly mug scared the gracefulness out of you," Wash, snickered and Jayne glared at him. River shook her head, pulling a piece of grass out of her hair. "No, he does not scare me and he is not ugly. He is very manly."

Jayne nodded and stuck his tongue out at Wash. "Yeah, Little Man, I'm all kinds of manly an' charming."

"That's debatable," Zoe snorted.

River smiled at the firstmate. Ever since Miranda Zoe had smiled more, showed more emotion as if in silent acknowledgement of the fragile state of life. It really was too short to be hiding parts of yourself. River smiled softly at this. It was also unwise to spend time trying to fix the parts that were not fixable and neglect those that were still whole and required care.

After dinner, River curled up on the floor in between Wash's legs as he pulled out the book he had been reading over and over to River as everyone departed for their separate rooms and Jayne headed out to the porch with a large bottle of whiskey to do some much needed thinking. Zoe, Inara, Kaylee, Mrs. Cobb, and Jayne's sisters and brothers remained to listen as River had stated that they were the only ones ready to hear Jayne's story, though she was sure Jayne could here as he was sitting near the open window. However, River doubted he was really listening and she wasn't about to chase him off. It would only make him angry and he was grouuchy enough as it was. "Am I starting from the beginning?" Wash asked. River nodded emphatically. "They must hear the entire story from beginning to end."

Wash nodded, running his fingers through her hair in a way that made Zoe smile slightly.

"All children," Wash began, "except one, grow up..."

* * *

Reviews really are quite nice. even if you completely hate it, it's nice to know other people's opinions. so bring it on. 


	6. A Start

**I own nothing. This is a somewhat short chapter, but i promise the next one will be extremely long.**

* * *

When Jayne awoke the next morning it was to something soft pressing against his lips, making him sigh. He opened his eyes slowly to find River standing over him with a cup of coffee, smiling. "Time to wake up." 

Jayne groaned as he stretched, blinking several times. "You jus' kiss me?"

"You promised me I could kiss you any time I wanted and I wanted to."

Jayne nodded slowly and took the cup from her and her smiled broadened as he drank from it greedily. He pulled her onto his lap without a thought, somewhat unnerved at how comfortable the action felt to him and how right it felt to have her snuggled up against him. He was indeed becoming soft. He didn't even like her, really. This only troubled him more. As if sensing his uneasiness, she pulled away abruptly.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked a bit too sharply. River shrugged. "You do not want her here."

Jayne tugged on her hand, pulling her back into his arms. "How d'you know that?"

She bit her lip guiltily and he glared at her. "You ain't supposed to be gallavantin' 'round up there."

"I'm sorry," she said, barely above a whisper. "You were being loud."

He lifted her chin to find her eyes wet with unshed tears. Jayne felt a spear of panic. He hated when women cried. He didn't know what to do. "Aw, now don't do that!"

Her lower lip trembled as the first tear spilled over and slid slowly down her cheek and she began to shake slightly. "Stop it," he barked at her, becoming more and more flustered with each tear that fell. When it only caused her to cry harder, Jayne picked her up, settling her into his lap. "I said quit it. Now are you gonna do as I say 'er not?"

"I-I-I'm trying," she half sobbed, sniffling. With the palm of his hand, Jayne wiped the tears from her face. "You can't be doin' that weepy thing every time I hurt your feelins. Makes me feel bad."

"You should," she mumbled, "I was only trying to be nice, bringing you your coffee."

"I know."

"If you didn't want me, you shouldn't have kissed me," she snapped, jumping up suddenly, startling him as well as herself. Jayne opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words as he didn't rightly know what to say. "Nothing but a stupid boy!" she growled at him as she stormed out.

"Hey," he bellowed, storming out after her, causing everyone at the breakfast table to jump, "I ain't a boy!"

River growled again and slammed the door shut behind her. Jayne snarled at the door as he settled into his chair heavily and grabbed the basket of biscuits out of Simon's hand. "Crayz ass girl thinkin' she can jus' do an' say whatever she wants when she can't," he mumbled, "thinkin' people oughta go 'round buyin' her presents."

"You didn't make her cry did you?" Inara asked suspiciously and Jayne glared at her as he tore into his biscuit. "So what if I did."

"Again?" Kaylee sighed.

"Jayne!" his mother exclaimed. He rolled his eyes. "I ain't responsible for her girly outbursts any more'n anyone else at this table an' I ain't gonna feel sorry for her every time somthin' makes her cry."

"But you're the one that made her cry," Kaylee exclaimed, horrified at Jayne's less than sympathetic response to his mother's rebuke. He rolled his eyes at her. "What, you sayin' every time the Doc makes you cry he comforts ya or somethin'?"

"Yes," the entire table answered.

"It's what a man ought to do, Jayne, apologize for his outrageous behavior. Especially, when he makes a woman cry," Mal said, feeling he needed to had his opinion.

Jayne scoffed. "Well, I'm jus' followin' your fine example. How many times you apologize after makin' Inara cry?"

"What crawled up your pi gu an' died this mornin'?!" Amy cried, slamming her hand down on the table. "You ain't got no right to be mean to River. She brought you the last cup o' coffee cause she knows how much ya like it. She was bein' nothin' but nice to you an' you go an' make 'er cry."

Jayne suddenly felt a twinge of guilt, which only served to make him angrier than he was. "Y'all ain't gonna leave me alone 'bout this 'til I 'pologize are ya?"

A curt "No" was the resounding answer and Jayne sighed as he pushed his chair back and stomped towards the front door.

* * *

River stood at the edge of the pond, thinking about what had happened with Jayne. "Bird in the egg," she sighed, as she watched the horse drink greedily from the pond, patting his neck, "just a bird in an egg. Half way in, half way out." 

River kicked her foot through the water, startling the horse a bit. "Sorry," she whispered as she lifted her dress and waded into the water until it was halfway up to her knees.

Jayne was being difficult, acting as if he had been the only one adverse to their attraction to one another when, in fact, River hadn't wanted anything to do with him romantically either. She hadn't even realized she had wanted him to want her until the words were out of her mouth. She was well aware that men like Jayne did not become involved with women, which only troubled her more. She was willingly setting herself up for heartbreak. Thinking on the entire situation only served to give her a headache. Her fingers came to rest on her lips as she thought about their kiss. It had been unlike anything she had ever experienced. It made her whole body tingle to remember how it had felt to have him pressed up against her, made her entire body ache in places she didn't want it to ache. River fell back into the water, needing to feel the cool water envelope her as she tried to fight the burning heat that had consumed her at the memory of it all.

"Just a boy, just a stupid, stupid boy," she whispered to herself, willing herself to stop wanting Jayne, wanting his kisses. She completely submerged herself, letting the water swirl around her. She shouldn't want him. He was all wrong for her. He would forever be yelling a her, forever calling her crazy, and he would most likely never love her. Yet, she knew no one would be able to kiss her the way he did. She wondered suddenly if all the women who had been kissed on the mouth by Jayne had felt the same way. Her heart lurched as she pictured the different women Jayne had kissed. The women she pictured were gorgeous, like the Greek Goddesses of Earth-That-Was-not scrawny and childlike, as she was. They were magnificent, worthy of inspiring lust and desire. Not her. Never her.

River pushed up off the bottom of the pond and surged forward, breaking through the surface and wiped the water from her face, breathing in heavily. She hadn't expected to find Jayne standing next to the horse staring at her, but there he was, his face blank as he watched her push her hair from her face, water pouring off her in miniature streams. Jayne continued to stare at her as he pulled off his boots and shirt and stormed into the water towards her. River stopped breathing. He had the same look in his eyes that he'd had right before he'd kissed her. He grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her to him roughly, his lips colliding with hers in a way that was sure to make them bruise. And with that kiss River forgot everything she had previously been thinking. He wasn't wrong for her and she should want him. He was completely right for her and she would always want him because he had the ability to make her feel what she was feeling in that exact moment.

He pulled away suddenly. "I don't like ya, but I'm gettin' there."

"It's a good start," she mumbled against his lips, "just don't stop kissing me like this."

Jayne nodded against her mouth as he simultaneously kissed her and pulled them farther into the water. River wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled them along, floating in the water leisurely, and she placed genlte kisses all over his face.

"I don't know what this is an' I ain't gonna say I won't hurt ya when I might," he said as way of warning. She nodded. "I know and for now, it's alright."

Jayne tensed and she tightened her hold on him. "Don't, Jayne, don't pull away from me just yet."

He slowly raised his hand up to her face, kissing her deeply and she responded in kind, moaning softly. She pulled away abruptly and he opened his mouth to ask her what was wrong when a shower of water hit him in the face and she began to laugh.

"Oh, way to ruin a good moment, Moony," he grumped playfully, trying to splash her back as she floated away from him. She splashed at him again, hitting him dead on and he laughed as he sent wave back at her, only to find she had disappeared. Jayne pushed back towards land when he felt something reach for his foot. Snaking an arm around her quickly, he hauled her to the surface, screaming with glee. He pulled her ashore collapsing halfway in the water and sighed heavily. "You think you're jus'sa Gorram cute, don't you?" he asked, teasingly and she giggled down at him, resting her chin on his chest. He grunted as she slowly climbed up his torso, pressing featherlight kisses on his chest as she went, causing a sharp spike of arousal to course through him and he supressed a moan.

"You're gonna be askin' for trouble if you keep doin' that," he warned, closing his eyes. She nibbled on his lower lip. "Maybe I am asking for trouble."

His eyes shot open at that and she looked down at him in amusement. "Not the kinda trouble I'm thinkin' on," he said, causing her to blush slightly. He stretched his arms out over his head and let his eyes wander over her form hanging above him as she sat up. She was wearing one of her white dresses that fit her just right. She was soaked through and Jayne realized he was able to see parts of River he shouldn't be seeing and it only served to make him more aroused.

"Um, River, I can see yer, uh, I can see," he stuttered, gesturing towards her chest, though he couldn't pull his eyes away. River giggled at him. "Jayne Cobb, you are blushing."

"No, I ain't," he cried indignantly, causing her to giggle even more. Jayne brought his hands up to rest on her hips, his expression suddenly serious. "After tomorrow we're gonna be back out in the Black."

River ran the length of his jawline with one finger, staring down at his lips hungrily. "I know."

"Can't be doin' all this kissin' out in the open an' such," he said slowly and she nodded. "We will find a way, Jayne. Don't worry, no airlock for you."

"I ain't worried 'bout no airlock," he lied, causing her to smile softly. She let her fingers trail over his chest and stomach languidly, tracing the outline of each scar she found along the way and he groaned. "What'd I tell you 'bout that trouble you was askin' for?"

* * *

pi gu: ass 

A/N: sorry this was so short, but I wanted to make it more clear on how River's feelings were developing as it will focus mostly on how Jayne's are. Also, the next chapter will be longer. However, I'm still writing it so, it will take a while. I don't want this to be some half-assed fanfic because Firefly is one of my all time favorites. So please review.


	7. Presents and Mistletoe

**I own nothing**

* * *

Jayne had been laying in his bunk for several hours, trying to figure out just what it was that made him want River when he didn't even like her. Why was he so attracted to her? She wasn't even really his type. He was usually attracted to women with blond hair and big breasts, women who weren't in the least bit innocent. Well, River wasn't innocent. She killed people when the need arose. And, boy did she ever look good doin' it. Like the time they had gone to Whitefall and another deal with Patience had gone sour. One of the men had come around from behind and grabbed her, and she'd swung her leg up from behind and kicked him, grabbing his gun out of the air as it dropped and shot him with it without hesitation. He remembered thinkin' in that moment how much he wanted to pull her to him and sex her right there. There had been times before that, such as the brawl in the Maidenhead and the fight with the Reavers at Mr. Universe's compound after the blast doors had opened. 

But there had been other, more recent events that had turned him on, more mundane everyday occurrences that had been makin' him more than want to just kiss her. First had been her dancing around that bonfire with his sisters and Kaylee, the way the light of the fire had flickered across her face, and then at the pond when she'd surfaced, flipping her hair away from her face, her wet dress clinging to her, the water running down her face and neck as she stared at him with her deep brown eyes. Jayne sighed. He was in deep and he wasn't sure if he could dig himself out or if he even wanted to. The last time he'd felt even close to what he was feeling about River had ended badly.

He flipped over on his stomach, burying his face in his pillow, trying to banish all thoughts of her from his mind. If he stopped thinking over her so much, it would be easier to distance himself, wouldn't it? He had been avoiding her for the past week and a half and he could tell he was hurting her by the way she would look at him when she thought no one was looking, the way she would sigh every time he spoke or the sad look she would get in her eyes whenever Simon hugged Kaylee or Wash kissed Zoe. He didn't want to hurt her, but he just couldn't bring himself to...

Jayne jumped up, feeling the need to move around. It was late and everyone had gone to sleep hours ago. As his bunk hissed open, he heard someone humming softly on the bridge to music he had never heard before. He approached silently, finding River sitting in the copilot's chair, her feet propped up as she stared into the the black vacuum of space, Slightly curled up in her lap purring softly. Just as Jayne had predicted, Mal had allowed River to bring the orange kitten aboard. What he hadn't predicted is that he would be the one to support River's having the kitten along with Simon, Wash, and Kaylee.

It wasn't until he saw her shoulders shake, that he realized she was crying softly as she whispered along to the music.

The music crescendoed and River closed her eyes, holding her breath and crying more freely as the man sang, "You alone can make my song take flight-it's over now, the music of the night!"

River wiped her eyes gingerly, sniffling. She leaned forward, scrolling through the cortex, before settling on some classical music and then settled further into her chair. He wondered if maybe she was cryin' cause of him and decided then would be a good moment to make his presence known. "I feel bad 'bout 'voiding ya," Jayne mumbled and she smiled up at him. He guessed maybe she had known he had been standing there.

"Jayne is not used to having the girl be close," she said, scratching the cat under the chin, "he does not understand why he wants to grow up with her. Does not understand why they are so alike. Dopplegangers."

"We ain't similar," Jayne snapped, unsure of how he understood her or why he was so keen on arguing, "an' I'm done grown if'n ya ain't noticed, woman."

"In body, but not in heart," she said, still smiling as she watched him try to understand her words. Her expression clouded over suddenly. "If you are not careful the bird will fly away despite its broken wing."

"You keep them bird comments 'twixt you an' Wash," Jayne snapped, becoming more and agitated. He was finding it rather confusing that her crazy talk only made him want to kiss her...among other things. "An' quit bein' s'darn loopy."

"You know my becoming insane is highly improbable now," she sighed, frowning at his techy behavior. "And she is saddened that though you have apologized, you have not kissed her."

"I ain't gonna kiss ya!"

"You promised if you wanted to, that you would," she reminded him. Jayne growled and quickly pecked her on the lips. River, seemingly satisfied, turned back to stare out at the stars. "Growing up will be better for you than you think."

* * *

Jayne didn't really understand what kept him comin' back for more. What made him sneak as many kisses from her as possible when no one was lookin'. The only one who really seemed to notice anythin' outta the ordinary about the two was Wash, though it seemed to Jayne, he didn't really know much. Wash only smiled knowingly whenever River got it into her head to be particularly affectionate with Jayne in front of the rest of the crew. His smile would broaden whenever Jayne would snap at her. It was a touch unsettlin' that everyone was so clueless, too. Though River had informed him that the women all knew 'bout him kissin' her that first time, they believed that it had been a one time deal. River had decided that no one need know about what went on 'tween them unless they planned on bein' together in a more together like fashion. Jayne was both relieved and disappointed. He liked that River wasn't putting pressure on him, but at the same time he was uncomfortable with it-did she not think he was good enough? Maybe she was just curious and fancied she was playin' scientist on him, like he was some sorta Guinea pig. 

When it was announced by Kaylee that Christmas was coming up in a few short days, Jayne hadn't paid her no mind. That is, until River danced into the mess hall, twirling and spinning like the graceful butterfly she was, singing, "presents to the boys and girls of Serenity, presents for all from her to you! No copper needed for a kiss! Mistletoe the lover's bliss! Presents, presents!"

"Oh, ain't it shiny!" Kaylee exclaimed dreamily, "we'll even be on St. Alban's! We can get a tree an' there'll be snow an' such!"

River nodded to her friend enthusiastically. "Plenty of mistletoe for all to enjoy!"

"You plannin' on kissin' someone," Mal asked, jokingly. Wash was grinning at her, causing Zoe to raise her eyebrow questioningly until she caught River climbing over Jayne on the couch out of the corner of her eye. River was babbling as she sat down on his lap. "No copper or apples needed!"

"Why you always gotta sit in my lap, ya loon?" Jayne groaned. He hated it when she did things like this in front of the crew. He caught sight of Simon trying to hold back an exasperated sigh. "Mei-Mei, please get off of the big, ugly, ape-man."

Jayne opened his mouth to protest, when he heard River say in a very small voice. "Simple Simon, is so blind. Never sees what he doesn't want to."

"I see just fine, River," Simon said, missing her meaning and gestured for her to come to him, "now get off of Jayne please."

"No," River argued, "Jayne is blue and ripply and she likes it-even if the ripples are erratic."

"Li'l Albatross, you oughta listen ta yer brother an-"

"NO, NO, NO," River said, shaking her head, "she doesn't want to! Blue and ripply not red and sharp. Raindrops and breezes!"

Both Mal and Simon started in on how sitting on Jayne was a bad idea, to which Kaylee became nervous as River became more and more upset, her eyes widening.

"Pointy red teeth gnashing at the guts," River wailed, "screeching. Just want the ocean and the seabreeze. Babble of the soft crashes makes the gnashing go away! This salt doesn't sting."

"River, please, he's liable to hit you-"

"River, honey, Jayne don't like havin' li'l girls who slice his chest on his lap-"

"-and who knows what he'll do after that-"

"-he's a bit on the techy side lately, so's now ain't the best time ta be hangin' on him-"

Only Inara and Wash seemed to really notice that Jayne himself hadn't said anything, and so were not suprised, though they were throughly confused, when he said suddenly, "Oh, just let 'er be. She wants ta sit here 'cause I make 'er calm, I ain't gonna argue. Jus' quit yellin'! Liable ta hit one a you two, 'stead a loopy here."

Mal blinked. Inara raised an eyebrow. Wash's confused look deepened. Kaylee cocked her head to the side thoughtfully. Zoe was unreadable. Simon was stuttering.

"Jayne is very astute," River, praised, smiling up at him approvingly while nuzzling his ear. He pushed her face away from his, trying hard not to be too rough. "I'll make ya move if'n you do that again."

"Eight instead of seven!" she squealed instead, causing him to frown as he tried to understand what she meant. Jayne crossed his arms across his chest and scowled. Having everyone stare at him was unnerving, especially with her hanging all over him. Sensing his unease, River turned her big eyes on him once more, blinking in an almost too innocent manner. "Jayne is grouchy. He is confused and grouchy. Like a bear who has been awakened during his hibernation period."

Wash snickered at the comparison, but nodded. "He is rather bear-like."

River wiggled her arms around his stiff frame and hugged. "Mmmmm," she sighed, "cuddly."

"I ain't cuddly," Jayne snapped, "bears ain't cuddly neither, you crazy ass Woman!"

"I feel faint," Mal muttered, still blinking in his stupor, "ain't never heard Jayne be called cuddly...never thought I'd be agreein'-"

"Oh, come on! I ain't no cuddly bear!"

River began to giggle as everyone cooed teasingly at a more than perturbed Jayne.

* * *

As soon as they had landed on St. Alban's, Kaylee had sent Jayne, Mal, and Simon out to get a Christmas tree while the women and Wash went to by food-real food for their impending Christmas feast. When nobody was paying attention, everyone arguing over how big the tree should be, River had placed a quick kiss on Jayne's cheek, whispering, "It is not a celebration without dancing and one may dance in many different ways." 

As much as Jayne enjoyed having snow around Christmas, he hated the absolute cold of it. It was the kind of cold that got in his bones and refused to leave. He jammed his hat down farther on his head and rubbed his hands together as they traipsed off into the wooded area surrounding the ship. He wondered if the extreme cold was getting to River. He hoped she wouldn't develop a cold. Jayne frowned. Kissin' was makin' him feel things he shouldn't be feelin'.

"I think it would be nice if it nearly touched the ceiling," Simon had said, causin' Jayne to give him his 'you're-dumber-than-you-think-I-am' look. "An' jus' how'd'you 'spose th' three a us is ta carry this gargantuan tree a yours?"

"How do you know what the word means?" Mal asked, looking at him in surprise. Jayne flushed slightly. He had learned it from River, but was not about to tell them he was spendin' time kissin' her and holdin' hands.

"What's it matter? I know! Jus' a same as I know we ain't gonna be able ta haul a tree that size back ta the boat by ourselves," Jayne snapped, and Mal glared at him. "We maybe off ship, but I'm still your superior."

"An' muh inferior in many ways," Jayne muttered under his breath. Realizing he had slipped up again, he bit the inside of his cheek hard to keep from swearing. Ever since him and River had taken to kissin' on one another, his vocabulary had increased exponentially.

"Seriously," Mal, said, stopping short as he eyed Jayne warily, "You ain't one for much talk an' now you're all knowin' of words you ain't previously known?"

Simon nodded in agreement. "This is rather odd. Did you read a dictionary?"

"Do we have a dictionary on board?" Jayne shot back. Mal and Simon lowered their eyes in thought, as did Jayne, all three of them scrunching their faces up as they tried to remember. _Did_ they have a dictionary?

"Huh," Mal said looking at his two companions, feeling quite sheepish, "well this was awkward an' creepifyin'."

"Quite," Simon said slowly. All three of them stood in complete silence for another moment.

Jayne hefted his axe back onto his shoulder. "Let's just get this o'er with."

"Right," Mal agreed.

After several minutes of trudging through the snow, they found it-the perfect tree. It was small enough to allow for usual activities in the cargo bay, yet would make for a perfect tree. Kaylee and River were going to have a field day with the decoratin' Jayne realized, smiling at the thought. He wasn't even bothered by the warm feeling coursing through him. Mal clapped his hands together. "Well, I conjure it's time we cut this fine lookin' tree down and drag'er home. Think the cold's messin' with us a bit."

* * *

River hadn't really ever had a single Christmas where she had been both excited and happy. Her presents had always be disappointing and her parents hadn't ever really been warm people. However, Serenity's crew was warm. They glowed in a way River had never experienced. 

"Just look at all this white snow," Kaylee said in wonderment, "'nough to make a person bust."

Wash and Zoe nodded, the latter saying, "I am feelin' a might fuzzy myself."

Wash hugged her close and watched as both Kaylee and River tried hard to contain their excitement. Inara herself seemed overly content, just to be out in the flurry of soft snowflakes that fell around them.

Their shopping was almost complete when they all decided on a whim to enter one last store. River still hadn't figured out the right gift for Jayne-something that irked her fiercely. River prided herself on being able to know what others wanted. However, Jayne Cobb wanted nothing. Things he wanted, he wanted because he needed them. He had no use for frivolties, something River liked about him. River was beginning to realize there were a great deal of things she liked about the rugged mercenary. River felt her cheeks warm as she remembered the last time Jayne had made the stars burst. The group broke apart as they wandered through the small shop and River found herself in front of a glass case holding a ton of "pretties" as Kaylee called them, when her eyes landed on something that screamed "perfect." He wouldn't understand, but he would care, she realized, staring at it. She knew exactly what he would do with it. It would help him grow-help them grow together. River felt giddy on the way home, bouncing just as much as Kaylee. This Christmas was going to be perfect. Just perfect.

When they arrived back, Jayne and Mal were busy pushing the tree up, Simon standing far back as he watched, telling them whether or not it was positioned correctly. Catching Jayne's eye, she nodded at the tree approvingly and he nodded back. Once, the tree was set, Kaylee and River sat down to the great task of untangling the Christmas lights as Jayne began to string up the portions they had already unraveled. Kaylee hummed jingle bells softly to herself, smiling in excitement.

"Oh, I can't hardly wait, River," Kaylee sighed, gazing up at the unfinished tree lovingly, "it's jus' gonna be so shiny. Think a all the pretty gifts that'll be under the tree! All of 'em bought with love. I think my favorite part is seein' people's faces as they open their gifts."

She looked up at Jayne, who was nearly finished stringing what was left of the untangled portion of lights. "You got all your Christmas shoppin' done, Jayne?"

"Most, some I gotta wait on," he said in a guarded tone, and River frowned inwardly. He thought she was reading him.

"What did she tell you," River whispered in a sullen voice, "peeking is greedy."

Jayne frowned at her as he took the lights she and Kaylee handed to him, but refused to say anything. After the lights were strung, Jayne hung around as Kaylee, River, Wash, and Inara hung the decorations. Wash had bought several decorations that were meaningful to both he and River, though no one knew what that specific meaning was. They were of birds, mermaids, and fairies. Jayne had been picking at his guitar, a lilting version of "O Holy Night" when he looked up to find River standing in front of him, holding a sprig of mistletoe over his head. "No copper," she whispered, planting a lingering kiss on his cheek in plain view of everyone. He cracked a lopsided grin at her and continued to play, staring at her all the while. River inhaled sharply, her face reddening. He looked so...sexy. River turned away quickly and handed the mistletoe to Inara, who was busy stringing it all over the cargo bay with red ribbon while Wash wrapped lights along all the railings. River was unable to follow the exuberant chatter of Wash and Kaylee as she tried desperately to determine why there was a hummingbird in her chest just then. It only ever appeared when River and Jayne were busying themselves with kissing each other into a frenzy. When they had finished, the five stood back to admire the tree before them. Jayne felt River's tiny hand take hold of his as they all stood in silence, staring up at the sight before them. It was beautiful. Jayne gave her hand a light squeeze and caught her smile widened slightly. It made him feel warmer inside and he thought maybe it was because it was nearly Christmas even everyone felt warmer around Christmas.

* * *

River loved wrapping paper she decided. She had watched Inara and Kaylee wrap their gifts in Inara's shuttle and in that time, decided she loved the wrapping paper. She was only too sorry that her most personal gift wasn't big enough to be wrapped. Sometimes, she found herself sprawled out in front of the tree at eye level with all the vibrant boxes, shining under the dim light of the tree. She would stare at them for hours and blinking, find herself back in her room, the familiar smell of gun oil and cigars swallowing her. 

River had also begun to realize slowly that kissing just wasn't enough and it was becoming harder and harder for her to keep herself from flashing back on the images Jayne had created of the two of them together while they had been in the lounge. It was making it harder and harder for her to be satisfied with kisses alone. Jayne had remained unreadable through out her turmoil, projecting not a single vulgar image at her and River found that this both hurt and confused her. If she was so unattractive to him now, why did he still kiss her? On the mouth? Maybe he was satisfied with trim...had he been getting trim?

River dangled a piece of ribbon in front of her now gangly cat, who rolled lazily to catch it and she propped her head up on her right hand. She had never felt so confused, helpless and frightened before in her life-not even when she was admittedly crazy. It was disheartening and she yearned for the first couple months after Miranda when she hadn't been interested in the opposite sex and still believed that Jayne was nothing more than the "man-ape-gone-wrong-thing" her brother proclaimed he was. It was nearly a year since Miranda and not a single crew member was what they once were. Wash often wheezed, his chest tightening, Kaylee's smiles sometimes faltered, Inara sometimes found herself on the verge of tears as she made appointments with clients, Simon had begun to separate himself from River, Zoe was more open, as was Mal, and Jayne...well, now he kissed the moonbrain on the mouth and liked it.

"River, mei-mei, are you alright?" Inara asked, gliding down the stairs. River didn't even bother to look up, tugging at the ribbon, causing it to jerk. Slightly followed it's movements with fascination.

"She wants to open the blue box," River muttered slowly, trying to understand how to approach her feelings, "but she is afraid of what's inside."

"River there is nothing in the world to fear," Inara assured her and she shook her head adamantly. "Love. Hope. They are quite misleading."

"Emotions can trick you," Inara agreed, coming to sit next to River, gazing up at the tree as well, "I doubt anyone in the 'verse would argue with you on that."

"She is not crazy anymore, yet she is still tiresome," she sighed, "even her ge-ges think so."

"Oh, River, we all get a little exasperated with one another often. It's not only because we're with each other all the time, but because we love each other."

"It constantly flits, but it only wants the blue flower made of steel," River sighed, and Inara tried hard to keep her confusion from her face. River shrugged at her. "You are not meant to understand just as she is not meant to understand-may never understand."

River followed Inara into the mess and settled into her usual seat next to Jayne. She was neither surprised nor hurt when he ignored her, though she was curious as to why he focused on his food so intently. River leaned on the table and forked through her food over and over. Everything tasted so bland; it didn't matter that they had picked up real food and she was staring into a large serving of real mashed potatoes.

"What'sa matter with you, Moony?" Jayne asked finally, "That cat a yers die on ya or somethin'?"

"Slightly is fine," she sighed, lifting a forkful of potatoes and inspecting it, "she is perplexed. The hummingbird will not leave. The stars are not bursting and yet it remains. Insists it lives within her permanently."

Jayne paused in the middle of a bite and turned to her with narrow eyes. "Why you want it to go away? I kinda like mine!"

River heard her fork clatter to her plate loudly. She heard everyone around her stop mid sentence to watch her in concern. She felt herself holding her breath. She cocked her head to one side and considered what he had said. "You are not adverse to yours?"

"Why should I be?" he mumbled, suddenly embarrassed and confused, "you gonna eat yer food 'er can I have it?"

* * *

Jayne ignored her right up until Christmas Eve, as it had been decided they would open presents that evening rather than wait until morning. Inara had bought Mal a bullet proof vest so he would not get shot as often. Wash had bought Zoe a very slinky dress. Kaylee had bought Simon a stuffed cow, something he was very touched by. 

"He won't be in a jar anytime soon," Wash had joked, causing Zoe to burst into laughter along with Kaylee and Simon. Simon of course, had bought Kaylee a pair of beautiful slippers to go with the frilly dress Mal had bought her. Jayne had bought Kaylee a new parasol as hers had begun to rip more and more. Simon had gotten River what was quite possibly her favorite dress. A white dress with a pale blue and pink sash around the middle that came to just bellow her knees and flared out around her as she twirled (she had run off to change into it after opening it and tied her hair up in a pale pink ribbon that matched it perfectly). Inara and Kaylee had obviously helped him pick it out. Inara had bought her make up. Kaylee had bought her a sketchbook. Wash and Zoe gifted her with caligraphy pens and Mal presented her with a little figurine of a white bird for his "favorite albatross."

Jayne merely shoved a bulky paper bag at her mumbling, "for you." She hadn't expected anything from the mercenary as the only person he ever bought gifts for was Kaylee. She was almost afraid to open it as she slowly pulled the bulky yet smooth object from the paper sack. It was an intricate wood carving of the horse back on Kerry grazing under a the tree while she laid out in the grass with Slightly curled up on her chest. He had made something for her. Not bought, but made something. River felt herself melting into puddles. She wondered how long exactly he had been working on it.

"Jayne, you make that?" Kaylee asked, but Jayne couldn't get past the positively radiant smile on River's face. It was as if she were literally glowing. She bit her lip in her excitement as she slowly stood. "She has something for you, too," she said stepping forward. She held out her closed fist slowly, dropping something light in his hand.

Even before he looked at it, he heard Wash gasp and Inara inhale deeply, while Kaylee squeaked. Jayne slowly slid his gaze from her excited face to the contents of his palm and raised an eyebrow.

"It is not copper, but silver," she said in an excited tone.

"A thimble," Mal asked incredulously, "Jayne, you sew?"

Inara shot Mal a warning glare, causing him to gape at her in confusion. Jayne stared at the tiny silver object in his hand intently. He knew what it meant; had heard it somewhere but could not remember. It was important he knew. Something heavy thumped into his other hand. "For you to open later," she whispered. Before Jayne could thank her, Kaylee had brought him his guitar, and the crew had proceeded to sing Christmas songs as Inara fixed them all tea using the new tea set Simon and Kaylee had bought her, having had River the pot a cups with intricate floral designs. Wash was busy playing with the the new dinos his wife had bought him, making them sing in different voices. An hour into the singing, Kaylee and River had linked arms, twirling in a blue as they giggled with laughter. Mal had taken to adding some whiskey to his a Zoe's cups and the two were now looser and more relaxed. Out of breath, the two fell back under the tree, everyone clapping and laughing. As River breathed in raggedly for several minutes, the crew slowly departed, gifts in hand and River realized she was alone. It was terrible being alone at that moment she realized because they were all warm rich golden hues of happiness and warmth-as only Kaylee usually was.

River continued to stare up into the depths of the Christmas tree and decided she enjoyed this more than staring at the wrapped presents. She was sad that it was all over. Tomorrow the tree would be discarded, the lights and decorations packed up tightly and the perfect cocoon of happiness they had built would disintegrate. If only everyday were Christmas and everyone was as happy as they were then. Something big settled in beside her and she turned to see Jayne laying next to her, staring up into the branches of the tree as she had been not a moment before. Something light landed on her chest and he said without looking at her in a deceivingly nonchalant voice, "Got you this a while back, couldn't find the right moment to give it to you."

She sat up slowly and gently removed the purple paper from the contents, gasping at the pale pink ballet slippers. They were gently worn, as if whoever had owned them had hardly worn them. They were perfect. She gingerly pulled them on and stood, gazing down at them in a more than loving manner. Jayne sat up slowly and watched as she moved the chairs and crumpled up wrapping paper to the outskirts of the bay before skipping over to fiddle with the less than new cortex she and Kaylee had so painstakingly rigged in the bay and began flicking through it quickly until she found what she was looking for.

River turned and took up a graceful stance in the middle of the bay. "Now, she will dance for you." The music wafted up gently, echoing through the near silent Serenity in a soothing yet cheerful way and Jayne watched in wonderment as River moved in preternatural grace along with each note. He stood slowly, watching as she pirouetted and leapt around him, a small yet radiant smile on her face all the while and Jayne couldn't stop himself from grabbing on to her, spinning her. Her dress flared up around her as he spun her, dipping her in one arm and then the other. She giggled softly when he lifted her far above himself as she gently caressed his cheek, "This is not how The Nutcracker goes, but your improvisation is quite enjoyable."

He lowered her, intent on kissing her and was pleasantly surprised when she wrapped her arms around his neck giving her mouth over to his in total compliance. When they pulled apart, both dazed, his knees shaking with the force of it all, he said in a breathless voice, "You are ten kinds of crazy and not a bit normal, but you're one hell of a woman."

"And you are one hell of a man, Jayne Cobb," she replied, her kiss swollen lips curving into a smile as he held her away, twirling her in the same instance. He dipped her once more and she bent back over his arm farther than he expected and a jolt of hot desire shot through him. She was just so Gorram flexible. River came up to look at him slowly, her eyes trained on his and she noted the flames of desire and felt it as well. He stiffened slightly and she rose up en pointe in his arms, let her lips brush against his goatee as she whispered huskily, "We have made the stars burst and I feel it is time we make the planets stop turning."

He studied her half lidded expression and in one fell swoop, picked her up, cradling her in his arms gently. There was no need to tell him twice, she mused silently to herself.

Jayne kicked open his hatch silently, jumping into his bunk careful not to jostle the delicate woman in his arms. He watched as she finally looked around his bunk, her wide inquisitive eyes taking in every detail of the bunk she knew so well. She would never admit to him this of course which was why it puzzled him when she looked up above his gun rack and blinked in utter shock. Gone were the naked pictures of the women and in their place one of her many Christmas presents to him. It was a picture of herself surfacing in the pond as he had seen her; a thing of intricate beauty that filled him with a deep-seeded desire he had never known, thirst that needed quenching.

"I had to peek to see that," she whispered almost apologetically, "but I'm glad to know how you see me."

"I ain't read any of the book you tucked it in," he whispered in almost the same manner, "wanted to give you yer other present first."

She nodded in understanding and let her hands roam over his chest absently as she declared in almost shyly, "I want you to kiss me now."

Jayne complied and River was shocked to find that these kisses differed greatly from the ones they had shared over the past few months. Normally their kisses were demanding, almost violent in nature. These kisses were soft and slower though they consisted of the same unbridled passion.

River felt the soft cushioning of the bed under her shins and realized Jayne had somehow pulled her to straddle his lap as he sat against the bed, gently untying the slippers from her feet and dropping them just as gently to the floor. She was shivering in anticipation and the warmth coursing through her filled her head with a haze of lust as she slowly pulled Jayne's shirt up around his midsection, her her dark eyes never breaking contact from his equally smoldering blue ones. Her fingernails grazed his over-sensitized skin and he hissed, the muscles quivering under her finger tips as he pulled her into him to kiss her forcefully. She yanked his shirt off hastily as he untied her sash and jerked her dress off. They both flung the offending articles of clothing into the nearest corner as they once again attacked each other's mouths, this time with more desperation. River could feel his hands shaking. Was he nervous? Why was he nervous? _She_ was the one who had never had sex. She tensed. She was about to have sex. With Jayne. Her mind began to race. Was this the right decision? Should her first time be with Jayne? If she didn't have sex with Jayne who would she have sex with? Did he know she was a virgin? Should she tell him? It took her a moment to realize he had pulled away and was studying her face with concern.

"You thinkin' maybe you don't wanna do this?" He asked cautiously and she said in an overwhelmed rush, "She is a virgin and unsure of whether this bothers him."

Jayne rolled his eyes. "Anything else?"

"She is wondering if it is too soon," she said slowly. Instead of throwing her away from him and screaming for her to leave he frowned at her as if she were stupid, something he didn't do often. "If you gotta ask, it ain't the right decision."

She blinked for a moment before letting out an anguished moan as she let her head fall against his broad chest. "But she wants to."

"Well, I want to, too, but if you ain't sure you should, then you shouldn't," he growled in irritation. Why he wasn't trying to persuade her it was the right choice, he wasn't sure. He had been dreamin' of sexin' her for months upon Gorram months an' now he was tellin' her it weren't right. He was as crazy as she was.

"You will not be mad?" She asked, trying to act as though she was indifferent to his answer. He shook his head and collapsed back on his bed. "Naw, you take all the time ya need."

She snuggled up on his chest and sighed. After several minutes of content silence he asked, "I still get ta sex ya at some point right?"

River punched him half-heartedly and he laughed against her mouth as they kissed. After a few more moments they finally dressed themselves and River wandered back to the Cargo Bay to dance. She was pleasantly surprised when Jayne followed, sitting down in one of the chairs to watch. She was in the middle of a twirling when she felt him grab hold of her should to stop her. She stared up at him questioningly and he pointed heavenward, towards the overly large sprig of Mistletoe in the center of the bay nearest to the tree. "You think I'ma let ya prance about an' not kiss ya whenever yer under the Gorram mistletoe?"

River could feel her face redden at the boldness of his words. Why she was blushing, she was not sure. Jayne was always bold with speech. It was one of his most endearing qualities. Yet, she had been blushing lately. At every look he sent her-even the innocent ones, at every word he said to her-even the innocent ones, every time he touched her-even a hand on the shoulder.

Without waiting for her to respond he kissed her, more passionately and desperately than he ever had before. River could feel the two of them swaying slowly to the music. Was he really dancing with her? In answer to her question, he broke the kiss and twirled her, pulling her back in, swaying a long with her. River was becoming redder and redder by the moment. Jayne chuckled at her. "What're you so embarrassed about?"

"You almost never dance. Only dance when drunk-very drunk. She is confused."

He was making her nervous. Jayne's smiled broadened. River bit her lip. "Jayne Cobb is a very mysterious being."

"So is River Tam."

She giggled and let him twirl her in his arms once more kissing his cheek and then smiled up at him radiantly. "Merry Christmas, Jayne," she whispered against his lips.

"Merry Christmas, Girl," he whispered back in between kisses and River decided mistletoe was her favorite Christmas decoration by far.

* * *

A/N: I've changed the title. I never liked the title but couldn't really come up with one (which is why I hadn't begun posting it earlier) and I finally found the perfect one so I'm sorry if this inconveniences anyone. And no River and Jayne aren't getting together that easily. There are major turning points in the story that will present themselves at some point soon. Possibly within the next two chapters or so. Are you excited. I am. 

P.S. Had to put in a Christmas chapter seeing as it's so close to Christmas and all. please don't hold this against me either. And what she's listening to at the beginning is "Phantom of the Opera." Yeah, I know total cheese chapter. sorry.

P.P.S. Please Review.


	8. Big Damn Shindig

**I own nothing. though it would be nice if I owned Jayne. yum...**

* * *

He was doing it again-ignoring her and though River had told herself she would be patient, understanding, she was questioning herself more and more each day. What was worse, they were headed back to Aberdeen, the moon on which The Heart of Gold was situated. The possibilities of what would occur made River's stomach lurch. She had been playing out the different scenarios in her mind over and over-they all ended with Jayne and that ugly blond whore had been so enamored of. River set her feet on the console with a loud thud and glared out into the black as Wash focused on flying.

"You know, I may be not good at the whole understanding what you say when you go all George Orwell on me-"

This made River smile slightly as she listened to Wash continue, "but I gotta say, you are definitely scary when you're in your 'I want to rip off someone's head' mood. Especially, the sane one."

He engaged the autopilot and turned to look at her. "Look, Zoe and I are married so we tell each other everything..."

"You know of the star burst," River said, watching as Slightly hopped from console to console, careful not to step on any buttons or flip any switches. Wash let out a great sigh."Yes, um..." Wash rubbed the back of his head, trying to figure out the best way to discuss the matter. "And it's making me think this is why your intent on trying to turn the entire 'verse into black hole with that glare of yours."

River continued to watch Slightly, who was now staring out into the black along with her. "She is fine."

"Look, I don't know much about Jayne as far as his views on being monogamous, however-"

"You are the only one on Serenity besides Zoe who is in an emotionally stable relationship, therefore you have more of a right to broach this subject with me than any other member of the crew. Furthermore, you are male and this might afford you more insight," she said as she finally turned her gaze back to him, "the bird has attempted to fly yet the wind buffets her. She is being forced into a tailspin."

"River, just so you know, me and Zoe didn't fall in love and get married overnight. And Jayne is nothing like either myself or Zoe so, his approach towards a relationship-whether it be with you or someone else- will be completely different," Wash said slowly and River nodded, her face contorting into a worrisome stare. "She did not imagine such inner turmoil over so little a thing as attraction."

"Look, I know where we're headed is the last place in the 'verse you wanna go and if I could help it, I'd insist we go somewhere else, but we got legitimate business here-"

"And Jayne needs his trim," she practically spat, casting a death glare at the mercenary's bunk over her shoulder, "_Yu ben gan ni niang!"_

Wash raised an eyebrow at her outburst. "This is more serious than I thought."

River had the sudden urge to kick something and stood quickly letting her booted foot slam into the line of lockers next to the door of the bridge, letting out a half growl half scream in frustration. "She does not want any of it anymore. No more. It hurts."

She bit her lip to curb the hot tears of anger and disappointment that blurred her vision as several pairs of footsteps started to clop against the grating of the floor on there way to the bridge. "Ta ma de," she hissed. Had she kicked it that hard? Wash smiled up at her sympathetically, rubbing her back. "Mei-mei, things still have a chance of turning out well...even if you did choose an emotionally detached sadist as your first love interest."

River sniffled as she laughed slightly. River toed the edge of the locker as she wiped away her unshed tears just as Mal and Zoe entered the bridge.

"You didn't make her cry again did you?" Mal asked in disbelief and Wash managed to look shocked, outraged, and confused all at once. "Did we not already go over how this is not my job?"

"River, sweetie, you alright?" Zoe asked gently, having noticed River tensed. River nodded, her face hidden in the dark curtain of her hair and tensed further as, Jayne yelled from the mess hall, "Did she hit 'im?"

Wash made an angry face and rolled his eyes. "Such a caring individual."

"She must agree," River muttered, collapsing into the copilot's chair. Mal, satisfied that his surrogate daughter had not been reduced to tears by his somewhat bumbling pilot asked instead, "How close 'er we ta Aberdeen?"

"Couple of hours," Wash answered, wincing when River growled. Mal stared at her warily for a moment. "You, uh, feelin', uh, not crazy, Li'l Albatross, 'er do I need ta get the doc?"

No, she is fine, just_fine_," she answered through clenched teeth and when Mal and Zoe both turned to Wash he nodded to them in assurance as the two slowly backed out of the bridge.

Once they hit dirt, River exited Serenity, deciding she wouldn't care as to whether or not Jayne decided to get trim or not, sticking close to both Kaylee and Wash.

Mal threw her a smile and she only glared back at him, feeling a guilty when his smile faultered. It really wasn't his fault that Petaline had employed Mal to ship some cargo to them, though she felt he should have said no.

"You know I still think it's awful thoughtful o' them ta have boy-whores an' such," Kaylee whispered to River, "if'n I'd known cathouses was like this I'da been comin' to 'em with Jayne all the time."

River snorted with laughter and Wash paled. "Oh, Kaylee, I just love how you don't shy away from saying things that disturb both the Captain and myself."

"Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' truthful, Wash," Kaylee continued in her cheery tone as she helped Zoe lug a crate towards the strange looking building. "What's in here anyways?"

"Innoculatory drugs and food provisions that have recently become scarce due to the Alliance's push power over moons and planets whose populations are predominately independent supporters," River answered in a detached voice before adding, "the Alliance is trying desperately to regain control. Results vary depending on location.

It hadn't changed much since they had gone, though with the absence of Rance Burgess it seemed they had had a boost in business and though it reminded River of the saloons in the Western movies from Earth-That-Was that she watched with Mal when neither one of them could sleep it had an almost refined quality to it. The women and men all wore nicer clothes and the overall feel of the place was welcoming, just as it had been when Nandi had been in charge. They had built onto the building itself, adding more sitting rooms and a small floor for dancing, though it looked as if it was rarely used.

They had decided to stay so that Simon could giver each man and woman in the establishment an exam to make sure they were in perfect health and River was sure they would be staying for three days at most, which River noticed delighted Jayne. He was at the bar in a flash, knocking back mug after mug of beer, surrounded by women, including the whore he had been with when they had stopped at The Heart of Gold the first time. River decided it would be in her best interest to ignore him. There was nothing she could do and Jayne had warned her would most likely hurt her.

River set about focusing on Petaline, whose son, was clinging to her skirts stubbornly. "Yer all welcome ta full run a the place, Cap'n Reynolds. Only fair after all you done fer us an' whatnot. Not to mention Nandi'd come back ta get me if'n I said otherwise. We're gonna have a right nice little shindig here in y'all's honor tonight seein' as last time you as here it ended rather tragically an' y'all left on a sad note rather'n a happy one."

"Shiny, 'nother occasion to get prettied up!" Kaylee said with a clap and River grinned. It did sound like it would be fun and she felt she could use a little fun. The two spent the rest of their time in the room they were sharing, preparing for the festivitees. Both she and Kaylee had gone with semi casual as they both decided that if they were to dress up too much they may be mistaken for one of the working girls. Kaylee had decided on a dress soft pink dress that fishtailed and the slippers Simon had gotten her for Christmas, while River chose a green dress that flared while dancing (as most of her dresses did) and wore the gold beeded heels Inara had bought her to wear on special occasions. Wash set out a catcall as they descended the stairs. "Look how pretty and shiny my mei-meis are!"

"Very shiny," Zoe agreed and River smiled up at the woman who had donned a dress as well. "You look magnificent, Zoe."

Zoe blinked at the compliment and merely nodded. Mal swaggered over to the group with an armful of glasses and a large bottle of questionable alcohol. "Some ladies informed this should get us all good an' sloshed an' I expect that what we're all aimin' for seein' as this is a shindig. Let's just make sure it's a big damn shindig instead a a little one!"

They all hooted in unison, including Simon, which caused River's smiled to widen as they all clinked glasses. He had loosened up so much since Miranda, become so much more relaxed. He had almost completely stopped being a boob when it came to Kaylee and River was glad of it. Within the span of an hour, they were all feeling warm and fluffy as the-whatever it was; River still wasn't quite sure-began to take its desired effect. River let her eyes wander over the crowded smoke filled room and suddenly realized there was one very large, gruff man missing. Her heart stuttered for a moment and the grin that had been firmly in place for the better part of a half hour slid off.

"River," Wash exclaimed, slamming his hand down on the table in excitement, "let's get us some good ol' fashioned Earth-That-Was music going and have a go at the dance floor!"

Zoe began to chuckle slowly. "Honey, you ain't no good at dancin'. You'll break her toes."

"Then I'll dance with her," said one of the many male whores Kaylee had been questioning in her drunken curiosity. If River remembered correctly, his name was Alexander, but all the names had begun to blur together. River nodded. She really did want to dance with someone. She searched through the cortex for the specific song she had found one day while she and Wash had decided they needed some music while playing cards. It complimented the atmosphere perfectly.

As the first bluesy guitar riffs began to fill the room, Alexander suddenly spun her around expertly, completely catching her off guard. He knew how to dance. Kaylee and Mal whooped from their table as did several visiting customers and the floor began to fill. River remained tense for only a few moments as she was unused to total strangers touching and holding her close in such an intimate way, however the rhythm of both the music and their motions had begun to take over and River gave herself over completely, laughing as she kicked her leg up high in the air and followed Alexander's lead and everyone stepped back to watch as the two moved in perfect step with one another.

"_Love me one time girl, you know my knees got weak_..."

As the music kicked up further, Alexander spun River around at a dizzying speed as everyone cheered them on. The only one not cheering was Jayne. He had not expected to see River all cozy like in the arms of some manwhore. How Mal and Simon were allowin' River to dance with that snotnosed punk was beyond him. How she could enjoy dancin' with the piece of _le se_ was beyond him as well. It just weren't ruttin' right. His eyes slit suspiciously at the pair. Had River gotten it inta her head to pick herself up a piece a trim for her first time while he had been upstairs gettin' a piece of tasty himself? Jayne frowned. So she would ruttin' sleep with him, but she'd settle for some_ ji ba _she din't even know? That didn't seem at all right to Jayne; din't seem fair. Maybe she was tryin' to make him jealous? No, that couldn't have been it since she hadn't looked at him once since he come downstairs wit his favorite bit a trim, Candy.

He was disturbingly relieved when the pair finally broke away at as Kaylee butted in to dance with her friend and it seemed everyone was now dancing with everyone. Still the image of River pressed up against that dark headed manwhore was burned into his mind. In the midst of all the moving congregation, bottles of beer had been past through and Jayne was surprised when Mal leaned over and clinked bottles with River. Since when was he in the mood ta be lettin' her drink? Had he missed somethin'? He knew everybody had been treatin' her different after he'd started ignorin' her (which he had done in an attempt to better assess his feelins and come up with no answers), but now they was lettin' run wild? That weren't right!

"You alright, Darlin'?" Candy asked beside him as she bobbed her head along to the music. Jayne only nodded. "You wanna dance," she asked to which he responded mechanically, "I only dance when I'm drunk."

"Well, best start gettin' drunk," she said, handing him another bottle of beer.

River was still feeling sore and tender on the inside, though the alcohol had dulled the pain significantly. Being this intoxicated had its upside. She was no longer able to inadvertently pick up people's thoughts-no matter how loud they were-and instead was more focused on her own. She managed to break away from the crowded floor along side Mal saying in an a terribly slurred manner, "We should do some bonding. Like the kind of things fathers and daughters do."

"Kay," Mal said as he stumbled beside her in their quest to find something substantial to lean on besides one another, "what you suggest, L'il Albatross?"

"How about a drunken shoot off?"

Mal lurched forward at her inadvertently, as he tried to focus a scrutinizing glare. "That sounds dangerous," he said finally, swaying once more before grinning. "I'm in!"

They managed to stumble out into the surrounding darkness and chose a nearby tree for their target. He handed one of his revolvers over to River and Wash's panicked, "Uh, should you really be having a drunk shoot off," brought Mal's attention to the fact that the crew had followed them outside.

"I think we can still sorta shoot okay...kinda," Mal said reassuringly, though Wash's worried expression did not lessen.

"Aw, hell, Mal, you ain't stupid 'nough to go through with this are ya," Jayne asked incredulously, as he and Candy emerged from the doorway, his arm slung over her shoulders. He noticed River tense the slightest bit and guilt washed over him once more.

"I am," Mal declared drunkenly, causing Zoe to finally snort with the laughter she had been trying to hold in, "an so is Rinver!"

"Rinver," Wash said slowly, "did you just call her Rinver?!"

"Just cause I can't be articlate at the moment don't mean I can't shoot none, _Wash_," Mal spat defensively. River leveled the gun on the tree. "My vision is funny. It's as if I'm staring at a Monet."

"Who's Mony?" Mal asked, squinting towards the tree, "if'n she's over there she best move. More'n likely I might shoot 'er."

"No, _Monet_, impressionist painter from Earth-That-was. It looks like a Monet up close." River pulled her heels off and continued to stare down the tree as she pulled of a shot, nicking the side of the tree.

"Ha!" Mal crowed, "I can do better than that!"

He threw his arm forward and shot, seconds before collapsing to the ground unconscious.

"Guess he forfeits," Zoe said slowly as she bent down to pick him up, taking the revolver from River. "So much for bonding," River muttered dejectedly and she bent down to help Zoe, "he and Simon take so much looking after."

"Got that right," Wash laughed as he helped the two. River shoulder past Jayne roughly without so much as a glance in his direction. The three stumbled up the stairs. Mal had gone completely slack and their combined drunkeness made it all the more difficult to keep balance.

"_Go se_, I don't ever remember Mal bein' that heavy," Zoe exhaled as they let him fall back on his bed in his room. River rubbed her forehead slowly. "I think I am in the beginning stages of my hangover."

"Better get some sleep then," Wash urged as he guided her to the door and across the hall to hers and Kaylee's room. Wash kissed the crown of her head in a brotherly fashion as he gently nudged her into the room and River collapsed on the bed, not bothering to undress or even crawl under the covers. It was summer on Aberdeen and the humidity was stifling. As River beagn to drift in to unconsciousness she thought she caught the faint scent of gun oil and cigars nearby. She let out a halfhearted snort and mumbled loudly, "stupid boy."

* * *

Go se: shit 

yu ben gan ni niang: stupid motherfucker

le se: trash

ji ba: prick

Ta ma de: fuck me


	9. Lost

**I own nothing.**

* * *

River couldn't really pay attention to anything anyone said to her. She had had a very intriguing dream. In it, she had remembered everything anyone had ever uttered about the changes in Alliance control since Miranda and she had begun to think. The Alliance was still too meddlesome for her liking. Punishing those who did not deserve to be punished. Still hurting young men and women like herself. They still believed they had the right to control everyone and River did not like being controlled one bit. Anytime the Alliance was mentioned her ears perked up, but other than that, she remained silent and almost withdrawn as she was focused solely on her own thoughts. There had to be something she could do. After all, Miranda may have weakened the Alliance's hold on the 'verse, but they were still a ruling power. Parliament still retained its original members and everyday they authorized more testing on human subjects. Everyday, they ignored staunch supporters on rim planets who needed help because they felt those people were expendable. Because of them people were ending up broken or worse.

She had left the Heart of Gold in favor of spending her time back on Serenity their last day on Aberdeen where she could search the cortex for the information she had decided needed compiling desperately. Names, locations, security codes, test subject files were neatly stored in her mind. She even went so far as to memorize building blueprints of each government operated facility. She emerged late in the afternoon to find Kaylee sunbathing outside with several of the more companionable whores.

"You been awful quiet like today," Kaylee observed. River shrugged. "I needed to gather data to formulate a plan."

"What kinda plan?" Kaylee asked and was slightly hurt when River shrugged and refused to answer. She watched people mill about the property. Mal was strolling with Inara though it was obvious they were fighting and River knew that the companion would once again leave for Shinon. Zoe and Wash were playing a game of checkers in the shade, and Jayne of course, was charming as many ladies as he could, oblivious to anything and everyone that didn't involve sex. It amused River slightly to see the jealous look on Candy's face, but at the same time she felt sympathy for the woman for she too was jealous.

"Wonder if he's kissed any a them on the mouth," Kaylee mused aloud, "Ya know, since he kissed you an' all."

River shrugged as nonchalantly as possible, toeing at a loose pebble on the ground as Laura, one of the only whores River had become even remotely friendly with braided her hair. "Anything is possible with Jayne Cobb at this point. He steps forwards and backwards with every passing moment."

"You let him kiss you on the mouth," Laura asked curiously, "was it any good?"

River shrugged off the question and Kaylee did what she did best: gossiped. "Heck ya it was! He was even actin' sweet on 'er there for a moment. Then he just went back ta actin' like the same ol' mean guy he is."

"That's menfolk for ya," Laura sighed, "they's flightier than women, I think."

River tuned out as Kaylee and the other women babbled on about their trouble with men. She had more pressing things to think on. Ideas were popping in the forefront of her brain like firecrackers, stinging her eyes and ears. River sighed suddenly, drawing Laura from her conversation with the others and she whispered to River, "You know, I think he's just confused. I been 'round tons a men like him. They don't know what ta do once they got a woman they consider a keeper. It ain't yer fault he's thick."

River tried to smile, but found she couldn't. Her mind was all swirls and crackles, like a storm of electricity. "He is much smarter than he lets on. Too much scar tissue on the inside; makes him wary. Harpies in swan feathers took away his ability to trust."

Laura made a face at River's cryptic observation and River looked back over to Jayne and found him staring back at her. "Moths never turn into butterflies."

That Laura understood. "He is rough 'round the edges."

River and Kaylee both nodded and Kaylee smirked at her younger friend. "Maybe ya oughta get a little friendly with that boy whore form the party, River. He weren't to bad lookin'."

Despite herself, River laughed, collapsing back on Laura. "Simon would be so irate. He would have an aneurysm!"

Kaylee laughed along with her and Laura frowned. "Why would the Doc care?"

"He's her brother an' he don't get that she ain't a little girl no more," Kaylee laughed, "don't forget Cap'n either. He'd be awful sore about it. I say ya do it just outta spite. They all need ta understand if you wanna do some sexin' ya can."

River shrugged and tried hard to ignore the fact that Jayne was boring into her with his fiercest glare. Either he thought she was making fun of him or he knew what they were talking about. _What should he care? _she thought to herself bitterly, _If I'm not to be upset with him, then he has no right to be upset with me._

She stared back at him with her best 'can-I-help-you-man-ape' look and rolled her eyes when he only glared more. She growled to herself. "Sex is not a top priority at the moment. Besides, you and Simon have enough sex for the entire crew."

Kaylee reddened at that and the whores fell into fits of giggles, River smiling proudly to herself, that she had finally been able to embarrass Kaylee as Kaylee was forever embarrassing her. "It is okay, Kaylee, if I had someone I would sex them all the time, too."

* * *

Saying things had become more than a little awkward on Serenity was an understatement. No matter what Jayne tried to say or do to get River's attention were only met with indifference. Gettin' trim right under her nose had obviously been a bad idea. 'Course, Jayne rarely had good ideas. However, he had thought kissin' Candy had been a brilliant idea. It was nothin' like kissin' River. He had gone on thinkin' it was a good idea until he'd gone an' told her about it and she stared up at him with her patented 'you-are-such-a-boob' look as she tried to move past him. He'd tried explainin' it meant he wasn't attracted to her in the same way he was to River and she said in her usual monotone response, "yet you had sex with her...more than once. Your behavior is contradictory."

He had argued it was different than kissin' and she had asked how. He couldn't come up with an answer that satisfied her and so she had gone back to ignoring him. Even her Gorram shadow of a cat seemed to be ignorin' him, though sometimes it would stare at him in an almost superior manner. He had blown it. There was no other way to explain it. He tried ignoring her back. It didn't work. He tried being meaner than ever. She ignored him.

It occurred to Jayne that him followin' the crazy girl around was causin' the entire crew to become suspicious. Mal and Simon would stare at him suspiciously, Wash would sigh and shake his head, Zoe would watch him like a hawk with an unreadable expression (which was worse than what Simon an' Mal was doin' in his opinion), and Kaylee would stare at him as if he'd eaten the last of her freeze dried strawberries.

River was driving him up the wall. He was about to willingly throw himself out the airlock. One day, he managed to corner near the passenger dorms. After playing an intense game of cat and mouse as she tried every which way she could to side step him without so much as a glance in his direction, Jayne grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and shook her. "If ya cared so much, then why didn't ya try an' stop me?! Why'd you go on an' let me do somethin' sa Gorram stupid?"

She stared up at him with wide, sad eyes as she said in a forlorn voice, "She did not want to tame you. She wanted you to come to her of your own accord. Be loyal to her because it was what you really wanted. She does not wish to change Jayne. Jayne is wild and she likes him that way."

Jayne didn't know how to respond so asked instead. "You still gonna be mad at me all the time?"

She looked away, afraid the tears that burned the back of her eyes would become visible. "She was never really angry, just hurt."

"If it makes you feel better," he said haltingly, "I been way past likin' ya fer a good while now."

"You are such a boob," she sniffled and her rubbed her back soothingly to try and calm her. "Ain't that the ruttin' truth."

"You still have a lot of growing to do," she murmured, letting him pull her into a soft embrace to which she slowly responded by wrapping her arms around his waist. Her shoulders shook and Jayne fought the panic that rose from within as he realized she was crying.

"Aw, c'mon," Jayne stuttered out, "I hate it when ya cry. Makes me feel like I done kicked yer cat 'er somethin'."

"You would never kick Slightly." Her voice was muffled by his shirt. "She would dismember you if you did."

"Hey, you tryin' ta turn me on with all this dirty talk?" He asked lightly, succeeding in making her smile a bit. "Only you would be turned on by violent threats."

Jayne nodded and tugged on a strand of her hair teasingly. "I'm thinkin' it's one a the many things you like about me."

"It is," she agreed, pulling away to gaze up at him with her big doe eyes and Jayne couldn't help but smile more. The fact that her big brown eyes made him melt inside just a bit didn't bother him so much anymore. Still made him nervous an' skittish, but he liked it. She gave him a quick squeeze and stepped away. "Captain Daddy is coming. I shall come find you later."

True to her word, River snuck out of her room and into Jayne's bunk long after the rest of Serenity had gone to sleep. She smiled when she found Jayne reading the book she had given him. "Do you like it?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, still don't get how it's 'bout me, but ain't but a couple pages inta it."

She smiled and Jayne was more than a little worried when it didn't quite reach her eyes. "What's the matter, Moony?"

She crawled up onto the bed and curled herself into his arms. "Complications have arisen in the 'verse. The bird may be forced to fly; leave its nest. It does not want to."

"You know better'n anybody on this boat that thins ain't ever simple, Darlin'," he said slowly as he ran his fingers through her hair, "if'n they were, life wouldn't be all that great."

She looked up at him then and said in a quiet voice barely above a whisper, "Jayne, I'm ready."

* * *

No matter what, Jayne was afraid that River could see everything and every now and then, it would make him nervous and withdraw. River would remain patient because she knew just as he did, that he would come back. He had begun to notice things he hadn't previously noticed. The way she shook when she was crying and the way she shook when she was cold were completely different. She actually found his morbid, off color, sense of humor amusing. He had discovered this when he told one of his raunchiest jokes and saw her lips twitch as she tried to suppress her laugh-just as Zoe had done so often before Miranda. The riddles he never understood, he wasn't meant to understand because the consequences of him knowin' could be unsavory. She never wore her boots while on Serenity because, like Kaylee, she had a strange connection to the ship. When she cried, instead of her eyes becoming bloodshot, they became almost glassy and light refractive. When she smiled, she really meant it-she never smiled to cover how she truly felt about something.

He now understood why she thought they were so similar. When something intrigued her, she cocked her head to the side, much like he did. She often thought things that were violent were funny. He noticed this one day on Deadwood when one of the bandits they had shot down had had the misfortune to have passed out from pain and his head was crushed by the wagon when his comrades had retreated. Both he and River had laughed because it had reminded them of a grape being squished. Zoe and Mal had stared at them as if they had gone mad as they laughed and carried on about it at the bar in town. Like him, she had perfect aim and killing was what she was meant to do. She enjoyed a good fight just as much as Jayne did and didn't hesitate to jump into the fray.

Most importantly, she was just as stubborn and passionate about things as he was. Their fights revolved around things they couldn't agree on and refused to compromise over. They would end up screamin' and throwin' things at one another until they were blue in the face. Once she gave him a strong right hook to the jaw, knocking him to the floor, his mouth tasting of blood. In a split second Jayne went from bein' completely enraged to completely turned on. He had dragged her down into his bunk while no one was paying attention and had proceed to have the roughest sex of his life. It made him wish they would fight more often.

The sex was definitely worth giving up bachelorhood, Jayne had decided-not that the rest of the relationship wasn't a factor as he enjoyed River's company more than anyone else's on Serenity. He liked that afterwards he felt satisfied and fulfilled, but still needed and wanted more. It was different every time. Sometimes, it was soft and gentle and painfully slow and other times it was rough, hard, and fast-animalistic even. He always felt he needed more and he loved that even in the middle of the night when he'd roll back on top of her to have another go at it she'd tease, "It's about time." She was always ready for him.

The only thing that really bothered him was that she had changed him without really trying to. He'd stopped going out for trim without even a thought to it. He'd stopped back talking Mal so much-though he really couldn't help it if Mal did make him a mite anger with those stupid plans of his and his no fraternization with the crazy-girl rule. He even started talking to Simon without managing to cast an inappropriate barb at the good doctor. The first time it had happened, Mal had stared at him in utter confusion, "You goin' soft in the head, Jayne?"

"Just tryin' to be amiable, Mal, ain't nothin' more'n that. But if you want I can beat him up later," Jayne had replied, slightly pissed that Mal had called it to everyone's attention. When Simon had tried to make one of his smart ass comments about him and apes, he'd pulled his bowie knife and skewered an apple in the bowl on the table right in front of Simon with enough force that everyone, except River had jumped. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her lips twitching as she watched her brother suddenly pale. Simon had stuttered as Kaylee tried to tell him Jayne didn't mean nothin' by it to which Jayne had said in a low rumble, "I did."

It was because of all this that Jayne was finally able to realize when River had left, that he loved her and had probably always loved her. No one had ever really aggravated him the way she had-her bein' crazy hadn't really bothered him all that much. But as a whole, she had made him nervous, made him feel strange. His unease around her had always been undefinable, his dislike as well. When he realized she was gone and plannin' on bein' gone for good, something inside him-something he thought hadn't been in workin' order in a long time-broke.

Jayne had never been a heavy sleeper, but somehow it had taken him longer than usual to identify the strange sound that had roused him. It took him only a moment longer to realize River wasn't beside him and a moment after that to realize what she had meant about the bird in the nest. Swearing loudly, Jayne burst forth from his bunk just as Mal's own hissed open.

"What was that noise," Mal muttered in his sleep induced haze. Jayne pulled Mal from the mouth of the hatch as he kicked the hatch of Zoe and Wash's bunk as loudly as possible. "That was the sound a River makin' off with the spare shuttle, Mal!"

Jayne waited impatiently as what he had said slowly began to register in the Captain's mind. Wash was the first out of the bunk and Jayne dragged him up in much the same way he had Mal, pushing him toward the bridge. "Moony done run off, go do yer pilot tracker thing, Little Man."

"River, ran off," Zoe yelled from the depths of her bunk, "Wo de ma, what on earth for?"

"Well, maybe we should ask her that. Oh, wait, _she ain't here!_" Jayne snarled down at her spitefully. Mal continued to stare off into space, too overcome with shock to say anything.

"Jayne, why ya yellin'?" Kaylee asked as she pushed open her bunk hatch.

Zoe climbed out at that moment and started towards the bridge. "River's run off."

"What? Why?" Kaylee cried, immediately tearing up, "she ain't exactly been herself lately but-"

"She's disabled everything I could possibly use to track her," Wash called to Zoe, "whatever she's planning on doing, she doesn't want us stopping her."

"Well, what do we do, Mal, I mean how do we find her?" Kaylee turned to Mal, who was still incapacitated from sheer shock.

"Kaylee, go wake the Doc and see if he don't know anything that might help us in understandin' why she'd do this," Zoe instructed, stepping in for Mal. Kaylee nodded and hurried down towards the passenger rooms as fast as she could.

"Wash, I need to every planet, moon, any and all terra-formed surfaces close enough for the shuttle to reach without runnin' out of fuel."

"Right," he called back. Zoe leveled her eyes on the now silent mercenary. He was shaking visibly and she wasn't sure if it were out of anger or some other unidentifiable emotion. Maybe that kiss had meant more to the man than she'd thought.

"Jayne," Kaylee called softly as she approached him, her voice quavering as she extended her hand to give him an envelope, "found this on the table in the mess. Got yer name on it an' it's in River's handwritin'."

Jayne ripped it from her hands so quickly, Kaylee jumped back. Simon ran up to stand by Kaylee. "Everything in her room is gone and I can't find Slightly."

Zoe kept her eyes trained on Jayne as he read through the letter. "She say anything out of the ordinary to you?"

Simon shook his head in despair. "Nothing. She's just been quieter than usual."

"What's it say, Jayne," Zoe asked, but Jayne had lost both the ability to speak and see. His vision was clouded in red and he felt like cryin'-somethin' he hadn't done since he was seven. He fell back onto the stairs leading into the bridge and began to shake.

"Jayne?" Kaylee asked in a fearful voice. She had never seen him look so angry and hurt. Jayne looked up at Zoe with a look in his eyes that made her blood run cold and her body go numb with what she assumed was fear.

"I want her back," he said in a deceptively calm voice before yelling, "and I want her back _now_!"

Both Kaylee and Simon jumped, Zoe flinched. "Why do you care whether or not she's here?" Simon finally managed to ask, though he mentally berated himself after having said it. He really did not want to provoke Jayne when he was this unstable. Jayne only stared past him with an unreadable expression on his face as Zoe pried the letter from his hands and read it silently.

_Jayne,_

_I didn't want to do this, but I have to. Things need to be done in the 'verse, things to make it a better 'verse for us. I've seen what you dream about-you're a really loud dreamer, Bao-bei- and the only way we can have that is if we stop running. I need you to understand that I'm not doing this because I don't...I love you, Jayne, I do. Even if you don't think I do since I left, I do. I promise to come back. I'm sorry it has to be this way. Please take care of everyone, you know as well as I do how much looking after they require. Don't be as mean to Simon-he's just as upset as you are. Make sure Kaylee doesn't cry too much. She can't keep Serenity flying if she can't see through her tears. Keep Captain and Zoe safe- they'll be your map. Don't let Wash forget the story. He knows how the ending goes and how to change it._

_I love you, Jayne._

_love,_

_River_

Zoe folded up the letter. "Wash, get a hold of Inara tell her to be on the lookout. Check all the news feeds for any out of the ordinary Alliance news you can and keep checking it. I need you to set a course for Persephone."

Before she turned to go to the mess to fix a pot of coffee, she laid a firm hand on Jayne's shoulder. "We're gonna find her, Jayne, I swear. We'll find her."

* * *

wo de ma: mother of god 

bao-bei: sweetheart


	10. Found

**I own nothing. Reviews are awesome.**_  
_

* * *

_One year later..._

"Hey, kid," someone yelled as they kicked the hatch to her bunk. River frowned in exasperation as the hatch hissed open and a tall, lanky, yet well muscled man dropped in. His blue eyes shined gleefully. "You almost ready? We got some havoc needs wreakin'."

She pulled at the strap of the shotgun lying across her chest and adjusted her long coat. "I hate it when you call me kid, Matt."

He rolled his eyes and watched as she strapped a gun holster to her thigh, his eyes glazing over lustfully. "Well, we're docked an' Delilah an' Barrett are ready ta go."

"Be there in a minute."

He climbed out of her bunk with a quick nod and River patted Slightly, who was napping on her bed before she climbed out after Matt not a second later. Her eyes narrowed as she met the blond woman with plump lips out on the ramp. She reminded her of the women Jayne had been attracted to and River felt guilty for being jealous. She still wished she looked like her at times. The woman nodded to her curtly as she checked her own weapons. "This gonna go smoothly or is one of us gonna get shot?"

"Smooth as silk, Boss," River said as she followed the woman to meet Matt and a big hulking man who reminded her of Book the way he cornrowed his hair. He smiled down at her, sweat breaking over his dark brow as the sun beat down on them. "Hey there, Witchy Woman."

River adjusted her ear piece as Barrett and Matt hefted two large bags full of explosives onto his back.

"Parliament is in session and all members accounted for," Delilah said as they pushed inconspicuously through the crowded streets towards the tallest building on Londinium. River tugged on her long sleeves as they had begun to ride up.

"A murder of crows," she murmured to herself, snickering softly. Delilah and Barrett both frowned. Matt smiled; he'd gotten it. He reminded her so much of Jayne, yet he was so very different. They paused in the dark alleyway next to the building behind a large waste receptacle and Matt and Barret began the arduous task of unlocking one of the back doors.

"Set grenades for one hour," Delilah instructed her as she helped pry away a ventilation panel. River fought the urge to roll her eyes. She knew what to do. It reminded her of the way Simon would instruct the others who were put in charge of her whenever he left the ship. Matt handed her a small bag filled to the brim with grenades, winking as he did so and she ignored him. Without another word, she slithered into the vent, Delilah closing it behind her and began to crawl her way up, planting grenade after grenade as she did so.

Upon reaching the eighth floor she crawled out of the vent shaft into the custodian's closet and listened intently for several seconds. It was clear, keeping to the walls, away from the cameras, just in case Barrett and Matt had failed in their mission of taking out the guards on surveillance duty she made her way to the twentieth story and stood silently outside the door to the chamber room. The seven remaining parliament members could be heard arguing heatedly over the situation. Little did they know, the situation was standing right outside their door. She managed to slip in unnoticed. There were two dozen empty seats. All her doing. She crouched down behind the half-wall and listened as one of the more fanatical members, Cedric Fairchild yelled heatedly.

"The Independents are growing stronger and stronger by the day, infiltrating every high security facility that is Alliance based on Core planets. Why is nothing being done? Why aren't any of the test subjects ready for deployment?"

"They would have been if security had been up to par. We wouldn't have lost our most advanced-"

"Tam is gone. You must understand, these are living beings. What was done to them was-if we did deploy what subjects we could it's doubtful they would follow orders-"

"Then, I move for us to shut it down and destroy all evidence of it ever having existed," Fairchild bellowed, "if it will not help us retain power, govern the people, then we have no use for it." There was her cue. Letting her bowie knife fly, spearing one man in the neck, River shot up into the air, landing on Fairchild as the blade strapped to her right wrist shot forth and connected with the soft tissue just above his collarbone, causing blood to spurt in all directions. "Trick or treat," she whispered.

One female parliament member let out a startled cry and River lunged forward, the other blade shooting from under the sleeve of her left wrist as she sliced through each member in a deadly dance of cat and mouse. They stampeded towards the door, crowding together conveniently and she ripped through one, two, three as they fought to open the door in their panic. She retracted both blades and retrieved her bowie knife once the last member had fallen, gurgling. She stepped out of the room and raced back to the janitor's closet. She only had twenty minutes to get back. It was going to be close. She dropped through vent shaft after vent shaft, kicking open the casing that lead to freedom. Delilah reached in and pulled her out as she fought for air, jerking her into a run as they raced the several blocks to the rendezvous point.

"You know, I wish we could brag about this stuff," Matt said, a cigar clenched in his teeth as he watched River and Delilah jog towards them. He pushed the detonator button just as the grenades went off, "be kinda nice ta be able ta tell my older brother I'm responsible fer the fall o' the Alliance."

"We still have the Academy ta deal wit'," Barrett said as he exhaled, putting his own cigar back to his lips, "'Sides you can write yer brother an' tell 'em you blow stuff up fer a living."

"So, how'd it go, kid," Matt asked as he ashed his cigar, "you slice 'em up good?"

"Waves of crimson, chorus of gurgles," she breathed heavily, her breathing becoming even once more. Matt smirked at her. "Means you'll let me take ya out fer a drink right?"

"She does not belong to you," she snorted, "you have no concept of ownership."

Delilah sighed beside her. "Let's go back and wave our contact. Something tells me we'll be needing more supplies if we're to take on the Academy."

It was almost done. River could feel the end drawing near. She only hoped everything went according to plan.

* * *

Jayne stared out into the black in the copilot's seat as they came in closer to Persephone and Wash swore it was as if he expected to find River just floating along. Besides Zoe, Wash was the only one who knew what the letter had said. Simon had persistent in that he had the right to know what River had written and Jayne had done his best to ignore him until he had caught Simon rummaging through his things when he had come back to his bunk late one night from weight lifting. The sound of Jayne's thunderous roar had awakened everyone on the ship as it was quickly punctuated with crack of Jayne's fist hitting Simon's face over and over. It had never occurred to Simon that Jayne carried that letter with him everywhere, reading it over and over when he felt nobody would catch him, though both Zoe and Mal had caught him on several occasions. 

"I finished that book," Jayne said, bringing Wash from his thoughts. "It is about me."

Wash nodded. "Yeah, you and her."

Jayne rubbed his eyes tiredly and looked over at the pilot with an unreadable expression. "She was beautiful bird."

"She still is, Jayne," Wash said reassuringly as possible. It felt awkward. Never in a million years had he thought he'd be having a conversation about lost loves with Jayne Cobb, but it had begun six months ago when Mal had finally called off their search. They had all objected, even Zoe. It had been the first time any of them had seen her disagree with Mal.

She had been on Sihnon for an extended period when River had left and had raced to be at Mal's side.

"She ain't comin' back, though," Jayne whispered, "ain't never comin' back."

"It's big 'verse, but it ain't that big," Wash replied as they broke atmosphere. "We'll find her. Or she'll find us."

"Even if she did," Jayne said slowly, hoping the pilot who considered her a sister would understand, "don't think I can trust 'er. Far as I know she didn't care. Even if she said she did. Even geniuses lie. Bet they lie better'n reglar folk, too."

He stared down at his boots as Wash watched him with growing sadness. "Shoulda never kissed 'er on the mouth."

"Is that really how you feel?"

When Jayne looked up at him, Wash felt almost cold inside, like he was staring at someone whose soul was hollow and full of some darkness he had never seen before.

"Yeah, it is."

* * *

Jayne wasn't paying attention. Mal could tell by the way he stared down at his tea cup full of wood alcohol. Usually he would be stuffing his face with the tiny finger sandwiches and guzzling the booze as Badger watched in disgust. Something just weren't right with him anymore. Even before River had left, he'd been actin' all kinds of strange an' now it was worse. He was actin' as if someone had made off with Vera. 

"Need some goods shipped to a few Independent rebel friends 'o mine out stationed on Santo," Badger said in his thick accent as he eyed the mercenary. He seemed unnerved by the alteration in Jayne's countenance as well as he continued, "you'll like them, Reynolds. Rumor has it them are the ones that took down parliament. An' they're leader, she's a real looker. Pays good, too, though I don't know how she gets that much money. Got ta be funded somehow."

"Well, took out parliament," Mal laughed, "I like 'em already."

"I never was one for the Alliance myself and seeing as whatever group it is been goin' about blowin' their bases an' whatnot without gettin' caught seems like a group I'd rather support that oppose. Know what I mean?"

Though Mal had a rule about not being privy to what cargo was transporting, he had to ask and Badger shrugged. "What else? Explosives. One a the men has a real penchant for blowin' things up. You up for it?"

"When am I not?" Mal asked and Badger nodded, an odd glint in his eye. "Reynolds, you always was up for trouble."

They had left Badger's and headed straight for the bar. Instead of mixing with the rest of the crew, Jayne sat hunched over the bar. Mal frowned at Jayne's back. "I just don't get it. I ain't never seen a man act that way 'cept the ones that came back from the war an' Jayne ain't been in no war."

"He is acting a bit rundown," Simon said slowly, refusing the refill Wash offered, "maybe I should give him some medication for depression just in case."

"Ain't nothin' gonna help that man," Zoe said and Wash agreed silently as she went on, "what done gone wrong with him can't be fixed. Won't be fixed for a long time, if it ever even does start to fix."

"You privy ta some information, Zoe, best be tellin' me," Mal said, staring at his first mate solemnly. She shook her head. "At this point, you knowin' ain't gonna do him any good. No need for you ta know anyways."

* * *

Santo was a dust bowl, nothin' but rocks and dirt. Jayne hated it. He hated everything. He hated his job. He hated the crap food he had ta eat every Gorram day. He hated his tiny cramped bunk. He hated the way Kaylee still found a way to smile about everything. He hate Mal for not continuin' the search to find River. He hated that he still carried that stupid letter around with him. He hated that he'd takin' up whorin' again. He hated that Zoe and Wash were happy. He hated that he'd lost River. It was his own Gorram fault though. He'd just pushed her away too many Gorram times. 

The they parked the muled and pulled out the crates as a tall attractive blond woman and a man larger than himself came up to meet them.

"Captain Reynolds," the woman greeted with a nod that was not completely unfriendly. The dark man beside her cracked his knuckles and looked Zoe up and down appreciatively, causing her to say in and icy voice, "Don't even think about it."

Jayne zoned out as Mal and the lady, Delilah she said was her name, talked shop. He didn't sense any danger, but he felt bad for letting his mind wander. He was on a job. He needed to focus. If he didn't, Mal might get rid of him. Then he'd be out a girl and a family.

"All I'm askin' fer is one Gorram date, kid, just one," whined an extremely familiar voice. He didn't hear the reply, but he squinted as he watched the tall man a few paces back, an large rifle propped up against his shoulder. Whoever he was arguing with was obscure by the large man named Barrett.

"Yer the one that done run off to pull all this go se. You ain't obligated ta do it, though I sure am glad ya did. Nice bit a tasty like you," he leered. Jayne heard a small growl and the man called over his shoulder, "Awright, be back in a few, kid."

He finally turned toward the group and his eyes widened. "Jayne?!"

Jayne felt as if he had been yanked outta his own body. "Matty, that you?!"

"Holy shit, Jayne, that is you," the younger man said as he stepped forward just as Zoe and Mal both lifted there guns to him. Jayne pushed Mal's gun down just as Delilah and Barrett drew theirs.

"Don't worry, Boss," Matt said as he stepped up to Jayne, "man's kin."

"What in the Gorram hell you doin'?" Jayne asked as he embraced his younger brother, trying to keep the shock out of his voice. Matt grinned up at him. "Been blowin' things up. Left home when I got better an' somehow ended up here."

Delilah raised her eyebrow at the pair. "Thought I saw a resemblance."

She turned to Mal. "Care to come on board for a drink?"

Mal, not being one to pass up free alcohol readily agreed.

"So, what is it you do?" he asked as they stood on the gangplank, beer in hand. Matt shrugged, trying hard not to grin too proudly. "Top secret type stuff."

Jayne smiled. For the first time in a while, he felt happy. He had missed his brother and had been sorry he hadn't gotten a chance to see him when they had been on Kerry.

"Heard tell you brought a girl home last visit," Matt said and Jayne shifted his gaze to Mal. Confident Mal wasn't listening he said in a low voice, "Wasn't mine at the time. Was after wards."

"She good lookin'?" Matt asked before laughing, "A course she was. You was always good at pickin' 'em. She still with you?"

Jayne shook his head. "What about you?"

"Girl on the crew I'm tryin' ta get. Bein' real difficult about it."

Mal who had come in on the tail end of the conversation put a hand on Matt's shoulder. "They're difficult about everything."

"Yeah, well this one ain't always all there either if you know what I mean," Matt said with a snort, "likes ta talk in riddles an' any time I ask 'er out she gets ta talkin' 'bout how she ain't my bird 'er some nonsense-"

Noticing both Jayne and Mal had frozen, Matt frowned. "What?"

But Jayne didn't answer. He had pushed past his brother and was storming his way up into the crew cabins. He could hear Mal a few paces behind him. He looked at each hatch before kicking in one. If he had been on this ship, it would have been the bunk he would have picked, too.

"I know you're down there, River, now get your ass out here!" He yelled. He was met with silence.

"Li'l Albatross, if'n yer in there, you best do what Jayne says," Mal ordered. They both backed up as they heard her feet on the ladder rungs.

"What the Gorram hell makes you think you can just wander about my ship like that?" Delilah asked, her gun trained on Mal. Barrett was gripping Zoe's arm tightly, pointing a gun at her.

"Come on now, Boss, Jayne's my brother, he's got reason, I'm sure," Matt said, stepping in front of the gun.

"Oh, I got reason," Jayne snarled, "I'm about to beat some moon brained girl's scrawny _pi gu_!"

Delilah hammered back the trigger. "Move Matt or I'll shoot right through you."

River stepped out of the bunk slowly, careful to keep her head down and Jayne bellowed at her, "Ya ain't even gonna look at me?"

She looked up at him then, her brown eyes full of tears. "You're very early," she said in a whisper.

Jayne huffed, his anger ebbing away as the tears began to fall.

"What'd you make my girl cry for?" Matt whined. Jayne's jaw clenched and River wanted to punch Matt right in his big fat mouth. She continued to stare up at Jayne, pleading with her eyes for him to understand.

"Well, found 'er," Jayne bit out, turning away from her and pushing past Barrett, who loosened his grip on Zoe, "best take her back to her brother so's he can see his _precious mei-mei_."

River started to reach out towards him, but stopped herself, turning away from them so they couldn't see the tears burning her eyes as she whispered brokenly, "But I did it all for you."

Zoe shoved Barrett away roughly and came to River's side, placing a strong hand on the girl's shoulder. "Let's all go back to Serenity, honey, see if we can't open up some eyes and ears."

River nodded mutely and six of them headed back out of the small ship, River never leaving Zoe's side and Zoe never taking her hand from the girl's shoulder. Jayne had taken the mule back by himself once Mal had told them the group would take the long trek back. The walk back was silent, Mal trying to understand why River was crying, why Zoe was being so sympathetic, and why he wasn't more angry with the girl.

Once back, Simon, Wash, and Kaylee had swarmed River, hugging her tightly. Kaylee had cried tears of joy and Simon had nearly cried tears of relief. Wash looked up suddenly, his eyes searching for someone. "Where'd Jayne go?"

River just looked up at him with glassy eyes and shook her head and Wash felt a sudden pang of heartbreak for her. "Oh, mei-mei, I'm sorry."

At his last words she gave a small cry and collapsed in his arms as he hugged her, trying to convey his sympathies as Zoe came up from behind and embraced her as well.

"Zoe, you ain't goin' soft on me are ya?" Mal asked suspiciously. Zoe shook her head. "Just happy to have a crew member back is all, Sir."

River broke away from the two and shook her head. "I'm not coming back. I still have more to do."

A chorus of objections began and Delilah's hand went up. "I think I get what went on and I'm sure you'd all like an explanation as to why she can't come back just yet."

Mal nodded. "Yes, I'm thinkin' an explanation would be good."

"Is there somewhere on this boat we might sit?" Delilah asked and Mal ushered them all into the mess. Jayne was sitting at the table with a large bottle of whiskey while he sharpened his knives, his feet propped up on the table. When he saw River he glared at her. "What, they ain't left yet? Why they still here?"

River shrank back slightly, burrowing into the closest person's side. Unfortunately, that person happened to be Matt and Jayne's eyes narrowed further as he turned away and drank from the whiskey bottle.

"Jayne, play nice," Mal said in a strained voice and Jayne glared up at him. "I ain't playin', Mal. Just bein' honest."

Mal completely ignored him as everybody seated themselves around the table, River seating herself between Wash and Matt, who kept staring at her inquisitively. Delilah took a deep breath. "After the Miranda wave, people's faith in the Alliance was shaken; an' rightfully so. My parent's along with Barrett's were independents an' it rubbed off on us. We're from rim planets where the Alliance didn't really bother ta look after those they fought sa hard ta control. 'Fact they pretty much abandoned us after they took over, bunch ruttin' _hun dans_. So, after Miranda, some settlements on various planets an' moons started revoltin' an' the Alliance didn't take to kindly ta common folk-_decent folk_- stirrin' up trouble. They started cuttin' of medical supplies, food supplies, anythin' people needed out there ta survive. Lot a people are dead 'er worse cause of it. Myself an' Barrett met up lookin' fer work in one of the underground independent groups that started a movement. We started off runnin' information an' then we started crewin' on ships that went out lookin' to take down some purplebellies out on the rim. Didn't even make a dent.

"Then River showed up, started talkin' about all the information she'd leeched about secret facilities the Alliance kept on each planet, how to get in, how to take down the whole Gorram building without gettin' caught. Took her with us just for a bit a guidance an' turns out she's a better fighter than anyone I've ever seen."

"Parliament," Wash said slowly, "that really was you!"

Delilah nodded. "Next place we're goin' we need her real bad. She's the only one that can convince the test subjects ta help us."

"Test subjects," Simon said slowly before it dawned on him and he yelled, "you can't seriously be thinking the four of you can take on the Academy!"

"Sure can," Matt snapped belligerently, "ain't nothin' we can't do. River's got it all worked out. Ain't nothin' she can't do an' I can't wait ta blow the place that fiddled with her brainpan. Gonna be awful fun." He grinned as he thought it over.

"We left Slightly behind," River sighed sadly, "he knows home is nearby, but is afraid of the pirates that linger close to the encampment."

"Cat's fine," Matt said, waving her off. River frowned at him. "But the pirates-"

"Kid, yer cat's fine, an' when we get back he'll still be meaner'n ever," Matt said, rolling his eyes.

"She is not a kid and you are not listening to her," she said through clenched teeth, "if the pirates come-"

"Aw, hell, woman," Jayne snapped, driving his knife deep into the wood of the table, "I'll take ya ta get yer Gorram cat!"

River tried hard to ignore the wave of desire that crashed over her from Delilah's appraisal of Jayne. She wished she hadn't let her guard down. The woman's emotions were wrapping her up in constricting vines.

"No touching," River whispered, glaring at Delilah, whose eyes widened slightly and as River continues, "concept of ownership."

Wash and Zoe both snickered as they headed towards the bridges. "I'm just gonna park her next to your ship."

* * *

It was decided, by Mal and the rest of the crew, that they were going to help. Taking on the Academy was going to take manpower. River moved into her old bunk and Matt, Delilah and Barrett were situated in the other bunks. She could feel the hurt and anger wash over her-the images of him with other women that he deliberately pushed at her and it was constant struggle to keep her walls from crumbling. 

"Hey, kid, you okay?" Matt asked at dinner and she glared at him. "She has a name."

He rolled his eyes. "You been awful weepy lately. Just wonderin' what's been buggin' ya. You ain't still cryin' yerself ta sleep are ya?"

Matt didn't miss the way his older brother tensed and River paled. She didn't answer for several moments. "She is fine."

She stands suddenly taking her plate with her and dumps it in the sink as she quickly makes for her bunk. She pulled her portable cortex out of her dresser drawer. She had bought it with the credits they earned after their third job, robbing an Alliance payroll bank. They had robbed all of them eventually. Broke the Alliance's bank and filled their own. If they had wanted they all could have bought their own planet and settled down. She scrolled through the list of test subjects sighing heavily as she did so. She was too far away to reach into their minds. Much too far away to tell them help was coming, but she could still feel their pain and fear. Everyone was busy in the mess listening to Matt and Jayne tell tales of their childhood together, how they managed to blow up the neighbor's barn (by accident, of course) and hijack a tractor. No one would notice would they? They wouldn't hear? Wouldn't come to see her? She needed clarity. So many faces and so many voices flashed in her like flood lights. They groaned like fog horns in her eyes, stomping out her ability to become her job and finish what she started.

"A tango for one," she whispered to herself as she removed her combat boots, feeling home hum beneath her for the first time in a year as she placed her bare feet on the ground, swaying to the rhythmic thrum of Serenity for a moment, before changing into a pair of black shorts and white tanks top. She gingerly pulled on her slippers and laced them quickly. If she didn't reach her outlet soon, she would end up screaming in an effort to drown it all out.

She slipped quietly into the cargo bay and after several seconds of flicking through the different screens on the cortex, she set it down on Jayne's weight bench and slipped a tiny earwig into each ear before taking up her position. Slightly bounded down the steps, the metal clinking under each padded paw before he leaped onto a large crate and sprawled out on his side, his head tilted to keep an eye on the dancer. Her body relaxed as the first guitar licks kicked in, pulsing through her madly.

"Harder, don't stop, push don't fall, keep balance, might lose, but won't fail," she breathed out as she moved in time with the music quickening her pace when the music moved faster. The rising cacophony of screaming voices dull suddenly and she heaved in relief, flexing her neck muscles as all tension began to fade. Not needing the ear wigs to block out anymore sound, she pulled them out and set them down next to cortex, turning up the volume though she made sure not make it so loud. Another rock song ripped into the quiet of the cargo bay and River sighed, wiping the sweat from her brow. "I miss my dancing partner."

"So how is she, Doc? Ain't havin' a fit?" Mal asked, wiping his mouth. Simon stared at him in wide eyed befuddlement. "She's-she's _dancing."_

"Dancing," Mal asked slowly and Simon nodded. "In the cargo bay, but it's different. I've never seen her dance the way she is. I didn't even know she had ballet slippers."

Mal, Zoe, and Wash were the first ones up, creeping towards the catwalk as quietly as possible. River was too absorbed in her movements as one song bled into another and she tensed as it began.

"Don't why she'd dance to this song," Matt said as he came to stand beside the three, Jayne in tow. Matt sipped from his cup of coffee, "hates this song."

"Why?" Wash asked, eying a very uncomfortable Jayne, whose face was unreadable as he watched River. She almost strutted on tip-toe, crossing one leg in front of the other.

"Says it reminds of someone she left behind," Matt replied with a shrug, "can't figure it out."

"Sounds to me like maybe someone didn't lose their bird," Zoe said cryptically. Jayne opened his mouth to tell her to butt out of his personal life when Simon's voice beside him said, "But there wasn't anyone. Was there? She's just a child-"

"Ain't a child, that there's a ruttin' woman," Matt snorted before taking another gulp, "tell by lookin' at she already done gone tumbled with someone a time 'er two. Lucky sonuvabitch."

_"All I want is someone I can't resist, I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed..."_

River vaulted into a series of twirls around the room at a fiendish pace, her body moving fluidly as she mouthed the words to the song and Jayne was sure he her eyes had gone glass, which meant she was crying. She halted with sudden force, bending backwards and Zoe said in a soft voice. "Almost like she's dancin' with someone."

Matt and Simon both nodded as River dipped, never losing her footing as she popped up gracefully and nimbly hopped from toe to toe as she twisted around and around.

_"Girl, I gotta say, we're partners in crime, you got that certain something..."_

"I remember this song," Wash said, nodding his head as it came back to him, "we listened to it on the cortex along with a bunch of other songs. River really liked them said the songs ran through her head while on jobs like it was a soundtrack to her life. This song always made her sad though. Said it wasn't the ending she wanted, but it had a better chance of playing out than the one she preferred..." He trailed off after a moment and then snapped his fingers, "Aerosonic! That was the...no, no that wasn't the name of the band."

_'I was cryin' when I met you, now I'm tryin' to forget you. Your love is sweet misery. I was cryin' just to get you, Now I'm dyin' cause I let you, Do what you do to me."_

"Don't really think the name matters, but they do have songs that go good with doing crime," Wash said and Mal made a face. "Is that was blaring on the bridge last time we got chased by Reavers near Athens?"

Wash nodded sheepishly. "Put me in the mood to pull some thrillin' heroics-which I did!"

"You get stranger by the day, Wash," Mal said with a shake of his head.

Zoe smiled at Wash. "I think your listening to Earth-That-Was music is nothing to be ashamed of, Husband. If anything, it says you have taste."

Wash preened just as River came to halt, out of breath and dripping with perspiration as she came to lean against the crate her orange tabby was perched on. She scratched the cat's chin as it purred and stretched out. "Beauty in the broken bits. She just has to find it," she whispered.

When it was clear River was done dancing, the group retreated as quietly as possible, careful not to rouse the suspicions of their genius assassin. Jayne decided now would be a good time to pull out the bottle of whiskey he had hidden in his bunk. He needed to be good and drunk. It always kept everything from coming back.

* * *

A/N: song is "Cryin'" by Aerosmith for those who didn't recognize it. Also, this will be my last post for possibly the next couple weeks so I'm sorry. Just I'm going away from Christmas and won't be back for a while. I hope this holds you over until then. In the mean time, tell me what you think. Reviews would be super! 


	11. Somewhere a Clock is Ticking Pt 1

** I own nothing. Enjoy.**

* * *

Wash would have considered it the dumbest idea Mal had ever had, if Mal had known nearly as much about what had happened between Jayne and River as he and Zoe did. Going to a bar had been stupid enough. But going to a bar with more than a dozen whores had been worse. Wash knew that when men like Jayne had been hurt, they ran back to familiar territory to lick their wounds and that's exactly what Jayne had been doing. However, now it was in River's face. River was already half passed completely shitfaced and if looks could kill, Jayne would have been dead the minute the first whore sat on his lap and he gave her backside a firm slap. In a sudden burst of empathy, Zoe had been matching River's drinking pace, and she too was completely drunk and had taken up glaring with River. The two women were leaning heavily on each other for support while Kaylee, Mal, Matt, Delilah, and Barrett stared at them in confusion. 

"Just lets the bird fly away," River howled, making an exaggerated gesture with her left arm, "like, like a bird! Just fly!"

"Hun dan," Zoe muttered as she downed half a pint in one gulp. River snorted indignantly. "She's pretty isn't she? She's pretty, right," she asked everyone at the table causing everyone to hurriedly chorus in with, "pretty? You're gorgeous!" and "of course."

"Who are we talking 'bout?" Mal whispered to Kaylee. Kaylee looked River up and down. "I'm thinkin' I'm startin' ta get it, but I ain't sure."

"Don't think I've ever seen the kid this wasted," Matt laughed, slapping his leg and Delilah nodded in her own amusement. "Guess, this girl's just full o' surprises."

"Wifey, mei-mei, think it's time to go home," Wash said slowly and Zoe swayed away from River, causing the girl to flop into her lap with a startled yelp. Zoe's unfocused eyes finally found Wash's face and she nodded, beckoning him forward. "Yes, bring the ship around, Husband."

"They ain't hurtin' nobody," Matt said with a shrug, "just let 'em be. They'll sober up soon."

Only they did not sober up soon. It was barely an hour later that Wash found himself just as drunk when Jayne finally emerged from one of the upstairs rooms and plopped down heavily in a chair next to Mal. "Okay, what'd I miss?"

One glance at the three drunks across from him and he blinked. "Holy shit, they 'er three sheets ta the wind an' more."

"Wonder why they ain't got boy-whores here," Kaylee said, suddenly. "Hardly ever see boy-whores."

The three across the table were swaying back and forth humming some song the rest of them were unfamiliar with, giggling as they continued. Mal turned to grin at his mechanic. "Why, you thinkin' a runnin' out on the Doc?"

"Could always run my way," Matt said as he waggled an eyebrow at her. Both Mal and Jayne gave him a sharp look and he said defensively. "What? The kid ain't willin' ta put out an' a man's got needs!"

"You really are Jayne's brother," Mal said in disgust and Jayne would have grinned if it weren't for Matt's comment about River.

River hiccuped as she pointed at Kaylee and proclaimed in an overly loud voice. "Yes, boy-whores. Should be more of them. Women need just as much pleasing sexually as men do."

She yawned and smiled at the group surrounding her. "She is drowsy. Poison slipped into her veins and made the words fade and disappear. Time for home."

Zoe and Wash seconded her motion and the three of them hauled one another up, keeping firm grasps on a bottle of berry wine and some of the toughest whiskey Jayne had ever had. He was sure his throat was bleedin'.

"Guess we better make sure they make it back, huh," he muttered in almost a sulking tone. Mal nodded, assuring Matt and his crew mates that if they wished to stay, they could, to which they agreed. Wash, who had Zoe on his right and River on his left were staggering in zigzags patterns down the road. "You know, you are the two shiniest broads I know," he was babbling, "Seriously, I mean, well I married you because of it and, River, you kick so much pi gu..."

"I do kick pi gu," River laughed and Zoe hollered, "Me too," just as loudly as they began humming once more and they suddenly burst into loud off-key singing. "We are they champions, my friend! And we'll keep on fighting 'till the end! We are the champions! We are the champions!" Both Zoe and River raised their bottles and Mal buried his face in his hand as he heard several onlookers began to snicker. "No time for losers 'cause we are the champions bum bum bum of the world!"

A particularly loud onlooker, who it seemed was also drunk yelled out, "Hey pretty lady, come over here an' I'll show you what a champion is!"

River yelled back belligerently, "I'll kill you with my brain!"

Jayne saw Mal's shoulders shake with laughter and felt his own begin to shake with laughter as well. River stumbled, falling inelegantly to the ground causing the loose dirt to puff out around her. She blinked for several moments before bursting into a fit of laughter as Mal tried to pull her up from the ground. She was too busy laughing at herself to pull herself up. "I am very very...relaxed. No words floating in the air. Only fuzzies!"

"Well ain't that just shiny," Mal snorted as he finally pulled River up. She fell straight into him, nearly knocking him to the ground as he stumbled back. She smiled up at him dreamily, "It's almost nap-time. Have to make an armada with Kaylee tomorrow. Bright and early!"

"Yes, you do, Li'l Albatross," he said, trying hard not to become irritated. Drunk River was more of a handful than crazy River. He smoothly handed her over to Jayne, smirking as his mercenary became increasingly uncomfortable with the closeness of the girl. River poked Jayne's forehead. "Shut up in there, you're loud and I can't keep you out."

"Mal," Jayne whined as he began to untangle himself from her, "why can't you take 'er? Yer her father basically. Makes 'er yer responsibility!"

"You smell cheap," River slurred as she wrinkled her nose in disgust, "you never smelled cheap before."

Jayne growled as Wash and Zoe giggled at her words. "It ain't my smell, it's the whore's. You don't like it, then don't sniff me."

Jayne was tired a puttin' up the her. She done run off on him an' here she was, prancin' about drunker'n hell an' actin' as if she hadn't done him wrong. She had no right ta be actin' all hurt all the time. She was the one that made him believe she was his Gorram bird; made him believe that ruttin' thimble meant somethin'. This was exactly why Jayne Cobb did not go about kissin' womenfolk on the mouth. He scowled at her as he shoved past the group with an irritated growl. If he had to he'd spend the next two months in his bunk. Jayne barreled up the ramp and into the ship towards his bunk, fuming with every bitter thought that ran through his mind.

Jayne settled down on his bed heavily, jumping when Slightly, who had somehow gotten into his bunk meowed behind him in protest at being jostled from his nap. Jayne patted the cat absently and was rewarded with a forgiving purr._Well, atleast her Gorram cat ain't turned on me_, he thought miserably to himself as he stared at his dresser. He stood just as suddenly as he had sat and ripped open the top drawer pulling out the item that for the past year had offended him more and more with each passing day. He gripped it in his hand with vice like strength as he made for the bathroom near the passenger dorms. When he reached it however he found that he couldn't allow himself to do as he had originally planned and stared at it with a stormy expression. Somethin' as simple as that shouldn't mean so much to a man like him and he knew it. Resigning himself to the fact that he would most likely keep it until the day he died, Jayne shoved it into his pocket and stormed back to his bunk.

* * *

River had taken up residence on the catwalk, babbling nonsense-nonsense to those who didn't understand. It mostly consisted of blood and gore, yet sometimes it drifted into the whimsical though it was always spoken in a sad lilting tone. The crew of Serenity who had long been accustomed to River's odd behavior paid no attention to it, though her newest companions felt ill at ease, especially Matt, who it seemed understood her. 

"She is floating on strong currents pulling towards familiar grounds, in which field of flowers will she land? Jaguar doesn't remember they are both spotty. One shoe without the other, therefore kittens may not come into existence. Cygnets but a dream."

Mal, Jayne, and Simon quit arguing about their medical cargo long enough to listen as she continued. It was the first time she had spoken in over an hour.

"Needles probing farther, almost ready, reflexes aren't quite up to par. Not dreaming, no nightmares, just waiting for her. Wary, afraid of hope. Screaming in despair though reality says not too. All screaming and the swan is too busy thinking about the large cat that pounced on her and severed the right ventricle from the left over and over making it bigger, until she left it. Stalks the harpies once more but doesn't like their painted feathers and knows they're not real. She's doing it again."

"River, mei-mei, are you okay?" Simon called up in a concerned voice and she slowly turned to looked down at him through the grating, her face contorted in frustration. "The woman is having trouble focusing on the needles as they pierce the flock's flesh and pull out their down feathers. She has to know what is going on, but she can't focus because she is worried about her mate and there may be no chance for kittens with his teeth gnashing at her and he's covered in red. It makes her run off-track. Lucidity through intoxication may help, but she has no alcohol to speak of..."

"Okay, right," Mal said rather slowly, blinking up on her, "so yer cat is knocked up an' yer wantin' ta get good an' drunk ta celebrate."

River gave him a disgusted look. "Slightly is male, Captain, and you are all boobs."

The sound of large combat boots clomping on the metal grating drew their attention as Matt stomped up to her and slammed a bottle down next to River's head. She didn't so much as flinch as she grabbed it. He grinned down at her. "Thought you might wanna refuel to keep you focused. Gonna need a new liver by the time all this is over."

"Why are you getting my mei-mei drunk," Simon asked suspiciously.

River sat up and rocked back and forth as she nursed the bottle of horrible tasting tequila. "Winds are turbulent and smooth sailing is required for her to gain her bearings. Must focus on the brain-pans and progression of status of each...no blue on Serenity. Everything is red, warm, angry red."

"She can't focus will all the go-se we're throwin' at 'er," Jayne grunted, "stayin' drunk keeps her focused on what she needs to be focusing on."

"Bein' sober keeps her mind on that fella, muddles it up fer the loony-"

"She is not all loony, _Matty_, and you are not my kind of stupid right now," she snapped before adding in a calm voice, "thank you for the booze."

"Yer funny when yer drunk, you ain't good at pacin' yerself. Maybe I'm hopin' you'll finally give up on that hun dan a yers an' take up with me. Ya know I'd treat ya alright," he teased and she frowned at him. "You are a boob also," she muttered and stared intently at Jayne. Jayne glowered at her menacingly. "Can I help you, you Moon-brained, loopy ass, Space Harpy?"

Something in her eyes shifted and Jayne felt as if she had punched him in the gut. She frowned. "Somewhere a clock is ticking, ticking away," she said quietly, in a melancholy voice, "last time for there to be a whole possibly. Will you adhere to the time frame you have set for us?"

"That riddle I ain't gonna be able to figure out," he muttered to no one in particular and she repeated in a more adamant and mournful voice. "Somewhere a clock is ticking. When the grenade goes boom, whose blood will I see, Jayne Cobb? Yours or mine?"

Jayne felt every muscle in his body stiffen at the thought of blood, more specifically her blood. She continued to stare. "The needle cushions with their screaming gray matter say maybe both in a pretty blue package. Yours or mine? I have not peeked in your closet, Jayne Cobb, I promised you I wouldn't, but I see your red."

Jayne was completely oblivious to the confused and equally suspicious stares of the three men in the cargo bay, but he couldn't tear his gaze from the crazy woman as she slowly glided down the cold, metal stairs towards them.

"Will you let it seep out or keep it inside?" She asked as she began to circle him, her eyes studying every inch of him as if to find the answer.

"What in th' ruttin' hell 'er you goin' on about," he asked through gritted teeth.

"Bullets, bullets go whizzing by, who will bleed and who will cry?" Her voice was trembling. "A half life will form as the gunsmoke clears. A half life covered in blood, but no one will see. So many lives lost from that one."

She was suddenly crying and her anguished voice carried through out Serenity. "She can't see who will bleed and who will cry. Who will live while we all die. I hear the breaking, but I don't see the colors. I need to see their colors. The feathers are drowning in blood but there's no color!"

River fell to her knees before the three stunned men, sobbing. "No colors, no colors."

"I ain't standin' 'round ta hear the rest a her catterwaulin'," Jayne snapped, causing the three other men in the cargo bay to jump. She let out another strangled cry as he stormed off and Matt didn't miss the way Jayne tensed as he clomped up the stairs.

"So," Matt prodded slowly at her, "this jaguar wouldn't happen to own a bird would he?"

River's head shot up in surprise. "Clever, panther."

Matt grinned at her and she continued, "you have grasped the concept of ownership."

"Stop talkin' in riddles," Mal whined, "I don't know what yer sayin' half the time."

Simon blinked. "Maybe that's the point. Maybe we're only supposed to understand when she wants us to."

She rose and tweaked his nose. "Clever Ge-ge."

* * *

Jayne was busy splashing cold water on his face when he heard someone say behind him, "You are the biggest Gorram idiot I ever known." 

Jayne didn't bother to turn as he addressed his younger brother, "That so?"

"It it weren't you'da known the minute ya saw the kid she's still twitterpated over ya," Matt snapped, his patience with Jayne wearing thin. Jayne turned slowly and leveled his gaze on him. "She left, Matty, an' that don't 'xactly make a man feel wanted now does it?"

"She left for _you_," he howled, taking Jayne by surprise. "You think it would a bothered her if the feds was after her the rest of her life if she didn't have nobody she felt was worth makin' a life with? No, she wouldn't have. She wanted a life with you, Gorrammit, an' she thought you did, too. That's why done run off. So's she could make 'em stop comin' after her. So's she could have a life."

Jayne could only stare at his brother with hard eyes. He refused to let Matt's words hold any weight in his mind. Matt made a disgusted face. "Guess she's crazier'n we all thought fer wantin' ta take up with yer sorry pi gu, cause you ain't worth it."

"She ain't all that crazy," Jayne snapped, "an' it ain't my fault she went an' got 'erself all in a tizzy o'er us cause I told 'er I'd end up hurtin' her."

"Yeah, well," Matt muttered as he turned to leave, "when ya love someone yer supposed ta make sure ya don't hurt 'em, you moron."

Jayne blinked at the door his brother had just exited through and after several moments of silent contemplation he fished around in his pocket. He closed his fist around the small object and slowly held it up to his face. Of all the things he owned it meant the most to him. Even Vera came second to it, though she was a sight more useful than a Gorram thimble. Jayne glared at the tiny bit of silver in his hand. It wasn't like him to get all sentimental over things such as this. He shoved it back into his pocket where he had been keeping it over the past two months. It had taken the place of River's letter.

* * *

The crew of Serenity hadn't really understood until they stepped off the ship and onto the solid ground of Liann Jun and were greeted with the sight of several surrounding skiffs and hundreds of canvas war tents. Zoe and Mal were first to realize they had enlisted themselves in yet another war with the Alliance. 

"Dear God, Mal," Zoe whispered, "this is serious."

"It is war, Zoe," River said as she came up to stand by the crew, her voice monotone, "war is always serious. Many will die, few will live. The Alliance will not survive. I have deactivated their deadliest weapons."

Delilah pushed past her, muttering some unintelligible insult at her as she made for the nearest man. River sighed as she watched her go and Barrett placed a strong hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, girl. I still got yer back."

She smiled up at the big man. "And so you will have many grandbabies. She will keep you all safe. You are all family."

Without waiting for anyone to respond, she followed after Delilah, who shoved a large stack of dark green canvas tents at her, causing River to stumble back and mutter at her in Chinese. Delilah cocked a challenging eyebrow at her and smirked in a way that made River's glare deepen as she wandered back to the group. She began to pass them out curtly, her nostrils flaring in her anger. "Mal and Barrett in one tent, Jayne and Matt, Inara and Delilah, Kaylee and Simon, Zoe and Wash-"

"Now, hold on," Mal, said with some annoyance, "you can't be in a tent all yer lonesome!"

"She is used to being alone and-"

"Mal's right, Moony, one a these hun dans might get it inta his thick skull that yer willin' when ya ain't an' might try somethin'," Jayne said in a voice tinged with more than just annoyance, "now we know ya can handle yerself, but some a these men is pretty big."

"Jayne's right, Li'l Albatross," Mal nodded before doing something completely unexpected. "Jayne, you room with her."

"What?!" They both cried in surprise. Mal rolled his eyes. "Well, I can't stick her with any of the womenfolk. Just make em' more of a target an' I don't trust yer brother with her."

River huffed and wandered off. "I'll go set up the tent."

Kaylee offered her assistance, following River to a spot that was close to the large encampment, but just far enough away to have some semblance of privacy.

Jayne followed Mal in helping the rest of the crew to set up their tents and was surprised when he found River at his side with a large pitcher of water and glasses. He took one, nodding his thanks and she smiled briefly before moving on to the next person. She was so focused on making sure that each person received a drink that she didn't notice the large, rough man approach her from behind and haul her up against his front. "Well, ain't you just the tastiest thing I ever saw."

River pulled away in surprise, trying to hide her outrage at his forwardness. Jayne narrowed his eyes. River hated it when people she was unfamiliar with touched her. Why she hadn't clobbered him yet, Jayne wasn't sure of, but she had to have had her reasons.

"I'm not what you're thinking, Sir. I didn't come here to entertain," she stated calmly and Jayne felt his anger begin to boil. How in the ruttin' hell did someone mistake her fer a whore? He didn't have enough time to think the question over as the man pulled her up flush against him once more, causing her to lean farther back to keep him from trying to kiss her. It was then Jayne realized she was pushing the man away as hard as she could, but to no avail. She dumped the contents of the pitcher on him and it only served to make him laugh as he came closer and closer to her. That was it. Nobody touched River. Jayne let his glass of water fly to the ground with enough force to cause it to shatter and the crew, who had been oblivious to River's plight turned to look at him, along with several independent soldiers who had been milling about or watching the situation with interest. Jayne didn't see anything other than River struggling helplessly in the man's arms. His tunnel vision was tinged in red and people were gingerly stepping back. Jayne ripped River from the man's arms and jerked him off the ground by his collar. Before the man could get out a word, Jayne hammered his fist straight into his nose and to everyone's horror, did not stop. The man fell to the ground, sputtering large quantities of blood as he tried to drag himself away, but Jayne wasn't finished. Jayne glowered down at him fiercely, cracking his knuckles. The sound reverberated eerily in the silence as Jayne stepped forward and jerked the man up once more, letting his fist fly into the man's face over and over. A small hand found its way to his back and he froze as he felt River curl herself into his back. She clutched tiny fistfuls of his shirt in her hands as she whispered, "The jaguar must stop now or the warthog will seek vengeance. Your swan is safe."

"_My swan_," Jayne snarled as he flung the man away from himself and spat, "concept a' ownership."

Jayne found himself still frozen in place, unable to move. Having everyone starin' at them all curiouslike and scared made him feel a mite nervous. River nuzzled his back slightly and said in a small, trembling voice, "She did it for you, Jayne. So you and your bird could have the things you wanted. Make a stationary nest."

"My bird didn't want em', though," he muttered bitterly to himself and she stepped back in hurt shock, causing him to finally turn towards her. Her eyes were beginning to get glassy as she spoke in a strained voice, "Yes, she did! She wanted it very much so. She wants the package wrapped in blue more than anything."

Jayne couldn't find his words. He couldn't bring himself to tell her and wasn't sure he ever could. Jayne ripped something from his shirt and shoved it into her tiny fist. "Here." He didn't wait to hear her response and instead hurried off to the ship to retrieve more weapons.

River open her hand slowly and covered her mouth with one hand to muffle the sob she felt would soon break free as she stared down at the dull, blue button in her hand. She turned to the group and grabbed Wash. "He read the book, didn't he?"

Before Wash could reply, Mal yelled, "What in the Gorram hell is goin' on?"

Kaylee grabbed River, leading her towards her and Inara's tent. "I think it's best us girls have a talk, Cap'n."

"That means I can come, right," called Wash as he hurried off after the group of women. Mal, along with Simon opened and closed their mouths several times, but no words came out. Matt puffed on his cigar and snorted. "Man did always know how to complicate things."

"Huh," Mal asked, but Matt merely rolled his eyes and departed for his own tent.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter is going to be intense and long. very long. Reviews would be lovely as always. i like to know whether or not I'm screwing something up. So, even if you're going to tell me I suck, I'd still like to hear it. 


	12. Somewhere a Clock is Ticking Pt 2

**I own nothing. Enjoy and please Review.**

* * *

"Jayne," Mal bellowed and Jayne moved his head out from under the steady stream of water, propping his arms up on the rickety wooden stall walls. After setting up everyone's tents and then nearly beating a man to death, Jayne had begun to feel a bit gamey. Normally, this wouldn't have bothered him. He was used to goin' without showers when need be, but when beddin' down with or near a woman, one oughta not smell so Gorram offensive. Jayne pushed the suds out of his face and watched with mild amusement as Mal stormed over to the small cubicle of freestanding shower stalls. He'd bet next year's credits that Mal was in a huff over his little tiff with that ugly hundan what grabbed River an' all. "Whatcha need, Mal," he asked lazily. Apparently he was in a mood to rebel. His demeanor only served to work Mal up even more.

"I'm just a bit curious as to what's been goin' on 'tween you an' my Li'l Albatross," Mal snapped, in no mood to trade barbs. Jayne rolled his eyes and stuck his head back under the water to rinse out the rest of the shampoo that was in his hair. "Shit, Mal, ain't nothing goin' on between me and the Moonbrain."

"Yes, I could tell by the way you nearly killed a man over him gettin' a little too touchy feely with her."

Jayne's head snapped around so fast Mal flinched and Jayne held onto the stall wall with a vice-like grip. "You sayin' I was in the wrong fer teachin' that guy a lesson?"

Mal began to stammer, "Well, no, it's just you don't like-"

"Just cause I ain't too fond a her don't mean I'm gonna let somethin' like what was about ta happen ta her happen. I may be mean an' selfish, but even I know a woman ought not ta be treated like that," Jayne snarled at Mal, his indignation at Mal's implication causing him to become more than a little upset. "if it's one thing I do right by aside from my weapons, it's women. Moony needed me, so I stepped up. Now quit lookin' fer things what ain't there."

Mal floundered for a moment as he tried to come up with some order to throw at Jayne. When he found none, he blinked profusely for a moment before turning on his heel and storming off to go yell at some other poor soul. Jayne guessed Simon as the rest of the crew were still holed up in Kaylee and Inara's tent having a talk.

After several minutes of clarity under the ice cold water, which Jayne found he enjoyed, he turned off the shower and wrapped the towel around himself before stepping into his boots and clomping back to his tent. He smirked inwardly at the way several soldiers jumped back out of his way._That's right_, he thought smugly, _they know what the chain a' command 'round here is._

He turned back towards where Mal had run off to find the women staring at him. They all turned away abruptly, feigning interest in their surroundings. River seemed to be laughing at them. He rolled his eyes and looked off into the distance. Soon the ground would be drenched in blood, if the ominous crimson glow of the sunset was any hint as to what the oncoming war was going to be like. Funny how in all his long years he'd never been in an actual battle. Sure, fights where he'd been shot up good, but he hadn't been in any battles. Heaving a long sigh he stepped into the darkness of the tent. Mal was gonna be right pissed that he was missin' the little strategy meetin' they was to be havin', but he didn't right care. He knew how it went. Mal would tell him to shoot and he would shoot. That was his job, he knew this would be no different from the jobs they normally took on. A 'Course there were more people and whatnot that would be followin' Mal's and his own orders, but it didn't really make a difference. It was just another job. When he looked back, they were still staring at him. He rolled his eyes once more and stepped into the tent. Throwing on a pair of cargo pants and a shirt, Jayne settled down into the surprisingly comfortable sleeping bag and rolled onto his stomach, his hand closing around the gun he had stashed under his pillow just in case. He was asleep within minutes.

* * *

Wash had never been the expert on relationships. So it had come as quite the shock when every word he had said to the women had been taken as gospel. Especially, when he had been talking about Jayne, who was the polar opposite of himself. The women had sat back with expressions ranging from surprise, interest, and understanding. Zoe looked impressed. River, however, seemed more and more put out the longer he talked. 

"It's not her fault men are boobs," she protested petulantly, "he should have understood. She saw he was feeling caged and decided then was the time to leave to protect the flock. He should have understood."

"Men, don't understand women," Wash said slowly, ignoring Inara's amused snort, "we tend to not see the big picture the way you do. When you left, Jayne didn't understand you left to do all this. All he knew was that you left and to him that meant you didn't care about him. You left him."

"But she didn't," River protested, "she never really left. Her head was always filled with Jayne."

She hung her head sorrowfully and both Zoe and Inara flinched as she said in a dejected voice, "She loves him."

Zoe and Inara were having the most trouble grasping River's affections for the mean mercenary, as was Kaylee in some small way. Jayne just wasn't one someone associated with emotions as it had been previously thought he was devoid of them.

"But, mei-mei, it's Jayne," Inara said, trying to hold her exasperation at River's inability to see reason in. River and Jayne were too incompatible in her opinion. Wash shot her a dark look, startling her slightly when River wailed, "What is wrong with Jayne?"

"Nothing is wrong with Jayne, mei-mei," Wash said soothingly as he rubbed her back to calm her, "they just haven't read your story is all."

"Ge-ge understands," she questioned softly and Wash smiled. "Of course, Jayne is childish, but he's your match in ways no one else is. Like Zoe is for me."

"The squished grape," River said, smiling softly to herself and then adding, "he thinks they're funny, too."

"River, honey, you tellin' me you two was carryin' on way back then? When you two was laughin' about that man havin' his head squished?" Zoe asked, bewildered. River bit her lip to keep from laughing at the memory and nodded. Kaylee's face held just the same amount of shock. "But you two was always yellin' an' fightin'."

"Jayne enjoyed the fighting as did the woman," River said smiling even more, "resulted in highly satisfactory intercourse."

They all shifted uncomfortably as River's eyes gained a far off and less than innocent look to them. "He would purr instead of growl afterwards."

"He was a mite less unpredictable after you fought if I remember correctly," Zoe mused, remembering how the mercenary would emerge from his bunk several hours after one of the fights with an unusual lightness in his step and a glare that didn't quite reach his eyes. At one point, she had even found him humming jovially to himself in the cargo bay as he moved the crates around. Believing she had waltzed into an alternate universe, she had backed out of the cargo bay as quickly and quietly as possible. If Zoe remembered correctly, that was after the fight in which River had knocked the big man on his ass. Leave it to Jayne to be turned on by violence.

"You sexed Jayne," Kaylee asked incredulously and River gave all three women a look. "Don't tell me you have never thought about it."

Inara fixed her gaze on the silk pillow in her lap and picked at the beading as nonchalantly as possible. Kaylee had the good grace to turn as red as the strawberries she was so fond of and Zoe even managed to look slightly chastised. Wash opened and closed his mouth as he stared down his wife before saying in an exasperated tone, "Eww, Lamby-toes, eww!"

Kaylee let out a smallish grunt. "Well, only a little cause he's always workin' out an'..."

"He has nice arms," Inara mused aloud, turning just as red as Kaylee when everyone save River gawked at her. "What? He does," she snapped defensively. Kaylee was the next to speak up. "Yeah, even if he does get a little ripe doin' it, I still like to watch him."

Inara sighed in agreement and Zoe supressed the urge to nod. Maybe Wash shouldn't have come. Wash stood abruptly. "While you guys talk about how much you would love to manhandle Jayne, I'm gonna go find a way to not be here."

Kaylee snorted in laughter and Zoe waited several moments before saying tentively, "So Jayne's pretty big..."

"He is big everywhere, Zoe," River said with a smirk, "he is very big everywhere."

They all settled into a fit of giggling and River felt her mood lighten significantly. After several more minutes of gossip they stepped out of the tent and their attention was immediately drawn to Jayne as he clomped back towards the tent they shared in nothing more than a towel and his unlaced boots. Zoe, Inara, and Kaylee all tilted their heads to the side as they watched Jayne stride through the encampment confidently. Inara let out an uncharacteristically long sigh and shook her head slowly, "If only he weren't so crude."

"Yeah," Zoe and Kaylee replied simultaneously and River rolled her eyes. When Jayne glanced in their direction they all jumped and averted their gazes. River laughed at Inara's sudden inability to hold her composure. She laughed at Zoe inability to keep the knowing leer off her face and Kaylee's inability to keep her curiosity in check as she continued to flick her gaze back and forth from the ground to the mercenary as he eyed them in confusion. He looked at them once more before rolling his eyes and stepping into the confines of the green tent. River snorted with laughter as the three other women of Serenity shifted in embarrassment at being caught staring at Jayne Cobb in unabashed lust by the man himself.

* * *

Jayne was in the middle of wishin' he had another blanket-as it was colder'n hell-when the tent flap opened slowly. Jayne hadn't expected River to bunk with him, had figured she would stay holed up with Inara an' Kaylee talkin' their girlie go se. Believing him asleep, River slowly and silently stepped over his outstretched legs and Jayne thought he heard her teeth chatter faintly. Making sure his breathing was even and deep, Jayne made sure to stay still as River huddled into the large sleeping bag with him, making sure there was enough space between them. Feeling nothing else was likely to occur to upset his slumber, Jayne relaxed further and his eyes became heavy with sleep once more. Then he heard rustling. River was moving, inching closer to him and pausing to wait several minutes while she held her breath in anticipation of him turning on her and bellowing for her to get away from him. He could feel her breath on his back as she lay still, no more than an inch from him. Then slowly he felt her hand on his back, her touch no lighter than a feather. When he didn't pull away after several more minutes, she snuggled up close, burying her face between his shoulder blades. He felt her shaking against him. It was her crying shake. Something in the way she was cryin' told Jayne she was cryin' for him. He felt her snake an arm around his waist in an attempt to pull herself closer to him. Jayne swallowed thickly and turned to face her. She jerked back as if burned, her eyes watery. Jayne remained silent as he slowly wiped her face wit his thumb. His roughness scraped against her smooth cheeks soothingly and she closed her eyes at the touch. 

"You don't have to love me, Jayne," she whispered hoarsely, "just let me love you."

"Stop it," he snapped, gruffly, "stop being so loopy."

Her lower lip quivered as her eyes filled with tears once more and Jayne growled before leaning forward and kissing her gently on the forehead. "I said, quit it. You know I ain't no good with tears, so stop it."

She sniffled and scooted closer, burying her face in his shirt front. "I love you, Jayne."

Her voice was muffled by his shirt and he had to pull her away to see her face clearly. She stared up at him with her big wet eyes and all he could do was kiss her.

* * *

When Jayne woke up, there was a fresh cup of coffee next to him, which was confusing as all get out considering River was snuggled up against his bare back. His brow furrowed for only a second as he tried to remember why he had no shirt-or pants, for that matter- on. A smile curled his lips when he noticed the smooth skin of River's shoulder peek out from under the sleeping back. She stirred slightly as he sat up and pulled him back down. "Go back to sleep, Bao-bei." 

"Jayne," Mal called from outside the tent, "get out here!"

"Gimme a minute, Mal," Jayne growled as he smacked River's bottom under the covers playfully and she half laughed, half moaned before turning over on her stomach. Jayne stood and stretched languidly as he pulled his pants and socks. He could hear Mal muttering outside the tent impatiently as he pulled on his boots. He grabbed his green over shirt and stepped out of the tent slowly, tin coffee cup in hand. He slowly tugged the shirt on and took a sip from the cup. It was horrendous. Definitely not River's coffee. He spit it out and chucked the rest of the cup's contents. The sun beat down mercilessly and Jayne pulled his sunglasses on as he listened to Mal prattle on about battle strategy and complain about how irresponsible it had been for him to have missed the meeting. Jayne lit a cigar stub and followed Mal over to the small cooking fire where Kaylee had prepared protein mash for them for breakfast. Jayne clapped hands with Barrett as he joined them and nodded to the rest of the crew. At the sight of Jayne's bare chest, her face reddened. Inara and Zoe were trying desperately to look anywhere but directly at him. What in the ruttin' hell had they all talked about? Jayne settled into a rickety wooden chair that held his weight surprisingly and continued to ignore Mal as he talked. Matt caught his eye and made to look as if he were hanging himself, causing Jayne to grin slightly. It was then Jayne noticed River making her way over to the group, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She settled down in the chair next to Jayne's, pulling her knees tight up against herself. He could tell by the way she stared down at the dying fire that her mind was a mile away. He was about to ask her if she was okay when he heard the sounds of an explosion at the end of the camp farthest from them. Jumping up he threw Mal a glare that was hidden by his sunglasses as he said, "Looks like things is goin' just how you planned it."

* * *

A/N: Not as long as I thought it would be, but I figured I should start off all the warring and whatnot in its own chapter. so stay tuned. 


	13. Apocalypse 24

**I own nothing. Review if you like.**

* * *

Jayne had managed to gear up before th melee reached them. Mal had sent each person to their designated area. Wash had piloted Serenity up into the air with Matt at the cannon mount they had re-welded to the ship not a month before. It wasn't even three hours into battle and the ground was already tinged red. Every now and then, Mal would yell something to him, but after a while the sound of gunfire and grenades drown him out and he and River were stuck behind a huge boulder. The sound of metal against rock alerted Jayne to Barrett's presence on his left as the big man fired into the smoky haze rising from the ground. There were no Alliance skiff in the air that Jayne could see. Had Wash and Matt taken them all out? Jayne hoped so. Little Kaylee was up there with them making sure Serenity was still flyin'. He hoped that Inara and even Simon were safe in the medical tents where he knew they were being swamped with injured men.

Jayne looked over to his right. Mal and Zoe were stuck behind an overturned four-wheeler. He saw Mal's lips moving but couldn't understand him until he nodded towards River. He looked down to find her looking off into the distance. Her eyes were eerily glassy. "They're coming."

It was almost dusk when Jayne heard the gunfire peter out and a series of wet gurgles, popping, and the crunching of bones echoed across the humid, blood soaked ground. Singular shots would be fired followed by choking. Something was out there. River inched forward and they followed her lead as she disappeared into the smoky haze. In the span of ten seconds he and River were surrounded by Purplebellies and River was snapping her leg out to catch one in the chin before she crouched down as Jayne reached over her to hit another in the temple with enough force to fell a man twice his size. River shot up into the air a moment later, landing on the third as she let one of her long blades penetrate his windpipe. Jayne lashed out with his own hunting knife, catching one across the eyes. The man collapsed with a shriek, covering his face with his hands just as Mal shot him through the chest twice. Zoe stood back, picking off any who camp to close to the three. Barrett remained hunkered down behind the boulder, taking out those who attempted a sneak attack. Jayne was bent over one man, his knife buried in the man's chest when he heard a muffled gurgle behind him. He whipped around to find a short blond girl staring up at him with eyes just as wide as River's wearing pale blue leggings with thermal plates on them and a thin blue smock. In her right hand was a bloody scalpel. "We didn't think you would come," she said in a ghostly whisper as she looked each one of them over. She was gone in an instant and Jayne fought the chills running up his spine. He thought he caught Mal mutter, "Well, that was indeed creepifyin'," just as several explosions sent waves of heat their way and the ground shook. Their heads jerked up as two Alliance skiffs appeared overhead and Jayne cursed silently to himself. Several cargo ships retrofitted for battle were in hot pursuit led by Serenity herself. One of the skiffs broke off and turned around, heading straight into the mass of ships that had been firing on it, successfully clipping several. Jayne could only hope Wash and Matt would make it through as he watched helplessly from the ground below. River extended a hand to Zoe as they stared up at the battle above them.

* * *

"No, no, Wash," Matt yelled as he entered the bridge. Delilah had taken his place on the cannon mount. Wash glanced tensely over his shoulder. "Do you wanna fly?"

"No, no, I don't wanna fly or explode an' die," Matt howled as the disintegration of a nearby exploding freighter cause the boat to shake roughly, "Wash, move away from the Alliance skiff!"

"Don't tell me how to fly," Wash screeched back and Matt scowled down at him, "I'll tell you whatever I Gorram want, ya fei fei de piyan, now stop playin' around."

"I have to give Delilah a clear shot, Matt," Wash snapped as he swerved the ship to the side to avoid a small vessel that had propelled into their line of flight. Matt gripped the doorway as he continued to howl, "Well, be careful."

"I am," Wash growled before adding under his breath, "I am a leaf on the wind-"

"What does that mean? What does that have to do with an intergalactic space battle? There's no ruttin' wind," Matt cried as he waved his arms around in exasperation.

"This is not an intergalactic space battle," Wash called as Matt stormed of towards the engine room, "maybe if there were alien space monkeys!"

He swerved once again, letting out a sharp breath. "Whew, that was a little close."

"Wash!"

"What?!"

* * *

They were forced into a dead run as one of the smaller vessels that had been in atmo crashed to the ground and began to slide at an alarmingly fast pace. Suddenly Browncoats and Purplebellies were running side by side in a mad attempt to stay alive for however much longer they could before they were forced to face off once more. They could hear the crush of earth as it pushed against itself, swallowing everything in its path. Men were pushing at one another as they sped forward and Jayne found that he was one of them. He was bulldozing people left and right along side Barrett to make a path for any who followed him. The crush of the dirt began to slow and finally stop and before anyone could catch their breath, chaos ensued. There was no cover, no trenches to hunker down in. Nothing but soldier against soldier. Some fired on one another at the same time, some lobbed grenades into the masses killing both friend and foe. Every now and then they caught the flutter of light blue cloth in the fray. They were among them. Those the Academy had been experimenting on and training were moving within the massacre mercilessly killing those that had imprisoned them. Both Mal and Jayne wondered if maybe some of the screaming wasn't them as they realized they were nothing more than human weapons and discovered the full extent of their abilities in the heat of battle. Their question was answered when they neared one redheaded girl bent over one Alliance soldier, stabbing over and over again with a shard of glass as she cried, her hand bleeding as the glass dug into her palm.

They pushed on, River slicing through each opponent like a hot knife through butter while Jayne shot through each man with a bullet or a throwing knife, resorting only to hand to hand when they got too close, which only two really had and he had snapped their necks like twigs. The same eerie blond slipped up neck to him and Jayne was under the distinct impression she had taken a liking to him as she chose to fight side by side with him. He was fine with it so long as she didn't get it into her head to stab at him with that little scalpel she was wielding.

"Wouldn't stab her Savior," she said in a disembodied voice as she sliced into one man's neck while punching another in the jaw.

"Ain't your Savior," Jayne grunted as he jabbed his finger into the eye socket of the Purplebelly River had managed to kick over to him, "just doin' what's right."

Just as the man he had been forcefully squeezing the life out of raised a knife to stab Jayne in the thigh, River leveled her gun on him and shot before turning to shoot the two men, coming up on her. She caught them both between the eyes.

"You make a friend, Jayne," Zoe asked, as she clocked a man with the butt of her gun before shooting him with it from close range. Jayne shoved one man off himself as he swung at him, grunting, "Looks like."

Mal whirled on them after shooting three men who had advanced on him. "Can you two wait to have your conversation until after all the killin' is done? We're tryin' to win a war here in case you forgot."

"We are winning," the girl said as she sidled up to Jayne. He moved a few steps over towards River. The girl was creepin' him out somethin' fierce. The soldier River was fighting, was surprisingly quick and he managed to connect a strong punch to her jaw, causing her to stumble. Jayne lunged forward as she fell back, covering the soldier's face with one hand as he shoved his knife deep into his chest with the other and twisted the blade. Something sharp sliced his arm and Jayne turned just in time to block as yet another soldier stepped close, swinging his own blade at Jayne haphazardly. Jayne dodged, tossing his knife to his other hand before ramming into his gut. He bit out a curse as he glanced down at the cut on his arm. It was bleeding heavily.

* * *

Wash maneuvered Serenity on her side as he flew low over the building that was low to the ground, nearly completely underground. Delilah fired into it as did several crafts following close behind them. The facility erupted in flames and Wash pulled back up to face the third Alliance skiff to have appeared to attack in the past hour.

"It ain't gonna stop is it," Kaylee asked, quietly over the comm. Wash didn't respond for a long while. "It's not gonna end as long as there's still Alliance forces to be sent out."

"I hope they're okay down there," she replied and Wash sighed deeply as he tried to focus again on the skiff as it veered in front of him close enough to fire on. Delilah's voice cam on over the comm just as the skiff began to break apart and another two came into view. "Got him."

"Well, we're not done by a long shot it seems," Wash answered back as he began spinning around the two skiff dizzily in a mad dash to throw them of his trail.

"Delilah, you okay up there," he called after the last of Serenity's revolutions. There was no answer. "Delilah?"

Wash let out a string of curses and called over the comm, "We lost Delilah. Matt, get up there!"

* * *

Jayne ripped the jacket sleeve off a nearby body and tied it around his arm hastily. Zoe and Mal had both disappeared into the fog; Barrett had disappeared long before they had. Someone screamed beside him, and he saw a young boy in Academy patient garb doubled over with a gut shot wound. He turned just in time to catch River fell four soldiers at once. Beating his way towards her with unabashed brutality, Jayne gritted his teeth past the pain of his raw and bleeding knuckles. They weren't going to live through this. No one was. He was no less than two steps away from her when he caught sight of the purplebelly not far behind her, his gun aimed and ready to fire.

"No," he snarled shoving her aside just before the gun fired. River stood frozen in place as Jayne was hit in the chest one, two, three times, blood spattering his tee shirt.

And then she was screaming.

Mal, Zoe, and Barrett had been pushed off to the side and had slowly been working their way back when he caught sight of Jayne tearing his way towards River fiercely. He had seen the soldier behind River ready to fire and had believed she was going to die until Jayne had shoved her out of the way and then been shot to hell for the sacrifice as River watched on in horror. Then she had begun to scream in a way that Mal had never heard anyone scream. It was the sound of a soul dying, the sound of complete and utter loss. Things grew still suddenly as men on both sides were drawn from battle by her anguished, enraged screams. In a flurry of enraged activity, the Academy "students" surged forward with unbridled fury, cutting down everyone in their path. River fell to her knees, reaching out with shaky hands as she pillowed Jayne's head on her lap. "No, no, no, Jayne," she cried, "you can't leave, you can't do this to me. This is not how we end!"

River moved her hands down to his chest, trying hard to stay calm and failing miserably as she applied pressure to the holes in his chest. Jayne coughed, "M'okay, Baby, just got a little shot up is all."

Jayne coughed more forcefully, his eyes trying hard to focus on her as he reached up to touch her hair. He smiled up at her and wheezed out through lips tinged red with his own blood, "My Wendy-bird."

River looked up as Mal, Zoe, and Barrett, came up beside them, throwing down arms as they bent to pick up their fallen crew member.

"He can't die," she bit out as her hot tears burned paths down her cheeks. Mal nodded as they pulled him up from the ground and began to run back towards the medical tents, hoping they were still there.

* * *

There hadn't been an oncoming skiff in over an hour when Simon called over his portable comm for Wash to land Serenity. The other independent vessels had already begun to land in preparations for their crews to join the battle on the ground. Simon would only say he needed the equipment in the med Bay and Wash could hear River in the background wailing Jayne's name over and over. His landing was more bumpy than usual in his haste. The Bay doors had barely opened when Mal and Barrett came rushing up into the ship carrying Jayne. Zoe was holding onto River's shoulders, supporting the young woman as best she could. She helped her to the couch as they situated Jayne on the bed and Simon began to operate. River rocked back and forth, staring at her blood soaked hands as they shook. "His blood. It should have been my blood, our blood together always never apart."

"River," Kaylee questioned softly and she shook her head. "Growth only brought death. She brought him death!"

"No, River," Kaylee cried, her heart tearing as she watched River sob in pain, "Jayne ain't gonna die. He ain't never gonna leave you."

"She's right, Honey," Zoe said, rubbing her back, "ain't right for a man willing to give up his life for love to die."

River didn't respond and Zoe helped her up. "Let's go get you cleaned up."

She followed the first mate listlessly, letting her rinse the blood and grime from her hands and knees. She convulsed suddenly, spilling the contents of her stomach into the the toilet as Zoe held her hair back. River wretched for several more minutes before they finally returned to their silent vigil outside the Med Bay. River sat close to Matt, the two of them holding hands tightly as they both stared at the doors before them with ashen faces. All they could do was wait and pray that the war ended and Jayne lived.

* * *

fei fei de piyan: baboon's ass-crack

A/N: So i thought this part would be harder to write than the rest was but i think this was one of the easier chapters. tell me what you think.

P.S. i hope you were able to guess what the book was. if not just ask and i'll tell in the next chapter in the author notes section.


	14. The Science of Sleep

**I own nothing.  
**

* * *

When Simon had emerged from the Med Bay, his face drawn, River and Matt had begun to assume the worst. Matt stared down at his boots. He didn't need no one seein' the tears in his eyes. River had leaned her head on his shoulder to muffle her sobs. Mal and Inara had come out behind Simon covered in blood. Mal had a white gauze bandage over his arm as did Wash. Being AB, Jayne was a universal receiver. Kaylee herself had donated some of her own blood. 

"How is he, Doc," Zoe asked, trying to keep the worry from her voice, "he gonna live?"

Simon scrubbed at his hands with a red stained towel. "I don't know. He was hit in the right ventricle and both lungs and he lost a lot of blood. In all honesty, if he makes it, it's going to be a miracle."

"Can me an' River see him, Doc," Matt asked quietly, trying to keep his tone even though his voice invariably broke, "can we see my brother?"

"If you want, but he's not conscious and he's still very unstable," Simon warned. Matt nodded solemnly as he helped River to stand and they slowly entered the Med Bay. Upon seeing the amount of tubes connected to Jayne, River collapsed into heavier sobs against Matt, who wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Aww, Kid, I'm sure he's been shot up like this 'afore."

She took in the respirator tube snaked down his throat as she came to stand at his head, burying her shaking fingers in his hair. She leaned her forehead down against his, closing her eyes, and, for the first time in nearly two years, she tried to peek into Jayne Cobb's mind.

Jayne's mind was fluid, like being underwater. Everything was blurred and distorted and even his most coherent thoughts came out in confused murmurs that reverberated in her own mind. Something whispered her name, rubbing against her own mind. The dim, blue light was flickering on and off. Every time it would flicker back on, the light would be dimmer than before. He was dying and fighting hard not to. River concentrated harder, letting her thoughts mingle with his own fading ones. _You can't leave me, Jayne Cobb. _Before she could stop herself, the memories of his dreams began to flood her mind. They swirled into the forefront and the pain they caused within her was unbearable.

She pulled away suddenly, gasping. Matt grabbed her by the shoulders as her entire body began to convulse, wracked with sobs. "He can't find the second star! He can't find it, he can't find me!"

She sank to the floor, Matt following her as she continued to gasp for air. Mal stepped forward, pulling River up roughly. He shoved her towards Kaylee. "Get her out of here, I don't want her near him less he wakes up an' even then I ain't sure, dong ma?"

Jayne remained inexplicably unconscious for nearly three months. During this time, Liann Jun was no longer occupied by the Alliance. The war had ended when it became clear that the reason the Alliance was no longer attacking was because the Independents had killed every last Alliance Purplebelly. This war had accomplished what Mal and Zoe had set out to accomplish (like so many Browncoats in the Unification war). They had reinstated freedom throughout the 'verse. Previously ungoverned, unaided, Alliance controlled rim planets were establishing their own governments, and establishing their own identity in the 'verse.

But all of this had come at a high cost. The Academy Test subjects had provided Simon with invaluable knowledge about River. She wasn't as insane as they had previously believed her to be and she was the most stable of all those to have emerged from the Academy. Many, as a result of the experiments done upon them, had developed epilepsy, schizophrenia, and extreme bipolar disorder. In the most extreme cases the students were afflicted with Frontotemporal Lobar Degeneration-something only found within the aged. This led Simon to conclude rather grimly that the Alliance had begun doing more and more testing; testing which River had not been subjected to. Serenity had taken on the responsibility of returning each student to their families within the Core.

Simon was convinced that now that the Alliance was no longer a threat, he and River were free to return home. While the rest of the crew disagreed rather heatedly with this assumption, River remained silent on the subject. She preferred to spend her time sneaking off to Jayne's bunk where she would curl up into a ball on his bed and sob for hours on end as she tried desperately to hold on to the faint humming that projected from his mind to hers. Mal had forbidden her from entering the infirmary, fearing the sight of all the equipment would force her into another episode. But every night she would sneak down to sit beside her lover, holding his large hand in hers. She would watch for hours as the respirator pumped air into his lungs, causing his chest to rise and fall dramatically. River wept bitterly. Why hadn't he woken up? Had Simon lied? Was it worse than he had let on? That had to have been it.

"Thought I made it clear that you wasn't ta be in here, River," Mal said from the doorway. River refused to look up at him as she said in a hollow voice, "I have just as much right to be here as any other member of the crew."

Mal let his gaze fall to her hands that were cradling Jayne's limp one in her lap. "What makes you say that?"

"We're family," she stated, looking up at him suddenly, "and part of being family is watching over one another."

Mal nodded and River dropped her gaze down to the lifeless hand in her lap. "I won't go back to them, to Osiris."

Mal pulled one of the chairs over to sit next to her as she continued to talk softly. "I'm not River Tam, daughter of Gabriel and Regan, anymore. I am River Tam of the Firefly class ship Serenity. You are my father and Serenity is my home. Osiris is nothing but a memory."

"I'm inclined to agree, River," Mal said in a quiet voice, putting a strong hand on River's shoulder, "you're family an' I ain't too keen on lettin' family go."

She pursed her lips into a thin line. "He is fading. Simon wants to pull the plugs and push him under the water."

For once, Mal understood. "Ain't nothin' gonna happen to the big dumb man."

Mal stood slowly. River squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her forehead. Mal ran his fingers through her tangled hair slowly. "You okay?"

She nodded slowly. "Just a headache from continually monitoring his progress. It is nothing to worry yourself about, Captain Daddy."

Mal nodded and exited the infirmary, casting a long scrutinizing look over his shoulder. River was paler than usually, almost sickly from lack of sleep and her eyes were unusually glassy as she continued to stare forlornly at Jayne.

* * *

She could feel Simon's intentions scratching at the back of her mind. It was the doctor in him and River would not have been opposed to his decision had it been anyone other than Jayne, but she was not ready to let go. How Simon had talked Mal into it, she wasn't sure. She only knew she would never forgive either of them. The crew had crowded into the infirmary to say their last goodbyes as Simon prepared to shut off the respirator and River was trying hard to stay calm and collected. Kaylee and Inara were crying silently in one another's arms while Zoe and Wash held on to one another with saddened expressions. Matt and Barrett were staring at the white floor, tension radiating from their bodies. 

"Do it, Doc," Mal rasped out finally, preparing to turn and leave. Simon nodded silently and watched as the machine gave one final hiss as it shut down and pulled the tube from Jayne's mouth as gently as possible. He paused as River took one shaky step forward, letting the tips of her fingers graze Jayne's cheek as her hands came up to cup his face and turn him towards her. She bent down and whispered in a ragged voice, "I love you, Jayne Cobb," and then she kissed him. As she pulled away, he convulsed suddenly and it took her a minute to realize Jayne was coughing. She pulled back further and Jayne opened his eyes. He stared at her, slightly dazed as he tried to focus and River bent down once more, coming closer to him. He grinned slowly.

"Well," he hissed out painfully as his throat was raw from the breathing tube, "if it ain't my Wendy-bird."

River's lower lip quivered for only a moment as she sobbed out in a small voice, "Jayne Cobb, you are not to to save my life at the expense of your own ever again."

"I only got a little shot up," he coughed. Matt snorted beside her, drawing his attention away from River, "You been out cold fer three months ya dumb ox. Ma ain't gonna be too happy with you neither."

"Um," Simon stuttered out as he searched his mind for something to say. Seeing River confess her love for a dying Jayne and then Jayne miraculously come back to life from a kiss was more than a little startling. "Jayne needs to rest and I'm quite sure I'm in shock, so I think it would be best if for now we left Jayne alone and I went somewhere else to contemplate whether or not I have truly gone mad this time."

Mal blinked down at Jayne, who was grinning proudly to himself. "I'm with you, Doc."

* * *

A/N: It's short, but bear with me. The pacing of this chapter to forever. I'd tell you what's to come, but then you'd have no reason to continue reading, would you? Reviews would be lovely, hint hint HINT... 


	15. Family Pt 1

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Much to Simon and Mal's dismay, River refused to evacuate the infirmary. After spending several uncomfortable nights laying on the makeshift counter bed, even Jayne insisted she should go sleep in her own room. River frowned at this. He was supposed to be happy she was looking after him. He was supposed to be happy she hadn't killed him for getting himself nearly shot dead. Men were such boobs.

Simon had started up with his insistence that River be drugged once more as all she had been through was traumatic and there was obviously something wrong with her mentally if she would kiss Jayne on the mouth. The last part of his argument had made her laugh. Jayne had taken offense and ignored her for the better part of two days. Boob. Simon had tried to stick her with a sedative while she had been in the infirmary, trying to gain Jayne's attention. He had cornered her, and she had thought she really would end up unconscious in her bed for three days when Jayne had punched Simon. Then he'd yelled at her for making it so he couldn't ignore her. So she'd slapped him for being a boob and hitting Simon. Then she slapped Simon for trying to sedate her and causing Jayne to have to hit him. This only made Simon believe more fervently that his sister was indeed relapsing.

"Once we're home, things will be better," Simon had assured her at dinner. He had been bragging for weeks about how things could go back to the way they had been before she had gone to the Academy. How they would go back to Osiris, back to a life of privilege and he could go back to becoming a trauma surgeon and River could go back to school. River had tuned him out as he talked, watching as Jayne made the challenging trek from the doorway to his seat beside her. He was still in quite a lot of pain, but had refused everyone's help. She had understood his need to be self-sufficient. She had continued to pick at her protein mash.

"We can finally put all this behind us," Simon said jovially, missing the way Kaylee cringed back at his words and everyone tensed, "we can go back to the way things were. The way things are supposed to be. Mother and Father will be delighted to see us. We'll be with our family again and-"

"Simon, you dimwitted fool," River said in an angry whisper, "this will never be behind us."

"Of course it will, River-"

"No," she snapped, pushing herself up, "it happened for a reason. If it hadn't happened, what they did-"

"You would be happy," Simon said, "things would have been the way they should be."

"Simon, I'm glad they did what they did to me."

"What?" Simon wasn't sure he had heard his sister correctly and he could tell by everyone else's expressions that he wasn't the only one. River smiled sadly at her brother. "If they hadn't done what they did to me, you would never have met Kaylee." She pointed to Mal. "I would never have found a father who actually loves me."

"Our real father does love you," Simon argued and River shook her head. "No, Simon. He loved what prestige we could bring to the family name. He loved the idea of you being one of the greatest surgeons in the core and he loved that one day he could marry me off to some stupid core boy who came from old money. Captain Daddy loves us. He has taken more care of us than Gabriel Tam ever has. He saved us when father would have abandoned us."

"That isn't true and you know it, River," Simon cried weakly and River sighed. "Simon, I will not stay on Osiris. I don't belong there anymore than you belong out on the rim in a bar fight."

"River," Simon snarled, slamming his hands down on the table in a sudden fit of anger. River jumped slightly and her eyes widened. "We will go back."

"No, Simon, I'm not going."

"I rescued you."

"She rescued you back, Simon," Jayne said quietly. Simon glared at him. "This is all your fault."

"His fault? How is it his fault that the government played god with my brain? How is it his fault that they took away parts of me? How is it his fault that they killed an entire planet full of people and created Reavers? How is it his fault that mother and father don't love us?" River felt the pit of her stomach convulse. Her brother's inability to face the truth made her sick. "Simon, they won't be family to us; ever."

"River, you don't know what you're saying. The Alliance is gone. Mother and Father will understand when we tell them-"

"River, you okay?" Zoe asked, when she saw the sickly shade of yellow that the young woman turned. River nodded that she was fine and Jayne held out a hand to steady her when she swayed slightly as she came to sit back down. There was a stowaway on board. She could hear them whispering nonsensical gibberish in her ears. River shook her head to rid herself of the thoughts and he brother sighed. "See, you're getting worse. Going home will be for the best."

"She ain't goin' nowhere," Jayne said evenly. Simon leveled his eyes on the mercenary contemptuously. "I don't think it's your place to decide where my sister does and doesn't go."

"It ain't," he agreed, "but she done said she ain't goin' so she ain't goin'."

Kaylee and Inara were both studying River worriedly. She continued to stare at her half eaten protein mash with a look of disgust on her face. Mal stared between his mercenary and Simon along with Zoe and Wash.

"I myself ain't too keen on how you an' River have been gettin' along so well, Jayne," Mal said in a calm, yet icy voice. "Fact, I'm thinkin' it might be best the Tams spent some time with their folks fer a bit-"

"Mal?!"

"What-"

"I don't want to!"

"You can't be-"

"This isn't up for discussion," Mal bellowed. Once the crew quieted, he said in a more leveled voice, "now, I ain't sayin' they gotta stay there. River an' Simon are more'n welcome to come back an' I ain't ever said they was goin' alone. I conjure Mr. and Mrs. Tam oughta meet those that been lookin' out fer their kin."

"They won't like any of you," River whispered, pushing the plate away from herself, "not even Inara."

"Don't mean much to me," Mal replied with a shrug. "Just curious to see what you come from an' until we hit dirt, you are to stay away from Jayne-"

"No."

Mal frowned at her. "Yes."

"No."

"Yes, this is not negotiable, River."

"I'm not negotiating, I'm telling. No."

"River, Jayne isn't a good man," Simon said and she glared at her brother. "And your point would be?"

"Yer brother's just tryin' to say yer too sweet a girl to be 'round a dirty man like Jayne."

"I kill reavers," River snorted, "and I like that Jayne is dirty."

Despite himself, Jayne smirked. Mal glared at him and he scowled back. River swayed once more. "I don't feel good," she muttered to herself. Simon was on his feet and rounding the table in a matter of seconds. River was quicker. She dashed to the sink and began to heave. Kaylee and Simon were the first to reach her. Kaylee held back her hair and rubbed her back while Simon watched his sister's every move with a sharp eye.

"River, why was you just blasting in my sink?"

She glared at the captain, but it was Jayne who answered for her. "Next we'll make sure she does it in yer lap."

"How come you didn't tell nobody you was gettin' sick," Kaylee asked in a sad voice. River pouted apologetically. "I am fine. I only feel this way when things become upsetting. It's because of the stowaway."

"We got a stowaway on our ship an' you didn't tell me?" Mal was now completely enraged. River lowered her head. "I don't know where they are. I can't find them and they keep saying strange things that make less sense than I do."

"Okay, I want everyone 'cept River searchin' this boat top to bottom," Mal instructed, standing at the head of the table. River sighed in exasperation, her voice raw. "You won't find them. I don't even know if it is a male or female."

It was then she noticed Jayne staring at her strangely. He looked both scared and anxious, but also excited. She raised an eyebrow and he grinned at her. She frowned in confusion. Simon led her back to her room and she curled up on her bed, listening as the rest of the crew patrolled the ship in hopes of finding the stowaway.

* * *

No one had been found and River insisted up until they reached Osiris a week later that someone was there on the ship. She began to agree with Simon about possibly relapsing when they followed them dirt side, mumbling into her brain about how warm they were. After one whiff of Simon's cologne, she was bent over vomiting into the street, several passerbys wrinkling their nose in disgust. Jayne had held back her hair and rubbed her back. He told Simon not to come near her again. The stowaway didn't like Simon's scent either because it made her sick. Jayne held her close the entire way to her parent's house, ignoring Mal as he growled at his mercenary that it was unnecessary. She was happy that Jayne's smell didn't make her sick the way Simon's did. 

Jayne reluctantly let her go once they reached the large, gated house off the main street. He whistled low. "That is one fancy core-house."

"And how," Wash said in awe as he ran a hand down a bar on one of the gates, "I bet they've got chocolate."

"Eww," River mumbled as she leaned into Jayne. He smiled down at her and ran his fingers through her hair as the gates opened slowly. Simon have waved their parents the moment they had docked. River gripped Jayne's forearm, her nails biting his skin. They moved up towards the house slowly as a group. The scent of fresh paint overwhelmed her and River had to force down the bile that rose in her throat. Jayne glanced down at her sympathetically. The large front door swung open just as another wave of nausea hit and River leapt forward, letting the contents of her stomach empty into a decorative urn just inside the door until she was dry heaving uncontrollably.

"Hi, I'm Captain Reynolds an' this is my crew," Mal said brightly as the maid watched River in utter horror, "we're here to see the Tams."

Jayne stepped forward and helped River back up. Mal pushed past him, giving him an annoyed look. "Quit touchin' on her."

"Yes, please," Simon snapped in agreement, grabbing his sister's arm. The moment he stepped closer, River lurched forward and began vomiting on her brother's shirt front. Simon jumped back in shock and Jayne roared with laughter. "I told you to stay away from her. You smell bad."

Jayne could practically see the light bulb go off in Kaylee's head as she jumped and squealed suddenly. Everyone turned to look at her as if she had gone insane and she shrugged. "I'm excited."

Someone cleared their throat behind them and they all turned to find a middle aged man and woman eying them disdainfully. River pushed farther into Jayne's side. Simon, covered in his sister's vomit stepped forward embarrassedly and said in a controlled, voice, "Mother, father, River and I have come home."

"Not our home," River snapped as she looked out from behind Jayne. Regan Tam turned to look at her daughter and River met her eyes defiantly. "Yer Ma's a-"

"Matty," Jayne warned and his brother shrugged. "What? They ain't lookin' too happy to see their kids is all I'm sayin'."

"Because we disgraced them," River said softly, "we were ungrateful. Should have been happy I was getting needles stuck into my brainpan. Should have been happy to help the Alliance."

"That's the stupidest Gorram thing I ever heard," Matt cried belligerently and Mal shot him a silencing glare. He glared back. "Well, it _is_, Cap'n, you gotta agree with me on that."

"Simon," Gabriel said in a regal tone, "what is it exactly you need? Money? Are you in trouble with the law?"

"What? No," Simon exclaimed in confusion. "We just wanted to come home. We missed you."

"I didn't," River argued. Simon continued as if she hadn't spoken. "We missed you."

"I see," Gabriel said with a curt nod. Regan continued to eye her daughter suspiciously, ignoring Simon as he made the introductions. She looked up finally at Jayne, tilting her head to the side. "What is it exactly you do?"

"I kill people," he grunted sharply and Gabriel Tam stepped back a fraction of an inch. Mal smirked. "He's also our Public Relations man."

"Of course," Regan snorted, patting down her dark hair as if it had become ruffled in some manner. She turned to Mal. "So you have just been traipsing across the 'verse, dragging my children along with you?"

"Pretty much, only most times they followed along willingly," Mal agreed, eyes shining with mischief. Inara pursed her lips in annoyance at Mal's attitude. "Actually, we've been leading a fairly quiet existence as of late."

Everyone turned to look at her with a mixture of amusement and shock. Matt, was, of course the one to speak. "'Nara, you do remember the war we was just in, right?"

"No kidding," Barrett muttered as he rolled his eyes. Jayne huffed. "Would you two shut yer Gorram faces? Ya ain't makin' this any easier an' my chest is achin' somethin' fierce. Let's jus' get this over with an be on our way."

River smiled up at him. "You are very ornery today, Jaguar."

"Damn straight," he growled down at her, "done got myself shot up pretty bad an' now we're out gallavatin' 'round the core with your pansy ass father and prissy momma."

"River, Simon, you are welcome to stay as long as you like," Gabriel said finally, "we would love to have you home once more."

"Of course, River and I will-"

"No, I stay with Captain Daddy and Jayne."

"Captain Daddy," Gabriel asked disdainfully, straightening his dark waistcoat. River pointed to Mal who was smirking proudly. Jayne couldn't blame him. He was feelin' all manner a shiny as well.

"River, this is nonsense. Don't you want to come back and see all your friends again?" Her mother asked. River shook her head. "No. Not as important to her as her family."

"Important to who," Regan asked in confusion. River pointed to herself and Regan frowned even more. "But we are your family."

River shook her head adamantly. "Left me for dead and wouldn't help Simon. Not real, Serenity home in the sky. The Jaguar and the swan, the butterfly and the swallow, the puma and the seagull, the lion and the peacock, the panther, the black bear. A family."

"River, make sense," Regan pleaded, reaching out a hand to her daughter. River pulled back. "I stay with Jayne."

"But why?" Regan wrinkled her nose. "How could you possibly choose them over us?"

"They take care of me and I take care of them," she replied. "I stay with Jayne."

"Don't be ridiculous," Gabriel said suddenly. "Your mother and I will set you and Simon up somewhere in town and the both of you can find suitable jobs-"

"I stay with Jayne!" She looked up at him with worried eyes. "Don't let them-"

"Oh, don't be loopy," he snapped at her, covering her mouth with his hand, "ya ain't goin' nowhere."

"Jayne, she is-"

Jayne glared at Simon. "I said, she ain't goin' nowhere an' I done meant it. You wanna keep arguin' with me 'bout it?"

Jayne heard the sound of the safety being let off and turned to see that Matt had leveled his gun on Simon. Mal held up his hands suddenly. "Whoa, this got a bit outta control fast, didn't it?"

"Gee, Mal, you think?" Inara asked caustically, muttering, "Idiot."

"She stays with me an' that's that."

"She's our daughter," Regan protested. Despite the pain in his chest, Jayne pulled River up into his arms. "Well, she's got my bun in 'er oven, so she stays with me, dong ma?!"

River had been kissing her way along Jayne's jawline and paused in her actions to mull over his words. "Yes, that does explain the invisible stowaway." She tugged gently on his goatee, "my jaguar is very clever."

"What?!"

"You dirty sonofa-"

"Oh, River how wonderful-"

"River how could you-"

"Jayne, you best be-"

"Congratulations!" Mal and Simon whirled to glare at the pilot. Wash glanced between the two of them nervously. "Was that not the right thing to say?"

"It was, husband," Zoe assured him, glaring at Mal. "These two hun dans is just thinkin' they know what's best for everyone."

River nodded to the first mate as she nuzzled against Jayne's neck. "They are the biggest boobs of all."

"River, how did this happen?" Simon covered his face with his hands. She frowned down at him as if he were dumb. "We had sex."

"I am aware of that, but the whole thing, how-"

"He kissed her on the mouth," River said proudly, smiling up at Jayne. "The stars burst and she saw Book's heaven."

"Well, I'm happy for you two. In my opinion the 'verse needs as many mercenary assassins as it can get," Wash proclaimed, and River turned over in Jayne's arms so that she could place a gentle kiss on Wash's cheek. "Thank you, Ge Ge."

"Yeah, thanks Little Man," Jayne added. Zoe asked tentatively, "Jayne, ain't you scared? I mean, you're gonna be a father."

He shrugged. "Bound to knock someone up sometime. Jus' glad it's her an' not some whore seein' as I'm pretty fond of her an' all."

"Oh, Jayne, how romantic of you," Kaylee sighed, though it came out as more of a question than an observation. Regan and Gabriel were completely outraged. "River, how could you with this-this man!"

"Because he loves me," she said in a dreamy voice and Jayne rolled his eyes. "I ain't never said that."

"Don't have to. You scream it at me in your sleep." She kissed his scruffy cheek and he frowned. "I do not."

She poked him hard in the middle of the chest. "You do, too."

He slit his eyes as he glared down at her. "Mebbe."

River let out a contentedly giggle as she avidly attacked Jayne's mouth with her own. Mal was sure he heard Jayne mumble "We'll be in my bunk" as he made for the door with River still cradled in his arms.

"Well, this has been both adorable an' creepifyin'. Think I need some strong alcohol," Mal said as he turned to look at a bewildered and angry Simon. "You comin' or stayin' with yer folks?"

* * *

How Gabriel and Regan Tam had managed to talk him into letting them stay on his ship as they traveled to Kerry, Mal wasn't sure. He only knew he must have been close to passin' out when they'd asked him. He'd agree to just about anything when drunk. Neither River nor Jayne had been too pleased with him. Especially when River's mother had made it her personal mission to keep the two a part. She followed River everywhere. River had finally given up on trying to sneak of to meet Jayne and instead remained holed up in her room. Jayne dealt with his frustration in a completely different manner. He made everyone cry. He hit people. He had hit Simon four times. He had hit Mal five times and he had hit Gabriel Tam a grand total of eight times. Mal chalked it up to his not being able to hit Regan Tam on account of her bein' a lady. Instead he made her cry. Jayne made sure to tell her every crude joke he could think of and describe every kill shot he'd made in detail. He'd even managed to make Zoe cry, which was no easy feat. He'd done so after a job where the client (as usual) had decided they didn't want to pay. Being fed up with the way they, or more importantly he was being treated lately, Jayne had squeezed of three shots; one in each man's head saying in an agitated voice. "I can deal with not gettin' ta sex my girl, but I ain't havin'er an' my kid starve jus' cause some low down dirty hun dan ain't feelin' he oughta pay us what we're owed." 

Zoe had burst into tears. It was the creepiest thing Mal had ever seen in his life. Zoe crying was unnatural, of that he was sure. They walked up into the cargo bay, Zoe still sniffling, Jayne grumbling about how his cut wasn't gonna be big enough to support three instead of one only to find River pointing a loaded glock at her mother. Simon was slowly creeping closer to his sister. "River, you don't know what you're doing. Just put the gun down."

"No." River was sobbing hysterically. "I can't take it anymore. Mother is always sad because Daddy is not around. The three are hurting. It's all her fault."

"Hey," Jayne barked, "quit it."

River lowered her gun instantly, reapplying the safety and Jayne stormed over to Regan Tam with a feral glint in his eye that caused the woman to back up quickly. He was shaking his finger at her. "You may be a woman, but you damage her calm like this one more time an' I'll do more'n hit ya. I'll put one a Vera's bullets 'tween yer eyes."

"Jayne," Mal warned and Jayne turned on him suddenly. Jayne suddenly yelled. "That goes fer all o' ya. You piss either one a us off an' I will end you right quick!"

He turned his angry gaze to River. "You go to my bunk right now. I got things I need to do to you."

River bit her lip and nodded, turning away from them all. She was beginning to waddle a little. It made Jayne smile. He glared at everyone menacingly and once sure he wasn't going to get any trouble from any of them, he followed River, catching up to her quickly. He gave her a quick smack on the bottom and she squealed rubbing the spot he'd assaulted. Either it was his imagination or her chest was bigger than he'd remembered it. She followed his gaze and smirked. "Those are not for you."

"Yes they are," he argued, pointing to her abdomen, "I'm jus' gonna be loanin' em' out fer a bit."

"Jayne Cobb, you have a very dirty mind."

"You like it."

"Yes, I do."

He gave her another hard smack as she descended the ladder into his bunk first. He was rewarded with another surprised squeak.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter will be about the Cobbs and the Tams and one of the other Academy students. Reviews would be super. 


	16. Family Pt 2

**I won nothing. A/Ns are posted at the bottom. Be sure to read if you're confused...or don't read them, it's up to you. **

* * *

It was nearing the end of her second trimester and River had seriously considered performing her own Cesarean. Nobody had told her pregnancy was this tiresome. She felt fat, useless, tired, grouchy. She had thrown her boot at her father and knocked him unconscious when he had not so subtly threatened to have Jayne taken care of he did not take River as his wife. Simon and her mother had been absolutely horrified, though River knew her mother found it slightly amusing as she seemed to be trying to look more upset than she really was.

"I do not need to be married to have a baby and be a mother," she had declared primly, "and Jayne is not my favorite person right now."

"What," Jayne asked, tipping his chair back onto all four legs as he stared at her incredulously, "what'd I do?"

"You," she accused, pointing on angry finger in his face from across the table, "put this-this-this-"

She suddenly burst into tears. "I'm fat!"

Jayne looked like a deer in headlights suddenly. "Aww, Wendy-bird, don't cry. You ain't fat. You just got a kid in ya that's gettin' ready to pop out."

"It's your fault. You stuck it in me! I wish we were seahorses," she wailed as Jayne patted her back awkwardly. He was sure he would never be good with handling a woman in tears. Simon burst into a fit of laughter. Jayne glared at him and shoved him in the face hard, causing him to face plant onto the hard metal floor. "Don't you be laughin' at her. Expectin' women ain't got it easy, you nitwit!"

Simon was too busy laughing to be properly insulted. "I'm not laughing at her. I'm laughing at what she said."

Even Regan was smiling. "Mr. Cobb, the female seahorse lays her eggs in the male seahorse's pouch, he fertilizes them and then carries them to term."

The expression on Jayne's face shifted from shock to amusement in a matter of seconds and he hugged the still bawling River gently, "Baby, if it were up ta me, you wouldn't have ta go through this. After this'un gets out, we don't gotta have anymore if you don't want."

"Slightly thinks I'm fat," she mumbled miserably. Jayne smiled. "No, he don't. You just been real cranky an' it scares him."

"Yeah, Kid," Matt said from his place at the table where he was consuming a bowl of noodles with protein sauce, "you ain't near as fat as Ma was when she had-"

Jayne's bowl of noodles came down over Matt's head, silencing him. Jayne pushed it down farther on his younger brother's head, smirking as he glared. "This is why you ain't never gonna get a girl. Ya say stupid things. An' River ain't fat; she's all glowy an' pretty an' she has this cute little waddle walk-"

"Like a duck," she grumbled next to him, "I walk like a Gorram Mallard."

"Ducks is cute," Kaylee proclaimed sunnily as she wafted into the mess followed by Mal and Inara. River glared at her. "I hope for your sake you still feel that way when you are forced to carry Simon's illegitimate children and your feet swell up to twice their normal size."

Kaylee's cheery expression faltered slightly. "River, it can't be that bad."

"It is," River and Regan said simultaneously. River shot her mother a glare as Jayne helped her over to sit on the couch in the lounge. Simon and Regan had propped Gabriel Tam up in one of the lounge chairs and were busy trying to rouse him. Simon sighed. "Really, River, you can't keep attacking people. We understand that this is taking a lot out of you, but-"

"Simon, you will never have to give birth, so you do not truly comprehend how strenuous it is. Also, I have not attacked that many people."

"This is the second time you've knocked father out!"

"He deserved it," she said with a shrug and Jayne nodded as he settled down on the table across from her and grabbed up one of her feet and began to rub. "He was bein' a little on the uptight side, Doc."

"Well, I for one, am glad he said something," Simon huffed. "It's not right for a woman to have a child out of wedlock."

River waved her brother off. "I'm not all that proper, Simon."

Jayne grinned. "Ain't that the truth. Some a the things you do with that little mouth a yours-"

"Hey," Mal barked, glaring at his mercenary, "none of us need ta know what you an' my Li'l Albatross have been doin' in yer bunk. Keep it 'tween the two of you."

Jayne rolled his eyes and River smirked at him. Jayne looked back at the Captain. "So, how close'er we ta Kerry?"

"'Bout two days," Mal replied, watching merrily as Simon tried in vain to wake his father. "That, yer handy work, little girl?"

River nodded and he smiled at her proudly. "Good job."

"Mal," Inara hissed and he shrugged. "I don't rightly care who she attacks so long as it ain't me. If it's one thing I do know it's that you don't get on a pregnant lady's bad side."

Inara sighed in exasperation as she rolled her eyes and followed Mal up to the bridge, trying hard not to smile at the truth of what he had said.

* * *

"Man is it ever good ta be home," Matt sighed as he stepped onto the solid ground of Kerry followed by Barrett. Both men immediately pulled out a cigar. Jayne gave Matt a hard smack on the back of the head. "Don't be gettin' near my woman with that 'er I'll beat yer ass an' feed ya ta a whole passel o' Reavers."

He glared at Barrett. "Goes fer you, too, Big man."

"I gotcha, Cobb," Barrett nodded with a smile. Matt threw Jayne an annoyed look and moved away from the group and as far away from River as possible. "Ma's gonna kill ya, Jayne, ya do know that."

"An' why would she kill'er favorite son," Jayne asked, as he hauled River up into his arms with little trouble. The idea of her having to walk the entire way to the house didn't sit well with him. Matt smirked. "'Cause you ain't married her before you got'er in the family way."

"She'll deal an' if'n she don't-"

"I can kill her with my brain if you want me to," River offered and Jayne snickered. Mal blinked at her. "That ain't a nice thing ta say 'bout yer baby's Granma."

"Aw, hell, Mal, she wouldn't really do it. She likes my Ma."

River nodded as she leaned against his chest. "She is a good woman and an excellent mother."

Regan and Gabriel both appeared at the mouth of the cargo bay and slowly made their way down the ramp. Gabriel wrinkled his nose in distaste while Regan looked around with a curious eye.

"What a-"

"It's positively charming," Regan declared with a small smile. Gabriel turned to his wife in surprise and dismay. "You don't really mean that do you?"

"She does," River answered for her with a mischievous look in her big brown eyes. "If mother had been allowed she would have settled on a rim planet such as this and married a man like Jayne. They are more her type."

Simon nearly choked on his tongue and Kaylee hit his back. Zoe was trying hard not to smile as were Mal and Inara, who had had the good grace to turn away. Barrett was full out laughing as was Matt who had bent over to rest his hands on his knees. Wash smirked, "I guess it runs in the family."

Gabriel Tam had turned a very dark shade of angry purple. "River, your mother and I are very happily married people."

"I never said you weren't." River smirked up at Jayne as they began to walk toward town and he grinned, "Yer a little troublemaker, ya know that?"

"My mother thinks you have nice arms," she sighed as she ran her hand down his shoulder softly, "I quite agree."

"Troublemaker," he snickered, kissing the crown of her head. As they crested a hill, up trotted the white stallion. River waved at him. "Hello!"

Jayne's arms tightened around her protectively and she rolled her eyes. "He's not going to harm us, Jayne."

"I don't like the way he looks at ya."

She smirked up at him playfully. "Are you jealous of a horse, Jayne?"

"No, he just stares at ya funny is all," he replied, snarling at the horse. The horse let out an indignant puff of air and continued to circle the group in a skittish trot. River wrapped her arms more securely around Jayne's neck. "You hurt his feelings."

"Good."

"River, horses don't have feelings," her father said in a stately voice as he brushed imaginary dust from his suit front. River rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Yes, they do. All mammals have feelings."

"They do not," he argued back and she glowered at him. "My IQ is higher than yours, which means I know more than you."

"Just ignore 'im," Jayne whispered to her as they started down the other side of the hill and the farmhouse came into view, "he's just pissed 'cause he knows he's dumber'n dirt."

"I'll have you know, Sir, I am a Senior Officer at the law firm of which-"

"Blah, blah, blah," Matt sneered, making a face at Gabriel before waving him off, "that don't make a lick a difference out here on Kerry. All that matters is ya got a strong back, a quick mouth, an' a quicker gun."

"How refined you all must be," Gabriel sniped and River glared over Jayne's shoulder at the man. "Father, your attitude is deplorable. I recommend you keep your mouth shut from now on or I'll let Jayne have a nice chat with you."

Not quite catching her subtle threat he continued on, "Oh, yes, a chat with the man who knocked up my daughter and knows nothing about anything other than guns, knives, and whores, I'll bet."

Jayne came to a dead halt and turned, staring down Gabriel with furious eyes. Gabriel stopped dead in his tracks.

"Cap'n," Jayne bit out ominously, "permission to have a nice chat with Mr. Tam involving more'n a couple large knives?"

"Permission granted, Jayne," Mal said evenly as he came up to stand close to Mr. Tam with just as dark an expression, "I 'xpect ta hear a lot a screamin'."

"Ya ain't chattin' properly with someone 'less they's screamin'," Barrett chuckled. Gabriel Tam sputtered in outrage, "Are you threatening me? I'll have you know, I am a very powerful man on the core-"

Mal, who had continued on, stopped and turned back on the man. "Well, you ain't in the core no more, Mr. Tam, an' we got our own ways out here. Might say, we're our own judge an' jury an' this here jury says no one makes my Li'l Albatross out ta be a piece o' trim."

Mal turned back to follow Jayne and River as Gabriel continued to stare at them dumbfounded and enraged. Matt spit at his feet as he passed. "Well said, Sir," Zoe called after her Captain as she and Wash shouldered past him and Kaylee muttered under her breath, "Yu ben ji ba."

Simon looked at his father sadly. "I had hoped my sister wouldn't have been right, but she is always right."

Regan came to stand next to her husband, a sad look on her face. "Gabriel, they are not who they were when they were with us. You must accept this."

"I don't have to accept anything," he snapped. He stormed off and she followed with a sad sigh.

* * *

Jayne, River, and Matt were engulfed in warm hugs by all. Regan and Gabriel were accepted with cautious hellos. Ma set in on Jayne about River almost immediately. "Well, don't ya wanna marry her?"

Jayne looked down at River nonchalantly and said with a slight shrug of the shoulders. "Oh, I guess."

River punched him in the shoulder with a small smile and he mumbled a less than believable "ouch" as he rubbed the affected area. She smiled at him. "Whether or not Jayne wants to marry me is not important."

"Wha," Amy asked in confusion. River bit her lip in amusement. "Jayne is free to do as he pleases. If he wants to marry me, he can. If he doesn't want to, he doesn't have to. I am perfectly fine with way things are. I leave all familial matters up to the patriarch."

"There you go with that fancy talk a yers," Jayne muttered as he bit into a pear and the juices ran down his large fingers. He didn't seem to notice. He gestured to her playfully. "You know, I might just decide I'm fed up with yer cat'n'mouse game an' take off. How'd that make you feel?"

She shrugged noncommittally. "I would survive."

He snorted indignantly, his hackles raised. "Like hell you Gorram would!"

River raised one delicate eyebrow in his direction. "I would. I would be perfectly capable of raising a child on my own should you decide to leave. Besides, if you left, it would mean you left Serenity. I would still have others to aide me should I be in need of assistance as I assume any offspring of yours will be quite unruly. I would do just fine without you."

"Well, you ain't gonna be without me," he snapped, his face turning red as he yelled at her. She remained passive and it only fueled his anger. He completely missed the amused looks of the women as he bellowed down at her. "We're gettin' married an' that's final."

She shrugged her shoulders as if his decision was of little consequence to her. "Suit yourself, Jayne. As I said before, I leave all familial decisions to the discretion of the patriarch and that would be you."

"That's what I thought," he spat down at her and Inara burst into a fit of unbridled laughter along with Zoe and Kaylee. "What'er you all sa Gorram tickled about?"

"Jayne," Simon said slowly as he tried not to smile, "River just conned you into marrying her."

"I like to think of it as subtle persuasion," River said coolly and Jayne gaped at her. "You little sneak!"

"I learned it from Inara. She does it to Captain Daddy all the time," River defend as she pointed an accusatory finger at the Companion. Inara glared reproachfully at River. "I do not!"

"Do, too," everyone said in unison and she clamped her mouth shut. River crossed her arms. "I rest my case." She turned to Jayne. "I don't want a fancy wedding."

"But River," Kaylee cried, "ya only get married once!"

"Bet Mal wishes he remembered his," Wash quipped and the Captain sent him a warning glare. River remained obstinate. "They are unnecessary and people tend to be overly loud at celebratory functions."

Jayne made a face and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we don't need ya pitchin' one a yer crazy fits."

"I don't pitch fits," she snapped and he glared down at her. "Ya do, too; real bigguns! An' when yer done there's a bunch a people either dead, dying'er injured."

"I'll injure you if you don't watch your mouth, Jayne Cobb," River warned and Jayne continued to glare at her though he didn't say more on the subject. "I don't like you tellin' me what to do."

Kaylee smothered a giggle, hiding her face in Simon's shoulder. River glared up at the big man. "I may be in the family way, but I can still take you."

"What'er you gonna do? Nag me ta death," Jayne mocked, "Oh, please don't. If I hear one more word outta yer mouth my ear drums'll burst!"

River sucked in her lower lip sharply and her eyes widened as they filled with tears. Kaylee shot the mercenary a horrified look. "Jayne, how could ya say somethin' sa mean?"

Jayne shifted from one foot to the other and moved closer to the small woman. "Aw, now, come on, Wendy-bird, don't get all weepy on me!"

He pulled her into his arms and she began to shake. "I didn't mean it! Ya know I think yer alright."

Without warning, River let her balled fist hit Jayne square in the gut and he doubled over. She smiled down at him in a queenly manner. "I told you I could still take you. You're an easier mark than Simon."

"River," Jayne gasped, "that weren't fair!"

"Life isn't fair."

"You just wait," he threatened, "I'll get you when you least expect it."

"I bet you will." She rubbed the spot she had hit on his stomach and he pouted down at her. "That really hurt."

"Well, I did hit you," she snorted.

"I tell ya," Wash declared happily, "it never gets old seein' Jayne get taken out by a woman."

"No, it doesn't, Dear," Zoe said with a small smile. Jayne glared at the pair. "This ain't funny."

"Oh, it is," Mal laughed, "it is mighty hi-larious."

Wash nodded. "Do you realize how much more interesting it's going to be out in the black with you getting beaten up by the little lady on a regular basis? We're gonna need lots of popcorn."

"I'm starting to look forward to it myself," Simon added. Jayne glowered at him. "You wanna go, Doc?"

"Only if you take me out dancing."

Mal clapped a hand on Simon's shoulder. "Good one, Doc, yer funny when ya loosen up enough."

"I don't think he's funny," Jayne muttered and River patted his arm sympathetically. She wrapped her arms around his middle. "No one picks on Jayne but me."

She looked at everyone of them defiantly. "One more person does and I will pitch a fit."

Mal, Zoe, Wash, and Simon stepped back from the couple. Mal eyed the couple suspiciously. "Li'l Albatross, I'm thinkin' you been spendin' too much time with my merc. Yer gettin' a bit ornery."

"I'm inclined to agree," Gabriel called from behind them. Mal glared at him. "Well, no one asked you."

Gabriel Tam glared at Mal resentfully. "I should think my opinion about this union counts."

"It doesn't," River said from beside Jayne, "not a proper father. Only Captain Daddy's opinion matters."

Mal's chest puffed out immodestly. "An' I say the two a you gettin' married is a fine idea."

"Which means it's probably a terrible idea," Wash muttered to his wife and Zoe called to River, "Yeah, you sure you want Mal blessin' this holy union? Don't sound like such a good idea. He has a tendency to jinx things."

"Hey!"

River nodded at the first mate. "Your point is valid, Zoe. Thank you."

She turned back to Mal who was glaring at Jayne, who was laughing. "Captain, your blessing is not necessary and we would prefer that you be opposed to our being wed in holy matrimony."

"Well, I am now 'cause Jayne's lookin' at me like I ain't got no authority an' yer bein' awful rebellious." Mal crossed his arms. "Jayne is a very bad man, and I ain't too happy 'bout the way he's rubbin' off on you."

"Aw, Hell, Mal, I ain't that bad a influence on her," Jayne said, waving his Captain off. Mal's jaw dropped. "You are, too! She was a perfectly well-behaved young lady before she started spendin' time with you-"

"Well behaved?! She done killed as many people as I have. That ain't well-behaved!"

"That don't count!"

"Then in what way have I had a negative affect on 'er?"

"She don't listen ta me as much as she used to."

"That's cause all yer plans 'er nothin' but go se!"

"They are not!"

"How many times we needed grenades on a job after ya tol' me not ta bring 'em?"

"Not many!"

"Grave understatement, Sir," Zoe said beside him and Mal gave her an aggrieved look. "Zoe, yer supposed to be on my side, not theirs."

"But they're right," Simon argued, backing up the first mate.

"Okay, not that I'm an expert on the whole combat aspect of the job, but I should think that when one is doing something illegal, it would be in their best interest to bring grenades seeing as explosions provide an excellent distraction. Not to mention they also get things done faster and-"

"Wash, shut up!"

"He's only bein' truthful, Cap'n," Matt spoke up. "Ain't nothin' like a big boom ta help get the job done."

"Well, I thought all my plans were pretty good," Mal pouted. Zoe sighed. "We ain't sayin' they wasn't, Sir-"

"I am," Jayne cut in and Zoe glared at him as she continued, "we're only sayin' that sometimes even a man like Jayne is right-"

"Hey, I'm standin' right here, Zoe, watch yer face!"

Wash rolled his eyes. "Poetical as always."

"If ya want I'll show ya some poetry in motion by runnin' my fist inta yer face!"

"Clever," Simon said, impressed. Jayne managed to look unbelievably surprised at the compliment. "Thanks, Doc."

"What's with all the yellin'," David hollered from upstairs, "my wife's tryin' ta sleep."

"You got married?" Jayne called toward the stairs. David called back, "Yeah, an' she actin' weird today. Keeps sayin' somethin' 'bout her Savior 'er whatever. I swear, woman's more trouble than she's worth."

The crew went completely silent and Mal, Jayne, and Zoe exchanged glances. Mal and Jayne blinked at one another before mumbling simultaneously, "Huh."

* * *

A/N: Okay, in pt. one, River was about 5 mos. preggers and by the time they reach Kerry, she is closing in on 7. As you can see, Regan is more accepting of River and Simon's new lifestyle. Gabriel is not. Simon is beginning to come to terms with his father's inability to understand that the crew of Serenity is more family than coworkers and that returning home to Osiris is indeed a bad idea. Gabriel's constant antagonistic approach to both Jayne and River also brings out a very prominent characteristic of the family dynamic: only true family is allowed to make fun of one another and cast acidic barbs, but once an outsider (Gabriel Tam in this case) takes a hand in it, the shit hits the fans and Jayne and Matt get to get themselves an ear...and possibly a finger or two. It's the Cobb way. Yeah, I know I said there would be more of the crazy academy student, but I decided to save that for next chapter so as to properly develop rapport between the Tam clan and the Serenity clan. But the student-who I will divulge is named Sarah- will be a central character in the next chapter. And just like our favorite moonbrained killer academy student, she's gonna be stirring up all sorts of trouble. Only this trouble won't be so fun. Or will it? Suspense!

if you have any questions, just ask. i'll be here all year. feel free to review.


	17. Family Pt 3

**I own nothing! Hazzah! Wait...**

* * *

Crazy-Savior-Girl as Jayne was fond of calling her in his head, was outright glaring at River. River's eyes kept darting around the room in an assessing manner and it took Jayne a moment to realize she was calculating any and all items that could be used as a weapon. He began counting as well. He soon lost count and his agitation began to mount. He was somewhat relieved to find Mal and Zoe were just as tense as he was. 

"I'm hungry," River announced. Crazy-Savior-Girl's glare deepened. "You're a thief."

"You're crazier than I am," River snapped. The blond girl tensed. "That wasn't nice."

"Well, calling me a thief wasn't nice. Finder's keepers. I may be fat, but I can take you if I have to."

"Cannot!"

"Can, too!"

"Will not!"

"Will, too!"

"Not worthy!"

River's face turned beat red with rage and she fought to stand, but only succeeded in pushing herself further into the couch. She let out a low, frustrated growl. She glowered at the girl. "If I had a gun, I would shoot you to put you out of my misery."

"Only the weak turn to violence for a solution," Crazy-Savior-Girl said snidely and River smirked maliciously. "Well, I guess maybe we made a mistake in attacking the Academy. I suppose you wanted us to just waltz in and _ask_ them politely to quit cutting into your minuscule brain. Do not be so quick to bite the hand that feeds you as it might pull a gun on you and shoot you for your insolence."

Crazy-Savior-Girl's face blanched and David put a hand on her shoulder. "Sarah?"

She jerked away from him. "She's fine."

River fought to push herself to sit up more correctly and Jayne reached over to help her. Crazy-Savior-Girl-Sarah's eyes narrowed. "Why did you get to have paradise? Why must she suffer while you float on pink clouds?"

River frowned at her. "Not always pink clouds. They were very stormy for a very long time."

"Well if this ain't been just a fine little get tagether," Mal mumbled sarcastically. Zoe raised an eyebrow. "Very fine, Sir."

"Very...non-threatening," Wash stuttered. "Can we go home now?"

"I ain't feelin' ta good 'bout that way yer wife's starin' at my girl like she's 'bout ta gut 'er," Jayne said in a low voice to David, causing both his brother and Crazy-Savior-Girl-Sarah to widen their eyes and reel back slightly. He pointed at his brother's wife. "Now any a them fanciful girly notions you got floatin' 'round in that cracked brain a yers need ta disappear right quick or so help me I will beat yer ass 'til it takes one a Doc's machines ta keep you alive."

"Should have wrapped the blue box with me," she mumbled back and he glared at her. "Gorramn it, I don't wanna wrap no blue boxes with you. If'n I did, I woulda-"

River's small hand on his arm cut him off. She smiled up at him. "No concept of ownership. Does not understand that some things are not tame-able and do not come when called."

Jayne smiled down at her. "I'm pretty sure when you tell me jump, I say 'how high'."

She smirked. "Does not mean you are tame. Means you are loyal. Like a penguin."

Jayne made a disgruntled face. "How the ruttin' hell did I go from bein' a Jaguar ta bein' a yu ben de _penguin_?"

"Penguins, both male and female are loyal to their mates," she laughed, poking his side, "however, I am the most loyal of the pair as you have yet to give me my pebble."

"Why would I give you a rock?"

Simon covered his face with his hand. "She means a wedding ring, you idiot."

"Oh, well, she shoulda said that," he snapped back to his future brother-in-law. Simon rolled his eyes in exasperation. "She did!"

"Oh, so now you know everythin' she means when she spouts of 'er nonsensical poetry," Jayne groused, "weren't too long ago you was scratchin' yer head tryin' ta figure out what she Gorramn meant when she was spoutin' off her bird in th'egg talk an' callin' me a jaguar!"

Simon's face reddened. "Pardon me for just now catching on."

Wash raised an eyebrow. "Gotta admit, Simon, you were pretty slow on the uptake. Me knowing what she was saying before you is pretty sad."

Zoe smirked. "Husband, did you just call yourself stupid?"

Wash sighed, hurt. "Well, Sweet-thighs, it does further my point..."

Jayne turned back to stare at Crazy-Savior-Girl-Sarah. "You done actin' like a freak yet?"

* * *

The small church was hot and stuffy and there was no air conditioning. The guests consisted solely of Jayne's family, the crew of Serenity, and River and Simon's parent's. After a heated "argument" in which River lobbed one of her boots at Jayne's head, she finally acquiesced to his demands and put on said boots on the grounds that he not wear his pin-up shirt. He wore his "big all over" shirt instead. They were the least formal of all in attendance, Matt and Barrett coming in at a close second. Vera was maid of honor and Wash was the best man. Mal proudly walked River down the isle, though she waddled more than walked, casting an eat shit and die look to a grim-faced Gabriel Tam. Everyone else was all smiles. 

"I, River Annabelle Tam, promise to love, honor and sometimes obey Jayne Michael Cobb. I also promise not to slash at his chest with butcher's knives when I have crazy fits, though I don't have those fits anymore and the point is moot. However, I promise to have more fits that end in violence against others as it causes him great amusement and results in exemplary sexual intercourse for the both of us. I promise to fully sex him every night just the way he likes it and more-"

"That's kinda really horrific," Mal muttered from his place beside Inara. River and Jayne both shot him a warning glare and Inara elbowed him.

"I also promise that should we ever part from extenuating circumstances-"

"What?"

"I'm not finished-"

"What circumstances?!"

River glared up at Jayne. "The operative word was _should_, Jayne, let me finish!"

Jayne rolled his eyes and she continued, "That I will not demand any of Jayne's girls, especially Vera, as part of the settlement. As I love Jayne, such extenuating circumstances will never come to pass. I will consider doing such menial tasks as laundry and cooking only on special occasions such as his birthday or him having nearly been shot to death, though it will most likely be the former of the two as he is smart enough to know that being shot nearly to death will gain him no sympathy. Being that I am more mathematical of mind, I will take full responsibility for managing our income from any and all illegal trade we take part in on Serenity and am prepared to give up my part in our life of crime in order to properly raise our offspring as is seen fit-"

"No more fancy, sexifying fighting?"

River sighed in exasperation. "I'm not finished, Jayne, I'm about to get to that part."

Jayne's lower lip jutted out in a pout and she smiled up at him as she continued on. "However, since I will on occasion accompany Jayne out for a drink, I will make it a point to take part in as many bar brawls as possible so that I may later play nursemaid and thus fall prey to Jayne's more carnal and manly urges."

Jayne perked up. "That's more like it!"

River smiled up at him tenderly. "Jayne, you are the only Jaguar wild enough to for this swan and I promise to always be your Wendy-bird. I love you ever so much."

Jayne rolled his eyes, smiling all the while as he stared down at her for several minutes. River arched an eyebrow at him expectantly and his brow furrowed in confusion. Wash leaned forward and whispered, "It's your turn to say you're vows!"

"Oh," Jayne squeaked in the most manful way possible as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a badly crinkled and gun oil stained paper. He dusted the lint off of it and unfolded it quickly, clearing his throat. "I, Jayne Michael Cobb, promise ta love, honor, an' always obey River Annabelle Tam. I promise never ta backhand River ever again should she ever have a crazy fit where she does slash at me with a Butcher's knife. Instead, I'll just sex 'er up good 'cause that always seems ta make 'er an' me feel better about any an' all fits she has that end in violence. I promise ta always put food on our table fer us an' our kids an' ta never ever get muhself shot up ta the point that she'll cry an' carry on an' make 'erself sick over it. I also promise that I will try not ta save her life at the expense of my own, even though her life is more important than mine-"

"Is not!"

"Fer someone who made such a big deal 'bout bein' interrupted-"

"Continue."

Jayne huffed and glared. "I will also try not ta be so mean ta Simon, though he deserves it fer actin' like he's such a know-it-all all the time..."

Jayne waggled his eyebrows at her. "However, as this is of the highest priority, I promise, first an' foremost that any an' all sexing that occurs between the two a us will be conducted while I am attired only in my hat an' that said sexing will last a minimum of two hours."

Jayne shuffled his feet uncomfortably for several seconds and glared around the chapel nervously. He drew himself up to his full height and puffed up his chest. "River, yer the only woman in the 'verse that I like kissin' on the mouth-" His eyes widened in horror. "Not that I been goin' 'round kissin' women on the mouth! Gorramn it, what I mean is, yer the only one I wanna kiss on the mouth an' do a lotta sexin' with an' yer the only one I ever wanna marry an' have kids with an'...Well, I love ya, an' you'll always be my Wendy-bird."

He smiled jauntily at the preacher. "I'm done now."

The preacher, who had done nothing but gape at the pair all the way through their vows nodded and and smiled tightly. "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Jayne Michael Cobb. You may kiss-"

Jayne had already leaned down to kiss his wife, making sure to kiss her as thoroughly as possible. The preacher gazed heavenward and shook his head. Everyone whooped and Jayne pulled away, smiling happily. "We should get married more often!"

River smiled up at him serenely. "Jayne."

"Yeah, Baby?"

"My water just broke."

* * *

A/N: okay, so, don't really have many notes for this part...um, chaos is about to ensue, so I cut it off here. Can't have a crazy vs. crazy battle royale with one of them knocked up. Any questions, just ask. Reviews would be appreciated! 


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